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Saturday, April 16, 2005

Choosing Sides, Every Day

If you visit here regularly or even semi-regularly, and if you've let me know who you are, you're on the first team, described here. I am so tickled at the smart, kind, funny people that have wandered in here. The first part's for you. The second part, well, I don't really know who it's for, because they won't say who they are. If you come here very often, you'll know this is not a ranting, complaining blog (aside from the occasional, "I'm Just Sayin'..." post). Not that I have anything against that -- if it's your blog you can say whatever you want. I even read some of those kind of blogs, they make me laugh or make me think. But that's not my strong suit, not my temperament, as those of you who've gotten to "know" me know. However, feeling just a little "ranty" this morning. Bear with me, or if you don't wanna hear it, git outta here, go have a fun Saturday, and come back and see me next week ;)

Do you ever wake up in the morning, and feel thankful for the day? And resolve that today, I'm going to do something that makes the world just a tiny bit better? Decide that today I'm going to encourage someone, compliment someone, praise someone, give someone the benefit of the doubt, smile at someone who's not smiling, laugh at myself, make someone laugh? Ever think that, today, wherever I go, I want to leave that place a little brighter for my having been there? Think that, today, I'm going to be mindful that life is pretty difficult a lot of the time for most people, and that if we can find a place to go, a thing to do, that makes it a bit more manageable, gives us a bit of a break, lets us rant or be goofy or sentimental or childish for a few minutes, that would be a good place to go, and a good thing to do, and we should keep it a welcoming, nonjudging kind of place?

You ever do that? Yea, me too.

How about this one. Do you ever wake up in the morning and not feel particularly benevolent toward anyone at all? Ever wake up and resolve that, today I will give my negative opinion to someone who didn't ask for it? Decide that, today, I will see if I can hurt someone's feelings, discourage someone, wipe the smile off someone's face? Ever think, EVERYTHING anyone is doing is MY business, and it is my job to tell them what they ought to do, and how they ought to do it? Ever think, I will be unkind to someone today, maybe even a stranger, and I've discovered a way that I can do it ANONYMOUSLY, so I don't have to be accountable, don't have to accept any responsibility for my actions? Ever think, today, I will be a spreader of poison, in person, or on someone's blog, or in an email?

You ever do that? Nah. Me neither.

27 heads are better than one . . .

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Susie- I really dont know what to say. What I do know: You are such a beautiful person, loving, kind, non-judgmental, and I could go on forever. Next, you extend your heart, and I love that about you. This post says so much about you. The first 2 paragraphs are so beautiful, I was smiling as I was reading. I got to the third. Yes, I wake up and dont feel particularly benevolent toward anyone sometimes, so I thought..where is she going with this? Then I continued reading. Im so in the first group. Its sad that there are people like that in this world. Theres a difference between feeling some way and doing mean, hurtful things to another human being. I send you hugs and lots of love-

lawbrat

 
Blogger Greenthumb said...

(blink, blink, blink...stretches and yawns...shakes head vigorously)

Morning Big Sista', I got your messeage back at homo central. You nut job. (mwah)

So where's the coffee hidin'? I brought my own milk frother and mug. Let's all get cozy on the couch with blankets and pillows and chat and play footsies.

You have established yourself very quickly here darlin' and you are a blogstar now. You are bound to draw fire or lightening at some point. It's good that you handle yourself so well, but it could become difficult to ignore if some choose to persist.

I got a little testy once over at Dooce-land a little bit ago and it made me realize that I'm letting them affect the way I feel about what I do on here. For me, that just kinda soured my presence over there and I've chosen to vacate the premises for the most part.

Blogging is for ME first and foremost. If it turns out that what I've said or done has a positive impact for others then I'm certainly rewarded 2 fold. However, if I say something that offends, or if I post in the same way as another and get called a copy cat, I have said that you are allowed to say that here, but that you best be prepared to take any and all things said afterward.

I despise anonymous haters but the only thing we can do to block that kind of attention is to turn off our comments and that's not acceptable for me at this time. And so, we do what we do best in these situations, we put our best foot forward, because you can't debate with haters.

Just know that when we look at your blog, we don't see a dooceling wannabe, we see a snapshot into Susie's World. You are anything but Heather Armstrong. We come here, because we know that we are getting quality entertainment filled with brilliance and charm.

You know I got your back so you just keep doin' yo thang sista friend...Shake Wahtcha MOMMA gave you. oooohh yeaaaaah!

 
Blogger marybishop said...

Susie...Now and then I get a mean comment on my blog and ALWAYS it's penned by dear old anonymous.

How anyone could write one to YOU is beyond me as you radiate goodness and fairness in every post you write.

I'm not so good so I expect the barbs but you? I don't get it.

Want me to go beat them up? EX- street tough...MB

 
Blogger KC said...

I'm picturing you as Mary Tyler Moore on the Nicolette Mall in Minneapolis, throwing her hat in the air as someone sings "You're going to make it after all"

Ohh, it makes me all goosebumpy.

Seriously, it means you've made it as a blogger when people start spewing their hate. Just remember - it's "their" hate. They own it. You don't have to take it from them, just because they try to give it to you.

I heart you Susie - and so do sooo many others :)

 
Blogger Susie said...

uhohnowlook! Y'all may have created a monster. I put this up hoping to maybe shame someone just a little bit into being a decent blogperson. Instead I get tremendously decent blogpersons telling me nice things. I think I'll do a post like this once a week or so, just for the strokin'! (That would get old, huh?)

lawbrat, you are SO in the first group. The end of your comment is, to my mind, the essence of maturity -- knowing the difference between feeling like doing something (saying something), and doing or saying it. Grownups don't get to act on every damn thought that comes into our heads, say every thing that comes to mind. Not if we want to be in the company of decent, honorable people. We need to ask ourselves, "What is my intention in doing this?" before we do something, and EDIT ourselves if it is not honorable. But I'm preaching to the choir. You are lovely and dear. I'll stop before the blog turns to mush. THANK YOU, from my heart.

greenie, my brutha. Such a heart you have. And such wisdom. I SO want you at my pajama party. I agree with you about not letting haters change who we are. Funny thing, I almost didn't allow comments on my blog. For a few reasons: I didn't imagine I would GET any. I wanted to blog because, while I love writing, I had gotten lazy about it, hardly ever doing it anymore, and I thought this format would encourage me, which it absolutely has. I had NO IDEA how much fun it would be to get comments, but more importantly, what lovely people would cross my path, just by having comments open. You're right. I don't want to give that up. You have the gift of ENCOURAGEMENT, my friend. I have received that gift numerous times from you. AND, interesting that you should end your comment with the "shake what your momma gave you" thing. Because, greenie, tomorrow I shall post a scripture verse, as has become my custom, and one day next week, I shall publish a post that I have already begun, a post about MY ASS!!!!

marybishop, YOU are an opinionated BEE-YOTCH, which is why I like to come and "read" you. But, in all seriousness, if you write a critical post, it is criticism of a public figure, a politician or someone whose actions have gained them some measure of fame or infamy. It's not another blogger. And if you criticize someone, you do it openly, and sign your name, or at least your ALIAS, but you give a format for them to talk back directly to you. Like a person of character would do. You would never criticize someone anonymously on their own blog. Because you have courage and integrity. Two more reasons why I like to visit you. And yes, I will avail myself of your professional ass-kicking services. Wait, that's not right. I don't want MY ass kicked; I would recruit you to kick SOMEONE ELSE'S ass on my behalf. Yea, that's it.

KC, you are clearly a brilliant woman. Thank you for that reminder, that I don't have to accept something just because someone feels like giving it to me. Most of the time I know that very well, but I forgot there for a moment. Hearting you right back. Now if you'll pardon me, I'm going to go get a hat to put on my head, then throw in the air:)

 
Blogger Torrie said...

This just means that you are doing well. There's always criticism, that stems from jelousy.
The negative comments will make you appreciate the positive comments even more.

I'm in a "look on the bright side" mood. VERY unusual.

Oh, and I like you.

 
Blogger marybishop said...

Susie says: YOU are an opinionated BEE-YOTCH, which is why I like to come and "read" you..
--
Yes I am and you like me anyhow! (Laughing and head nodding...)

---

I've been wanting to tell you this so I will. I have wanted to blogroll you from the first time I read the Gumby post but didn't want to embarrass you or your readers by doing so.

I consider you a special person in the land of Blog and appreciate your tolerance and acceptance of my intolerance!

 
Blogger Susie said...

mb, I gotta get outta blogworld and be with some "live" people, but real quick -- I wish I were talking to you on the telephone right now. I was over leaving comments at your place while you were commenting here. Blogger froze me out on the most recent post, though. Anyway, I don't know much about blogrolling, linking and all. I've never even noticed your list. I would be honored to be blogrolled by you. I am not CERTAIN, but I THINK I know what you mean by embarrassing me or my readers, etc. I think "my readers" will ultimately end up being people sort of like me -- hard to put in a box, not created by a cookie cutter. I am unabashedly Christian. And I may someday write the essay in my head entitled "Jesus Doesn't Give a Rat's Ass if I Say, 'Fuck.'" Maybe those two sentences are explanation enough. The first will scare off some who are not "believers" and look down upon those who are. The second will scare off "believers" who think that I'm a big ol' unrepentant sinner. I yam what I yam. And have no problem celebrating that anyone else iz who they iz. (Unless they iz an asshole, but I've already addressed that here today.) I appreciate those who will not be easily labelled and kept in a box. I love the post about your family, for that reason, even though blogger wouldn't let me say so there.
So, "special" and "appreciate" right back atcha.

 
Blogger Andrea said...

Susie: you reflect light. And darkness does not recognize the light, and even tries to overcome it. You know what I'm sayin'. So it's only natural that you would get trolls. Not fun or fair, but also not surprising.

You are one fun chick in the blogworld, and even though you use words I usually don't (what if my DAD managed to stumble on my blog????), I know you reflect light. 'Nuff said.

 
Blogger Nilbo said...

I say let the haters hate. Their words sting, sometimes - especially when we know they're circling in on the truth. But in the end, they diminish themselves by doing it, and the more we can do to encourage that, the better we are.

Getting rid of Anonymous postings is easy - a click or three. And sometimes, the haters trail love behind them like a comet's tail - all those friends of yours who can't abide someone spewing poison at you.

This is a wonderful, creative, fun, and funny little corner of the net. If they can't see that ... who is diminished ...?

 
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

I just don't understand the minds of some people. I cannot think why somebody would be negative to you. I am sending you heart-felt good vibes to help neutralize those unkind words. I cannot thank you enough for the understanding and support you have shown me during this weird and wonky time in my life. Only somebody who has an open heart and caring spirit could be so generous to a stranger she finds on the internet. This stranger is most grateful. Just know that the good things you contribute to 'the internet at large' are greatly appreciated.

 
Blogger SierraBella said...

Susie- I'm so sorry to see this happen to you.
I went anonymous, only once on Greenie's site and that was because I had an exremely personal tale to relate. It was in no way derogatory, just personal. After all, who doesn't love Greenie.
Hope all the love we're sending your way helps to soften the blow!

 
Blogger _Summer_ said...

Susie, just two quick words: you rock.

 
Blogger dashababy said...

Ya cant please everybody. I think Abe Lincoln said that. lol. hell I dont know.
You got more people that love you than hate you, that is clearly evident and one of is me. I love reading your blog but I musta missed the negative anonymous comment. One of the things that is so endearing about you is, that you comment back, unlike alot of bloggers/lurkers. Thank you. xoxox
and thanks for not being one of those cookie cutter christians. Yer keepin real girlfriend!

 
Blogger Susie said...

torrie, I know that you hate pretty much everything, so your kind words mean a lot;) You're probably too young to remember this, but I'm reminded of "Mikie," who wouldn't like Life cereal, but then, "HE LIKES IT! Hey, Mikie!" Yea, I'm old, but it was cute, and you remind me of it.

andrea, that is such a lovely thing to say to me. Those verses are very meaningful to me, so it really does touch me that you chose that reference. I appreciate your sticking around, even though I use words that you don't;)

nilbo, I haven't encountered a hater who was getting anywhere close to the truth, but perhaps your experience has been different. There were some disconcerting things in various places yesterday, here, in dooceville, in my email and on others' blogs. Disconcerting in part because the "haters" I saw yesterday were especially articulate, which is unusual in my (admittedly very limited) experience. Individual nastiness doesn't phase me so much, the love really does overpower it quite easily. I did feel like saying something about what appeared to be a trend, a new hobby for someone. Glad you enjoy my little corner.

krankipantzen, you know how special I think you are. Thank you for your encouragement and your compliments. AND your crazy name that always makes me smile:)

sierrabella, thank you. It's not the "anon" that's a problem; I post here and there under all sorts of wacky names -- when I'm being a joker, but not a hater -- and always with a real email address so someone could get to me if they didn't get the joke. There are lots of valid reasons for going "anon." It's just the drive-by shooting brand of spewing hate anonymously that saddens me. Which, of course, you don't do. And yes, love helps. My goodness, it helps. I no longer feel like "pulling the plug," on this thing, like I did last night. Since it's a love fest in here, I'll just say again, how much your blog is like going on vacation. I love to visit you.

Summer, when someone who is obviously a rock star in her profile pic tells me that I rock, I'm gonna go ahead and believe it:) Thank you, I'm so glad to have met you.

dashababy, how did you get your name? I do like to talk back. Used to get me in trouble, now not so much. It might be the Southern girl in me; it doesn't seem right to have visitors in your home and not speak to them. My mama wouldn't like that. I love to have parties, talk to people one on one, but I hate to clean my house. I think that's why I've taken to this so much -- it's a way to have a party without doing too much cleaning. Xs and Os backatcha. No cookie cutters here. Cookie eating, though;) Thanks for being so sweet to me.

 
Blogger dashababy said...

Its my dogs name. hehe. Dasha, but I call her Dashababy all the time. I'll need some serious medication when this dog ever leaves this earth. I love her way too much. She doesnt eat off my plate or anything, well at least not when I am looking. But shes pretty spoiled.

 
Blogger Susie said...

oh, then you're dashababymama! LOL. I'll have to come over some time and see pictures of her. I love dogs, except for this Very Bad one we have now;)

 
Anonymous LadyBug said...

Susie, I was away from the computer all day yesterday, until late yesterday evening; so I have no idea what I missed. It sounds like things got ugly somewhere, perhaps at the Dooce comments; but I can't be sure, since she pulled 'em down. (If you want to share the details, you have my email address.)

Anyway, I've been around since the first time you were trolled on your blog; and I believe I mentioned then how I am continually amazed at the things people will do and say, under the cloak of anonymity the internet provides. I also remember being impressed with the way you handled yourself in dealing with the troll, offering nothing but kindness in return for the hate.

And kindness is what you're all about, Susie. If I had to use one word to describe what I know of you, it would be "kind."

I don't know why someone would choose to repay kindness with hate. I DO know how hard it is to ignore some hateful remarks, even when they are overshadowed by positive ones. Just know that we all love you, in that platonic, internet way, and that we'll always come back to read your words and smile at your stories.

Thanks for giving so much of yourself to others.

May God bless you, Susie.

 
Blogger Susie said...

ladybug, thank you, darlin'. I'm always trying (and usually failing) to be as fruity (Gal. 5:22-23) as I possibly can, so I appreciate you calling me "kind." That first troll you recalled here called me "dim-witted." No offense to trolls, but I prefer "kind" to "dim-witted." I'm feeling very goofy this morning. Thank you for your love and encouragement. I will email you some of the lowlights of the other day, don't wanna keep it going here. I almost wish I hadn't opened up comments on this post, I just wanted to send a message to someone or sometwo, saying, "Come on, don't be like that." But of course, it was the lovely people who responded, the people who leave their names, etc. I really wasn't on a love-fishing expedition, but I must admit, it did not feel bad to get me some:)

 
Blogger Squirl said...

Susie, I've been busy with relatives this weekend and didn't get back here until now. Oh, why don't trolls go mind their own business? I love your site. Even if you did decide to drop comments I'd still read it. Hang in there. You know there are waaayyy more people who love your stories than don't.

 
Blogger Susie said...

squirl, thank you for that. I'm always happy to see you here, and happy to visit your site, too, as you can tell.

 
Anonymous LadyBug said...

Yeah, Susie, I always feel better after I "get me some", too.

*Groan*

Sorry 'bout that. I could. not. resist. My brain is verrrrry tired, and I'm feeling a little slap-happy this morning.

 
Blogger Susie said...

oh, ladybug, don't we all?

 
Blogger Homestead said...

Ok, I've been away from the computer for a few days (gasp. I know, but I was filling my "closet" and cutting pussy willows and playing in the creek all weekend) so I have NO IDEA what drama I missed.

Cluelessness does not prevent me from commenting, however, so fill me in on the juicy gossip and know that I personally get MUCH AMUSEMENT from your site.

Oh, and I can't WAIT to read your post about your ass... we should all spend more time celebrating the gloriousness that is our ass....

 
Blogger WILLIAM said...

What an absolutely wonderful post. I stumble in here from time to time and plan on making it a regular visit. What an inspiring thought.

 
Blogger this.is.damon said...

Very Cool. I'm really enjoying your blog ... I need to make this one to check back in on daily. OOOOO, the pressure! Now you're forced to come up with entertaining blogetry all the time for my enjoyment :)

 
Blogger Hippo said...

Susie,

I'm bored, I'm procrastinating but I'm thinking, yes I may be nuts and harmless but posts like this is truly why I love this blog!

I need to be reminded of these things in my life and you have a way of putting it forth and laying it out...the what matters shit.

This I will leave to you and out of my Hipreudian Psychology practice.

Dr. H.O. Potamus

 


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