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Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Have a lovely day.

I had insomnia over the weekend, as I sometimes do, and while I was thinking about doing another "things you may have heard while hanging out with us" post, I was also cleaning up my email inbox. I like to play with words, to do things with them that neither God nor man ever intended. So I did this. This is a post, including the title, composed entirely of snippets from some emails of the past week, sort of "things you may have heard while hanging out in my inbox":


damn, I'M HUNGRY!


Is he showing up yet? Hopefully he is . . .

that's a great story about the package!

I'm sure I meant the big one. I think it's time for me to go to bed.

And I mean QUICK!

if that can't lift my spirits some, nothing can.

RUN WITH IT!!!

Dear lord . . . now THAT is low-hanging fruit.

it's gotta be the hair. There's no other explanation.

I knew I shoulda gotten that sex change when they had the deep discounts . . .

Oh wait . . . you're leaving off the part about the whore, right? RIGHT???


I couldn't live with myself if I didn't share

Many people would croak if they really knew

I HAVE YOUR IP AND WILL HAND IT OVER TO THE POLICE IF THIS CONTINUES.

there's no need to kick my ass

You are always so cute when you smoke crack!

Now? Not so much . . .

Thanks for sharing, dork.


****
Now, don't be thinking that you can't email me, because all your secrets will be lifted and put into a post. I was careful not to choose anything that would identify anyone, although Bucky some people may have a certain style, a certain flavor to their discourse that may make such people identifiable. These are lines from at least 8 different people. Only 1 line is mine. Can you guess which one? Think you recognize anyone else? Not that I'll tell ;)

28 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger eclectic said...

0 heads are better than one... and I'm the one, apparently.



*sigh*

 
Blogger Jim said...

I want to see the original emails :) They sound GOOD.

I'm guessing yours is the 'o lord, that's some low-hanging fruit'...I'm right, aren't I? Oh, I'm SO right.

 
Blogger abcd said...

Dang she is sighing a whole lot in
here.

Quite a good post. I can't quite
figure out which one is yours.

But I laughed so hard at Kranki's
when I saw later you singing
Calender Girl when I told YOU NO.

That really was kinda scary...
We must be sisters if that "stuff"
is happening.

 
Blogger Andrea said...

Got no idea who wrote it, but "Dear lord . . . now THAT is low-hanging fruit." sounds the most intriguing!

 
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Well, some of these phrases sounds...um...vaguely familiar, as if they came from my own keyboard, heh heh heh. And there are a couple of others I can probably guess pretty accurately.

I haven't decided which one I think is you. And won't I have jizzy egg on my face when it turns out to be something you wrote in an email to me!

 
Blogger WILLIAM said...

My guess for the one you wrote is "I couldn't live with myself if I didn't share."

Neat idea.

 
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Susie -- I'm guessing your "line" is the one in all caps about going to the police.


Oh goodness, I see the one I wrote! :)

 
Blogger Amy said...

Did CK write the crack one? She is always so positive about things, it just sounds like her.

 
Blogger Susie said...

eclectic, aw, honey. That just means that um, no heads are better than yours. I mean, your head is the best. I'll stop now.

jim, oh, they ARE good. Now wait a minute, Jim. You're saying my fruit is low-hanging? Be that as it may, I did not make that statement. You are SO wrong.

shoshie, if someone tells me, "NO," that is my cue to say, "WATCH ME." ;)

andrea, it is so very intriguing. If the owner of said fruit would like to come forward, that would be fine :)

bucky, I don't think the word "jizzy" has ever before appeared on this blog. Thank you so very much for that. I mean for waiting this long before depositing it here. You know I love you, you KNOW I do; but doesn't the good ol' expression "egg on my face" paint ENOUGH of a picture? I'm just sayin'...

william, nope. But this whole exercise is becoming very interesting to me. Do I strike you as one who can't resist sharing?

ck, that's a good guess; but not really. You actually wrote at least 2. And I owe you two stories, of sorts, that will be coming, soon :)

amy, CK is very positive, and she would tell me I'm cute, even when I'm smoking crack, which is why I'm going to marry her some day, but nope, she didn't say that. Another positive person did :)

 
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Wow you get some emails from real sickos.

Glad Im such a nice girl.

 
Blogger Twixie said...

I think yours is this:

"You are always so cute when you smoke crack!"

 
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

"I couldn't live with myself if I didn't share." That's your line. It isn't?

 
Blogger Dawn said...

i think yours is:

it's gotta be the hair. There's no other explanation

maybe?, or um, heck, i dont know. can i have 18 guesses?

 
Blogger Squirl said...

I have no idea who said what but I can't stand to not comment. So, hi anyway, Susie!

*waving*

 
Blogger Susie said...

jess, hmmmm, sickos, yes. Nothing here that you would recognize, is there, jess?

twixie, nope! I am, sadly, the crack smoker to which the emailer refers.

hoss, while I do enjoy being known for my generosity, that wasn't me.

dawn, nope. I may have to give hints!

hi,squirl, surely you recognize your OWN! It's one of my favorites.

 
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Recognize what? I um, have no idea, none at all what you could mean.


What like I email people like some stalker pervert or something?

Thats Buckys job.

 
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Jess, how many emails and registered letters and telegrams and phone calls to that supposedly unlisted number and singing naked monkey-grams do I have to send you to convince you to stop with the "stalker/pervert" talk? It makes me cry big tears of shame onto my flasher trenchcoat.

 
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Bucky,

42.

 
Blogger Susie said...

Singing naked monkey-grams? Jess gets all the good stuff!

 
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Oh, how quickly they forget. Susie, did I not just send you that Wet Nurse Squirting Milk-O-Gram?

 
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Maybe I should begin a similar collection? No, just something else I’d forget to do. I’m have a strange bit of insomnia recently: not matter what time I go to be, I awaken at about 2:00 a.m. I have no idea why, bit I’m getting’ tired of it.

 
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

SS Nick - maybe you need somebody to send you a monkey-gram.

 
Blogger Susie said...

No, I want the Monkey! Send ssnick the Milk-o-Gram . . . maybe with some cookies?

 
Blogger rzdrms said...

my guess, and i'm stickin' to it, and i thought you'd wrote it even before you said you wrote one of the lines, is: "that's a great story about the package!"

love,
rz (the former stalked rzdrms)

 
Blogger Susie said...

raz, nope, but I am proud to say I am the one who wrote the great story about the package, to which the emailer refers ;)

 
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Susie darlin, how much longer do we have to wait to get the answers?!

 
Blogger Susie said...

ck, OK, I'll just tell you mine, which is the lamest, least colorful, but most like me:
damn, I'M HUNGRY
That was my response when someone offered to bake me some brownies; first I said, no, but then I decided, well, you see what I decided :)

I will also say that the lovely and talented Bucky said, among other things here, "Dear lord . . . now THAT is low-hanging fruit," after I told her that someone had come to my site searching for "Bucky boobs."

 
Blogger Squirl said...

Oh crap, I remember which one is mine. Tee hee. It was after nine o'clock and my brain officially shuts off after that. :-)

 


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