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Monday, March 14, 2005

Things You May Have Overheard if You Were Hanging Out With Us

(CAUTION: Each entry stands alone. If you try to make them make sense, you could hurt yourself.)


Don't let the dog write on the wall!

S: You're incredibly unobservant.
J: Yea, I've still got that going for me.

No, Biscuit.

I'm going to wrap up this banana nut bread and take it home for tomorrow. I might make a SAMMICH with it! What, why you lookin' at me like that? OK, I just felt like saying "sammich."

Mom!! You are not believin' this! Michael Jackson used to be black! I'm serious, we found a book in the library, and he was right there! Being black! Mom, how do you do that?

Thank you for making the cookies, Daddy. They're edible.

If the child is allergic to nuts, she'd better stay away from our house.

NO, BISCUIT!!!

Your brother called. The sane one.

Never play Twister with anyone over 75. No matter how much they pout.

Is your collar too tight, or have you put on some pounds around your neck?

J: You never used to hear the words, "erectile quality" on TV.
LG (just passing thru):. . . What is reptile quality? Never mind, I don't even like reptiles . . .
S: I'm liking "erectile" as a noun, as in, "That's one quality erectile you've got there."

Rrrrrring. Rrrrrring.
Susie: Hello?
Caller: I think your dog is in our yard. We're on the street behind
you . . .
Susie: Um, I don't think so, I believe he's napping in the living room, wait, let me . . .
Caller: . . . He's wearing, uh, formal attire . . .?
Susie: (embarrassed pause) Oh . . . I'll be right there.

When are you going to use your powers for good?

Dammit! The dog wrote on the wall again!

13 heads are better than one . . .

Anonymous EZ (like my morals) said...

Don't you just hate it when you call their name and they look at you and run the other way. The other day it took me about 1/2 hour to get Scooter in the house (before I left for work). He was obsessed with something under the neighbour's shed and when I came out to physically bring him in he started to play. Biscuit has nothing over the XBD (extremely bad dog) that lives with me.

 
Blogger Susie said...

EZ, pets tend to take after their owners...XB sounds about right...

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very funny. Nice stuff to read on a Monday morning!

lawbrat


Lawbrat.com

 
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Ha! That part about Michael Jackson made laugh out loud. :)

 
Blogger Susie said...

lawbrat, happy Monday, thanks for stopping by:)

CK, yes, wacko jacko is a little hard to explain to the kiddies...

 
Blogger LadyBug said...

Those are hilarious. But I don't get the "formal attire" thing...Did LG dress up Biscuit? Or is "formal attire" a euphemism for something I really don't want to think about on a Monday morning?

 
Blogger Susie said...

ladybug, LG dresses him up, which, unlike other dogs I've known, he LOVES. He wore a sparkly vest and bowtie the night of her party and for days afterward, and he did like to parade the neighborhood, "stylin'."

 
Anonymous Doreen said...

First-timer to the site--don't usually comment on blogs, but the image of your dog dressed up in a neighbor's yard absolutely cracked me up! Thanks for the visual!

 
Blogger Susie said...

doreen, glad to give you a giggle. Thanks for letting me know you were here, come back any time:)

 
Blogger Greenthumb said...

The Michael Jackson comment really is the best one...you really never think about it from their perspective. But how incredibly true that is.

Good job capturing nuggets of golden moments.

(dog writes on the walls a lot?)

 
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie, dear, do you think dressing the dog in formal attire is giving him delusions of grandeur? Maybe he's sneaking off for a little ballroom dancing.

 
Blogger Susie said...

greenie and bucky, see the pictures, worth 2000 words...

 
Blogger Annejelynn said...

I saw "sammich" too! GM (beau's son) tells me "you're silly."

 


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