OK ... my arrested adolescence aside, that was a wonderful, hilarious story, perfectly told. It's one of my top ten stories I've read on any blog, and I'm going to get anybody I can to read it. You, my dear, are an insanely terrific writer, in spite of your booty flies.

That was fantastic. You have a talent for writing. I was laughing out loud, my youngest came over to see what was so funny, and he just read the bold 'thank you!! Thank you!!' Then I changed tabs. :-)

nilbo, how kind of you. I guess I'll stop hoping Roxy bites you. At least for today;)

lawbrat, thank you. That happens here sometimes, too. We have our only computer in the family room so we can "police" what LG reads and sees. But who will police ME?

Wonderful writing, hilarious - I could feel myself in your place - the shame and fear - on no booty flies! This story I will remember forever!

I am trying not to laugh out loud, but it's so hard!! That is one of the funniest things I have every read. I can't even imagine how I would have felt if I had been in your position. Great story!

Awesome. Priceless. I am laughing out loud RIGHT NOW! Booty flies. BOOTY FLIES!

BWAH!

I always thought they were fruit flies. What do I know?

I am howling with laughter!! I can just imagine how you felt when he said "you have booty flies" and when you found out--you made that nurse's day I bet! And when that Doc went home that day and said "Sweetie, I had the most interesting day--there was this girl with booty flies and she started screaming 'THank you thank you' on the table--I've never seen anything like it....."
hahahaha

Thanks Susie!!

MB,thank you for your empathy. I have remembered it well for 22 years!

rina bee, oh go ahead and laugh out loud, it's good for the baby!

cat, I'm tellin' you, they're out there. A girl can't be too careful...

Summer, so I've heard ... I was picturing flystrips and swatters and heavenonlyknows...

squirl, that's only if you wear those fruit-flavored undies...
squirl?

effie, ohmygosh, I had never thought of that. I'll bet he still tells the story of me the way I still tell the story of him! Wonder if he's got a blog...

kitty, thank you, I like having an animal contingent. So you and squirl allegedly "work" together, there on the "job," eh?

I like to laugh, giggle, and chuckle, etc. Not only did I have those reactions while reading your post, I also cried. Not many people can cause such a reaction from me. Thank you for the lovely post - I'm still wiping tears from my eyes.

PS: the tears at first were from laughter, but the final sentence "I like a man who can look deeply into my vagina and tell me I have beautiful eyes." hit me in a personal way.

Thanks for evoking great emotions!

Have a lovely day!!!

giggles, thank you, I'm glad for the laughter. And thank you for the P.S. You caught me; that goes beyond the silly for me, too. You have a lovely day, as well:)

SHAME ON YOU, Susie. Your disclaimer at the beginning should include a warning about NOT reading this entry at work. I was seriously laughing out loud at that one. I tried to do the cough/snort thing at first, to mask it; but by the end I was just kind of holding my breath, chest heaving and shoulders shaking from trying to suppress the giggles. Now I have a headache.

"booty flies." Oh, Lord help me, that was funny.

Dude. What's this guy's office number? My doc never looks into the hoo-hoo abyss and compliments my eyes...but maybe you just have better eyes. Dammit!

That story made me laugh so hard that a combo of Coke and Fritos came dangerously close to coming out of a nostril. Breakfast of champions, donchaknow?

When Nilbo mentioned this on Dooce, I thought he was linking to an old post. How did I miss it? I've read everything!

Oh I'm laughing so hard. But I wonder, if you did have trouble reaching orgasm, what would Joaquin do? "This is just my finger. Be amazed at the power of JUST my finger! I can teach your husband. Call now! Classes fill quickly."

I've said it before and I'll say it again...Blogstar. Mostly I'm just glad that booty flies are not real. How would one explain that??? It does make you wonder how far that speculum was going up inside to be able see your eyes.

I think I just choked on my Ozarka Spring Water when I read this story. I could just imagine myself in your position, laying there, staring at the ceiling, trying to fathom what in the world booty flies are and how they will affect the rest of my life. You really are a great writer - thanks for making my day!

Yeah...that was the best story on the net so far!

LOVE YOU!

Susie, you make-a me wet my assless chaps!

Hey, at least your gyn didn't look directly into your fun factory while asking "So, how old are your children?" and then you have to answer back, in complete mortification, "Um, I don't have any children..." and then he says "Oh." and doesn't speak again for a really, really long time.

Squirl, Kitty...shame on you both. I'm so proud.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.

Oh Lordy, I'm laughing the trying-to-stifle-the-laugh-but-it's-giving-me-a-headache-to-do-so-and-look-out-work-people-i'm-going-to-laugh-out-loud" laugh.

And I have a pretty loud laugh. It's genetic. ;)

I've just emailed the link to Erika, my best friend at work. She doesn't read many blogs.

AND, I've added the link to my site because I think it's so funny.

Heh, and similar to what dashababymama said in a previous comment, I'll carry this "booty flies" around with me for a long time.

Some things you read in the blogosphere tend to stick with you.

I have one question: What did Jif say about your booty flies? Did he already know you had them?

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Whether or not he discovered a J spot, I want your doc! He sounds awesome. Super story.

LOL! Thanks! I needed that laugh... keep on bloggin'.

Thank God I have a private office! However there's a transom window next to the door, so I still have to hide behind the door and cover my mouth while tears run down my face from laughing so hard. Classic, Susie, absolutely classic.

Classic story and written so well.

And I admire a woman who can use the words "my vagina" in her blog and not be fazed by it.

You rock, Susie Q.

I'm lying on my carpet howling with laughter - that was fantastic, thank you! Came over from Dooce to read it and so glad I did, you've made my day. :)

ladybug, soorreeee. Next time I'll do more disclaiming;)

plum, au contraire, mon luscious fruit. You have most unforgettable eyes. I am specifically remembering you as Professor Plum. You need a better doc. Maybe look for a 50ish Colombian.

sfg, your taste in blogs may be questionable, but you are clearly a connoisseur of fine snacks;)

mrtl, the second part of your comment: LVL (laughed very loudly); the first part, however NSM...ONHD (nearly shit myself...oh no he di'int!)

greenie, just be thankful you got the parts you got, know'm sayin'?

katiebbaw, "how they will affect the rest of my life," indeed! heehee Thank you, love.

Aw, kristine, you're so sweet. LOVE backatcha.

bucky, glad to make you go all brainy. I gotta tell you, I remember that post of yours, which in my mind was entitled, "Bucky's Cavernous Vagina." Hello o o o in there ere ere ere!

GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK! TALK TO THE REST OF YOU LATER! THANKS FOR COMIN' TO SEE ME:)

I, too, am going to link to your story so all my infertile blogging friends can read about it. They'd appreciate it more than you know. It was v v funny!!

Ha! I just remembered something. When I was a teenager I went to Dr. Hassan, an Indian doctor, and well, I had really mild acne and I asked if he could prescribe something. He told me to wash my face with "liver soap." I was appalled and had no clue where and what liver soap was. Eventually I realized he was say, "Lever" soap--as in Lever 2000. The funny thing is, Lever DID clear up my acne!

I'd rather have booty flies than cock roaches...
Great post as usual.

Sierrabella -- Very, very funny. I like that! :)

WebMD would so pay for that story! Loved it, loved it, loved it! I was actually mouthing the BEE-YOO-TEE-FULL EYES as I read it. I was expecting it to be "Butterflies" from nervousness. If he can see your beaufiful eyes from your vagina, then he can surely see the butterflies in your stomach.

Wow! That was a great story and really made me LOL. For real, baby. Booty flies.

Your moment in the stirrups sounds better than most of the dates I can remember having. If he served martinis as well, I'd be calling for an appointment immediately!

Robyn thought the same thing that I did. I thought he meant you were having butterflies over your wedding plans. duh

Yes, Kitty and I go to the same building and pretend to work. I have to introduce her to Bucky some day. They are quite alike in some ways, like total irreverence toward most things in life.

Loved this post!

CK, aka Larry the Cable Guy. They don't call Jif "The Frog" for nothing. (Susie's inner mama: I told you, don't act like a damn fool just to make the other kids laugh!)

niffer, he truly was the best, and I've had a zillion of 'em.

sarah, amy, emma, welcome, and thank you for visiting. Glad to share the funny.

william, thank you. It tickles me to see you here, since you first visited on such a "serious" non-goofy day:)

andrea, truth be told, I'm not exactly "unfazed;" more than once, I asked Jif, you SURE that's not TMI?

lala, thanks for that. When I was in the midst of the infertility treatments, I had probably never even heard of a blog. It would have been great to have had the support that those folks offer each other.

mamaramma, just go buy a can of pantyRAID!

sarah, LIVER is good for SO many things;)

sierrabella, I'm gonna have to install sound effects -- I keep needing a rimshot for your comments!

robyn, ya think? Never used my vagina to make money before...no really, never... And you're so right, he would have passed the butterflies en route...

laurenbove, he was VERY hospitable, I'm sure if I had asked, he woulda had some refreshments;)

YOU, ro, get the capital f out of here! NO, I mean WELCOME! Are you kidding me? Where is everybody! Look who's visiting my little blog! Seriously, Rosie, I'm shaking. What a geeky fan I am.

I AM NEVER WASHING THIS BLOG AGAIN!!!!

LG, hurry, call daddy!!

*sigh*

My OB/GYN moved out of town a few months ago ... to Sedona, as a matter of fact. I tried to track him down while I was out there, but his wife had already taken out a restraining order.

A good OB/BYN is hard to find. It's not like I can take them for a test drive first. I mean, I guess I could, but I suspect it would get really uncomfortable after awhile ... in every sense of the word.

OMG!! ROSIE VISITED YOUR BLOG! I AM LIKE FOUR DEGREES OF SEPARATION FROM THAT. Wow. You rock!

Also, I loved your story, it is hilarious. I would think that if you laughed in the stirrups it would make you clench up, and that's no fun for anyone!

Now, THIS, Susie, is the kind of post I expect from you! Booty Flies! OMFG! I was trying not to laugh out loud, but I couldn't help it.

Especially the last sentence: "I like a man who can look deeply into my vagina and tell me I have beautiful eyes."

Besides that I'm stuffed with birthday treats here, I'm jealous as hell!

Booty flies...I might have to mention that one to the Hot Prof;-)

Or not - he may not understand.

OMG!!! you got it goin' on gurl!!! Congrats...you are so worthy of any and all things that come your way...never doubt it.

These comments are damn near as funny as booty flies.

Gawd, booty flies are going to make me laugh for the rest of the week!

hey, Julie, yea, there are some activities you just don't wanna combine with driving (?)

ern, honey, YOU are only... 3 comments away, and one of them was me, so that doesn't count. Can you BELIEVE it? I went all a-twitter. I'm happy to have friendly witnesses, though. It's not like I can go running through the streets of blogworld saying, "Rosie's at my house!" I did run and tell my brother, greenie, but I don't think he's home;)

Ahem, back here on earth, you know, you make a good point, and I do not remember any clenching. I suspect I was so relieved that I actually relaxed from clenching when I started laughing...yea, I'd say that was it...

greenie, you came right over! Hold me for a minute, I went a little goofy. Just not EVER expecting a thing like that, you know? There, that's better. As always, you know what to say. It's like you're some gay man or something... ;)

oh, squirl, you sneaked (snuck?) your furry tail in there:) I think Bucky and Kitty will get along just fine. I'll count on you to be the brainy one in the group.

little sister, are you saying it's ya birfday? I'll come and see you in a bit. If so, HAPPY TO YOU, girl. I'll send you some booty flies or somethin'...

hey, hey paula, I want to marry you... sorry, that's just what came out. I'm sure you're wonderful, but I am already married. And I'm happy we had what you needed this afternoon:)

Sorry, Susie - 'snot my birthday; it's Jeff's birthday (he's a first-year associate here at Dewey Screwum & Howe...but for some reason we brought in a 'shload of food, and I'm full and need a nap.

z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z

well, little sister, you don't have to get 'snotty...

thank you, mamaramma, maybe for a moment today. But look who YOU get to rock every day, at least for a bit longer:) I meant what I said about that being a great children's book idea; so sweet and funny...

OHMYGOSHROSIEWASHERE!!! ANDSHESAIDYOUAREFUNNY!!! ANDSHEKNOWSFUNNY!!!

wow...

andrea
ANDYOUMADEMELAUGH!!!
ANDROSIESAIDIAMFUNNY!!!
ANDSHEKNOWSFUNNY!!!
ANDNOWIGOTTAGOCOOKDINNER!!!

Pfft. Cooking dinner. And Rosie O'Donnell was here? I'd think you'd have your own personal chef by now.

Oh, sure, now you'll be all "Yeah, I used to know them ..."

Heeheeheee.

nilbo WHO? never heard of him... ;)

... and so it starts ... (grin)

you made my day - booty flies indeed

SUSIE WAS MY FRIEND FIRST!! I KNEW HER FIRST!! I LOVE YOU SUSIE!! :)

XOX

DC - deranged cracker

That is way way way hysterical. I am also very happy for you that you dont have booty flies because I would assume that would make it impossible to wear a skirt without calling attention to yourself.

Girl, you've got Rosie commenting on your site? That is one of those "now I can die happy" kind of things. At least it is in the blogging world. You keep coming up with these brainy stories and you'll have the celebrities pouring in to read you. pouring in.....? Well, you know what I mean.

AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That was freakin' awesome!

You have a gift, really. Intelligent AND witty. Rare and wonderful!

operagirl, good to see you again. I am happy to have added a little somethin' to your day:)

deranged cracker, first, I LOVE your name. Second, while ro has certainly ASKED to be my new best blogfriend, there is no way I would leave you for her. I mean, what does she have that you don't? You have all those houses, and boats, and you hang out with the cool people . . .what? Uuuhhh, dang, lemme get back to ya...

dimpled chin
dog catcher
(I can't top deranged cracker. I come from a mentally ill Hillbillian family. YOU are my peeps...sniff)

jessicarabbit, the worst part is the buzzin'...

squirl, dying happy is the next thing on the agenda, 'cause now I can't think of another funny thing to say. I was gonna post my grocery list tomorrow...

And are you KIDDING ME????!!!!

I guess I should have read the comments before I commented.

HOLY FREAKING CRAP!

You's a cee-lebrity now, Susie-Q! (said in my bestest Hillbillie drawl.)

misfit, thank you for your very kind compliment and for the Hillbillian dialect. HOLY FREAKING CRAP! indeed. Wasn't that cool? I was most tickled:)

sometimes i skip to the last line of a blog post and read backwards.

big mistake this time ;)

brando, Well, what kind of freakin' annoying-ass comment is THAT? My husband finds your comment very amusing, which may get him injured soon; he likes to say things that exasperate me and I think he thinks you're a kindred spirit;)
BTW, I miss your pain-in-the-neck photo. (And also BTW, I only tease those I really like).

Susie, you rock. Madison-Square-Garden-sold-out-for-a-month-of-shows Rock.

Hold me closer tony danza.

There's a bathroom on the right.

Excuse me while I kiss this guy.

summer, yea, I'm trying to work the Miss Thang angle; been sittin' here waitin' for the next celebrity sighting...hoping for Johnny Depp...my ass is going to sleep...

ooh, closet metro, I LIKE it... Susie and the Booty Flies...

torrie, give me your keys, honey. Sit here with me for a little while...

wow...what a day for you Sis. You really stirred up the blog dust this time. Now you have to figure out how to one up this. Okay, okay, maybe that's too much pressure.

Really though, you only have to be yourself to keep that blogstar shining. Don't let this get you all blown out of proportion...enjoy it for what it is...are you hearing me?

SO HELP ME!!!! if you get all famous and leave me I'll throw myself down and, and, and... oh who am I kidding. You just keep doin' yo thang sista friend. MWAH!!!!! >>>>HUGS<<<<

Good one C.M.

WOW! Great post! Came by bRando. Hmm you think your little girl would like my faity tale post today! I will keep reading!!

greenie, you just hitch your wagon to my star, baby. We're goin' places! (Mostly places that end in "mart": Wal-Mart, PetSmart . . .)

mrsmogul, thank you. I popped over to your fairy tale for just a moment, and I will go back to read more...but mrsmogul, my daughter's not allowed to read words like that..even with the *** taking the place of some of the letters...

What, sleeping in today, resting on your laurels ...? The bar has been raised. People are no doubt clicking on your blog, wondering where today's latest hilarious post from that Susie character is. I mean, after all, this is one of those blogs the celebrities check out ...

(giggling as I imagine you hunched over your keyboard, sweating bullets ...)

Oh .. and, Good Morning :)

nilbo, ehhehehheh -- that's my pre-coffee laugh/cough combo. The laurels are actually pretty comfy, and I don't really do the bars anymore. I re-read yesterday's post and it's still plenty hilarious. Gonna stick to plan. I usually post a "bigger" one on Tuesday or Wednesday, then take the day off and go read other folks on Wednesday or Thursday...life goes on... Besides, I promised greenie I'd take him to the Wal-Mart today;)

You're fabulous, Susie, and not just because Rosie dropped by. (Although that's SO FREAKIN' COOL!!)

Great, great story. I am not sure how I would respond to my Doctor if she said the same thing to me whilst holding on to my undercarriage, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't laugh!

Wooohoo! Going to WalMart!!! (spanking myself)

kalki, thank you and welcome back. I enjoyed your trip:) And I gotta go with you on the "FREAKIN' COOL!!"

ADAMANT, at first, your name alarmed me. Now I give you the sirens, confetti, etc., for giving us the word of the day, never before uttered on this blog: undercarriage.

greenie, I heeheeheeHEEEEEE love you. heeheeeeee

Susie, that story was the shit.

Just a moment...
Greenie -- if you keep doing that, you'll go blind.

Back to Susie -- GIRL! Let me first point out that NOT EVEN DOOCE HERSELF has had RO comment on her site! YOU, SUSIE, YOU are DA VERY BOMB DIGGITY! I am all excited FOR you! Wow, so very cool.

I told Hubby about your story and that he had to read it. He must have been amused by it, he's used "Booty Flies" in a sentence in two different conversations now. :)

Oh, and Dang -- I thought Susie was MY best friend. Bummer.

Hey... do you think RO will come by again and read the comments (preening) Um, if she does, if you do read this RO, and if you have time and all, maybe you could go read my site....??

Congrats on your Rosie visitor Susie, we all bow to you....
I just started reading your blog and to think I was going to ask you a how-to question about blogging since I am waaaaay techie-challenged and have just gotten into this whole thing. Have been following along with the "groupies" for awhile and have to admit to being sucked in to the VORTEX that is the blogosphere! =)
I LOVE the story about booty flies!!

weetzie: That's the pure beauty of this whole thing. Susie is so new to this that she doesn't realize, well at least until now, that she's blog-a-rific. No tech skillz,(this is self noted by her), she has a simple template for her blog, nothing fancy and flashy and then Wa-La...she shines on her talent and her charms alone. Proof that you don't have to be a dooce (not that there is anything wrong with that) to be a great blogger (should that be your aspiration) or to be a wonderful friend in the blog-o-sphere.

oh greenthumb I just read YOUR blog yesterday and it was quite inspired....isn't it great/cool/wonderful...and of course, don't we all aspire to be noticed out here?

Wow. 86 comments AND Rosie?
Maybe it's time you took Dooce's place in the comment world.

strizz stopped by the house! Holy cow, now I FEEL like shit. I mean like THE shit. (That little word makes a big difference, doesn't it?) Welcome, and thank you.

CK, dooce probably didn't have the hook-up that I had; Nilbo left my link in Rosie's comments. Still pretty amazing that she came and that she commented.

You know there's enough love here for both you and dang. and greenie and bucky and squirl and mrtl and summer and mb and laurenbove and lawbrat and... don't get me started on that, I got work to do today.

Yea, I'm pretty sure ol' ro's gonna be up in here all the time now, just won't be able to get rid of her, so she'll be stopping over to see you...

weetzie, like greenie said, if I can do this, anyone can. Email me if you'd like; I don't know much, but I'll help if I can. Thanks for letting me know you were here:)

greenie, quit jerking me around. First you made me laugh like a crazy person this morning, and now you bring tears to my eyes. "to be a great blogger (should that be your aspiration) or to be a wonderful friend in the blog-o-sphere." Guess which is more important to me?

oops, missed you there, torrie, the comments are largely BECAUSE of Rosie. Don't want anyone's place but mine. There's room for everyone. I must compulsively talk back to people. Dooce can't possibly do that, and I think that's kind of sad. I'll stick with my small-scale compulsion.

weetzie: I was leary of being noticed in the beginning, but the affirmation, the encouragement, the mutual understanding certainly fueled my desire to continue on. Blogging has it's rewards and it's trolls. Thank you weetzie, you're too kind.

While I did leave a link on Rosie's comments (and Dooce's - see the first comment in this string), I'd guess that the increased traffic here (almost a hundred comments? Surely we'll break the century mark, kids, won't we?) is due to what they call the "viral effect" on the internet ... "she tells two friends, and she tells two friends ... and so on ... and so on .." (stop me, I've become a hair product commercial!). And it can all be traced back to a brilliant post.

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93, now 94, comments!!! Sometimes *Rosie* doesn't get that many. Sheesh. Surely you'll break the 100 mark today.

The J-spot, Booty Flies, thanks for the laugh. And thank God for that kind nurse. Woohoo #95. Go Me.

nilbo and andrea, looks like you're right about that. I haven't ever been one to count comments so much as try to guage how much the people who did stop in, enjoyed their visit. Quality, not quantity, of these little intersections of human lives. In real life, I save the notes from people who tell me they enjoyed the "spirit" of my house. This influx (now there's a word I don't use every day) has me looking at bloglife rather thoughtfully, today. Pardon my lack of goofiness. I'm sure the goofy will return momentarily.

august95, you are indeed 95, and I am a WIZARD. And didn't you read my freakin' comment above, about how I want people to feel happy here? Not dorky or bad or awkward. We're all about the happy. (Just between you and me;)

Thanks!

Just doing my part to help you toward the 100 mark. This post was hilarious. I forwarded it to a friend who has spent her fair share of time in the stirrups, and she busted a gut laughing.

Thanks for the good humor.

I wanted to be commenter number 100, but I'll settle for 99...ooooohhh wait...

HAHA,
100!!!
Yeah baby!!
*confetti flying, bells ringing*

Thank you Susie for the great laugh. My entire family thought I was completely insane. I worked for an OB/GYN for 5 years and I've never had a story this funny happen..kinna glad too cause gosh I'd hate to laugh in someone's face in such a delicate situation.
Good to see your booty-flies go along with your booty-licious behind. (as you mentioned in one of your earlier posts...lol) Thanks again!

ONE HUNDR - aww, crap, too late.

So, Ms. Three Digits ... what have you done for us lately ...?

thank you, sharkey and kimmyk (you get the balloons!), you're very kind... sharkey, you make me want ice cream...

nilbo, HERE'S a digit for ya... just the one...

dooce probably didn't have the hook-up that I had; Nilbo left my link in Rosie's comments.

Really?! Hmm. Hey there, nilbo, how *you* doin...

SUSIETOO! 104 comments?! (Oops, now 105.) You rock ... you totally and completely rock!

CK, be careful what you wish for...

spoonie, the booty, the flies or the eyes? They're all in separate albums...

julie, you do realize that a lot of the traffic is papparazzi, on account of the famous chick, right? But thank you, anyway:) And I do realize that papparazzi is probably misspelled.

No problemo... I just went ahead and signed up to Rosie's site myself... you know, eliminating the middle 'person' and all that.

Next, I wish for WORLD PEACE -- beginning in our home amongst the little clowns. :)

I'm 108. The 108 the last cookie.

BAHAHAHAHAH!!! sorry long day.

dominus cigarahavanus

http://www.urbanhonking.com/ultimateblogger/

Susie, I think you should throw your hat or bra; whatever it is you do when you join a challenge.

Susie, I know you got a lot of comments because Rosie commented, which is really cool. But this is such a funny, well-told story. You'd still have gotten plenty of comments anyway. :-)

ck, I like a woman who goes after what she wants. I HEAR YOU ROAR. I think greenie and dc are in charge of world peace...

It's my party, I shoulda been the 108 the last delicious cookie;)

greenie, you and your urban honker...I appreciate the vote of confidence, but that looks like "blog survivor," don't think it's for me...

squirl, thank you, you bushy-tailed varmint; there's "plenty" which is what I think I normally get, and then there's over 100...(giggle)

I'mnot a middle-man, thank you very much. I much prefer the ends ...

And I agree with Squirlgrl ...

Oh! AND ... don't be warnin' women away from flirting with me, dammit. It's rare enough ...

First???!!! Am I first?

sheesh, I can't please all of you people! somebody, flirt with nilbo...

misfit. Made. Me. Laugh. Thank you for that. You are totally first. I said so. And it's my house.

(sigh) I've sunk so low Susie actually has to pimp my flirts ...

OK, nilbo, you get extra credit on your permanent record for the phrase "pimp my flirts." I think that's a show on MTV.

So does that mean D.C. and I are clowns???

D.C. you readin what i'm readin? sheeeit....LOL!!!

no, no, no, greenie! Unless you want to be. CK's children are clowns, but they are a warring faction of clowns. She seeks peace. I'm pimping you and dc out as peacekeepers! Cheez whiz, it's hard to be me this week!

It totally could be an MTV show. Dibs on Ryan Seacrest to host ...

Though the make up in my pic may fool you, I'm no clown. I'm the Phantom of the Blogoshere. Muhahahahahahahahaha.

dc (drinkin' cognac)

(dang cold trips on his cape as he exits - ooof!!)

Susie! 117? There may be more by the time I read them, and now posting. Holy Cow! I agree with the person that said this post is hysterical as it is, and even if Ro didnt come by you STILL would have got many, many, many comments. I think it was Squirl. You DO have a talent. In more ways than one. You Go Girl!!

That had to be the best story I have read so far, I can't stop laughing every time I think of it. You have talent young lady! Thanks so much!

lawbrat, you knew me when. And you and the 4 or 6 others who always hang out with me, will know me again, next week (or tomorrow), when the circus leaves town. (But not Circus Kelli. She stays.)

donnajo, that's very kind of you. thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed, and I like your name. You might be a Southern girl, too...

oh, dang, let me help you up, honey, and dust off your cape...

debt collector

This is the place to be today.

And I was totally rollin' when Nilbo said "pimp my flirts".

Dang! *snicker* Jeez... *giggle* you ok, man? *snork* What? Me? *smirk* No! I would never laugh at you!

BWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

New Blog Title: Flirt Pimping

omg SUSIE! NNNNNNNYYYYYCE! Got the Rosie to post!?!? tre cool - and man, milk it all the way to Jersey, girl!

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. That was the most hysterical story I've ever heard! I loved it! I had to read it out loud to my boyfriend when he wondered why I was laughing so hysterically - then HE was laughing hysterically. Thank you! :)

you crackin' me up, girl. but then, you always do. :D

Crap, no wonder Rosie commented -- that was funny! Stop being funny because if I link to you three times in 3 weeks it will seem, er, odd.

This is funny. I trhink you are funnier than rosie. More like Ellen. I like Ellen so I will say you are more like her. *s*

I don't know why I am adding my comment to what appears to be a growing small African nation but I am bcs I cannot NOT tell you - and what a shocker this will be to you - how brilliant this post was.

Now I'll read on and hope for more.

(Forgot to add, found you via Lala)

(Bloody hell, will I now have to go see who Hilarious Rosie is? Yes.

I know I'm hogging. Blame Lala. She's Canadian.)

(Oh. OH. That Rosie. Another blog to read. Because I don't have enough of those. Damn The Rosie! Suzie, I blame you.)

Too funny...luckily me kids are out laughing at the tv so they didn't come to see what I was laughing at. "Booty flies"...thats going to become a part of my vocabulary.

You should have put a warning for mothers. May cause you to lose your bladder!

Cori sent me over to read this, and I'm so glad she did. What a great story!! I can only imagine the terror of those few moments!

I was sent here by Tinkamarink and I'm so glad - I needed a laugh this morning. This is absolutely hilarious - thanks so much for sharing. You had so many comments I almost didn't comment but I couldn't resist. Thanks again!

Ok, so I'm really late in reading this one and responding ... I know you read about "the deadline" over on my blog, so you know I've been swamped lately!

Anyway, HILARIOUS! Good Lord ... the booty flies ... I think I'm going to use that line on "the ladies". It can't fail. I can pretend I'm mediterranean with a thick accent ... and just lay the "you have booty flies" line right on'em. Oh, I can't wait!

That you for that ten-minute laugh. I need that. I think I just sprained my ankle.

Sque sent me here. I loved your story! Soooo funny!
Lois Lane

Oh My God. I've been sent here by two different people now and boy am I glad I came.

I thought I had a great OBGYN...

That is the funniest story I have heard in the longest time. I'm crying because I'm laughing so hard.
I have never been to your blogsite before but a blog friend of mine happened upon your blog and she sent me here. I'm so glad that she did!

Be sure to take care of those Booty Flies! :o)

I was sent here--and I am happy I came...no pun intended!!!!! seriously, no pun intendeded!!!!

Very very funny story. :)

Heee! That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Maybe ever. Found you through a link in the comments at So The Fish Said.