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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

If I Had a Hammer . . .

Greenie tagged me, with this "Yes, I would, if I only could..." meme tag thing. From this list of possible vocations, I must choose 5 and complete the thought, "If I could be . . ."

Then I must tag 3 other people who don't know what they want to be when they grow up.

Here goes:

If I could be an INNKEEPER, I would keep a magic inn, where each guest would feel at home when they stayed with us. The home of their best fantasies, whether or not they've ever felt that "at home" anywhere before.

If I could be a LIBRARIAN, I would be a national champion Captain of the Book Cart Precision Drill Team Olympics. Roll with it, baby . . .

If I could be a MISSIONARY, I would be "Christian Bitch," the rock star of missionaries. And I would officially adopt a new position.




"Christian Bitch," Rock Star Missionary

If I could be a WRITER, I would write a book that would make people smile, and think, and want to do better. And my great-grandchildren would treasure my book so much that they would fight over it. But then they would JUST STOP THAT RIGHT THIS MINUTE! Because Great-Grandma Susie didn't like fighting.

If I could be a bonnie PIRATE, I would sail the Seven Seas in the company of Johnny Depp as Jack, and confirm his "status" once and for all. Together we would embark on a worldwide booty quest (we already have the worldwide booty).

These are the other career possibilities from which to choose:

If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a musician
If I could be a doctor
If I could be a painter
If I could be a gardener
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect
If I could be a linguist
If I could be a psychologist
If I could be an athlete
If I could be a lawyer
If I could be a professor
If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be an astronaut
If I could be a world famous blogger
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world
If I could be married to any current famous political figure

OK, I will pass this fascinating exercise on to:

Circus Kelli, Nic, and Kranki, because they are brilliant and stunningly beautiful, and can surely be anydarnthing they wanna be (how they gonna say "no" after that?)

file under: &Memes

37 heads are better than one . . .

Anonymous lawbrat said...

FIRST!! lol. I'm liking the picture. I didnt know it was self portrait day though. I missed it again this week. :-)

 
Anonymous lawbrat said...

When I left that comment, only the picture was up. Then it was gone. Then nothing. Then, and whole new post, with the picture incorporated in it. So, the previous comment dosent really make any sense.

Good Morning!

 
Blogger Susie said...

lawbrat, good morning to you! It makes perfect sense to ME! The pic got stuck on here for a few minutes last night, and with your lightening fast fingers and wit, you got in there before I moved it into the post. There. That's my story and I'm sticking to it:)

 
Blogger Nic said...

BWAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHA-HAHA-HA! HA! Stunningly beautiful - HAHAHAHA! Me? HAHA! Wow! That's a doozer of a long tag. I will do my bestest to make you proud. *SNIFF*.

 
Blogger Nic said...

Oh, and bless you for thinking of me and having such kind things to say, even if it was a suck-up to get me to do this meme! It made my morning. :)

 
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Hmmm... you know, Susie, you didn't have to kiss up to me in order to get me to do this. All you had to do was ask.

Those words sure were nice to read this morning, though. :)

Thank you, Susie, for tagging me, and being all sweet about it at the same time.

 
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie, Susie, Susie, you are soooo my favorite Christian Bitch Rockstar Missionary in the whole world!

Maybe you should put "Christian Bitch" on your business cards? You'd surely get my bizness...

 
Blogger Jomama said...

Hey Susie! Thanks for not tagging me. I was afraid you were going to get me back for the turd thing. It would have taken forever to think of something for those things. We can't all be as clever and creative as you :)

 
Anonymous katie said...

Oh how i love those thinggies ... *winks* .... loving ur blog by the way... blogrolled you!

 
Blogger Susie said...

nic and CK, I am being 100% sincere. Even though I have never seen CK (I don't think), I am certain that I would find you both gorgeous; and you are clearly brilliant. Again, I am sticking to my story.

Aw, shucks, Bucky, I'll bet you say that to all the Christian bitch rock star missionaries;)

rina bee, oh, honey. You are unaware of the depths of my depravity. You will be paid back. But when you least expect it. And with a much more difficult tag than this one. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAA...
Your new profile pic is adorable, btw.

Katie, welcome, and THANK YOU for that! :)

 
Blogger Nic said...

I did my part and did you proud, well, at least semi-proud, I think. Is that like a semi-hardon? Pretty much worthless! Hee!

 
Blogger Greenthumb said...

Oh you make me so proud you clever christian bitch. When you and Jack sail off for the great booty quest, I'll just have to tag along as Captain Jack's Cabin Boy. *wink*

 
Blogger Closet Metro said...

Good answers, gorgeous portrait!

 
Blogger marybishop said...

If I could be a WRITER, I would write a book that would make people smile, and think, and want to do better...says Susie.

Mary says: You Susie, ARE a writer so go write that book! (Providing, of course, you will continue to blog you head off also.)

 
Blogger EmailHosting.com said...

Great picture mate! Excellent blog!

 
Blogger Susie said...

nic, excellent work; let's not bring up semi-erections, shall we? Or maybe we should try ... don't confuse me, nic, I'm trying to run a respectable blog here...

greenbeard, the booty boy, BACKOFF JACK!!!! (say that 5 times fast)
And go help Bucky.

closet metro, thank you, and it is just a lit-tle bit frightening how accurate that portrait is, now that I look at it....

MB, some kind person sent me an email today that I should publish my blog as is. THAT, I could do; beyond that, well, is beyond me, at least for now. But blogging is FUN.

you with the funny name, thank you for letting me know you stopped in. I enjoyed visiting you, too:)

 
Blogger _Summer_ said...

Argh, me hardies.

(Sorry, I like to speak in piratese occasionally.)

 
Blogger ieatcrayonz said...

It is beyond me why you are not a top five Google result for "Christian Bitch" by now.

 
Blogger Candace said...

I love you more each day, I really do!

But I thought we settled this Johnny Depp thing. I say he isn't gay, so that's that.

 
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Okee dokee, Shoosie -- my answers are up! I've tagged Cat, Dang Cold and Spurious Plum. They haven't been tagged already, have they?

Oh Susie, you're a doll. And it's better if you don't see me. I *am* gorgeous. Even more so when it's dark. :)

On the pirate speak: Have you seen that commercial (is it for FedEx?) where there is a guy hiring a pirate for a job? All the pirate says is ARRRRGGH! I don't know why, but it cracks me up every time. And then I think of that punchline "Aaarrrgghh. Drives me nuts!"

 
Blogger laurenbove said...

Hey Chica: I think I did the same meme on my page. I love your selections tho...not to mention your South Parkian cartoon. Nice.

Summer: You continue to slay me! ARg...arg...arg....

 
Anonymous Old Horsetail Snake said...

With this kind of stuff you be world famous blogger any minute.

 
Blogger Kitty said...

Rosie- don't hold the SP pic against Soooze... she doesn't know that high profile celeb's don't dig on the animated competition. it's all good.

sorry for trying to schmooze baby!

 
Blogger Kitty said...

Cool as all get go post by the way :-)

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to stay at your Inn, where Johnny Depp tucks me in at night, and Sean Connery sneaks into the room shortly after.

Hey, you said it could be the home of my fantasies!

gina
http://findingmygroove.blog-city.com

 
Blogger Redhead Mommy said...

An especially lovely self portrait!

 
Blogger Susie said...

summer, it is such a beautiful tongue . . . language, that is . . . and a big AARRRGGARRRARRR to you, my dear:)

robyn, I checked, and I was #10 with a bullet! There must be a lot of Christian bitches on the web . . .

misfit, you make me smile. Yes, let us make the announcement again:
JOHNNY DEPP IS SO NOT GAY.

CK, I know you're darkly gorgeous and all, and maybe they let you pull that crap in the circus, but you can't come around here giving a "punchline" without the joke! What?

laurenbove, I saw your post; I have to come back and comment. The beautiful, BEAUTIFUL photograph took my breath away and scrambled my brain there for a moment:)

old horsetail snake, heehee, I'm adding that to my list of things that "could happen any minute now..." WAIT! That's my doorbell, I'll be it's Ed McMahon!...

kitty, I LOVE your dreds. I spent way too long on your comment trying to figure out how I've offended Rosie; I mean, everybody else emails me about how I've offended them, but Rosie hasn't said a word...HA, I get it now... silly me ;)

gina, your reservation is secured. However, Sean Connery and I are no longer on speaking terms. I will find you someone even more appealing and with a better accent, to tuck you in:)

redhead mommy, thank you. I don't watch South Park, but I did become very covetous of the cute little folk that these people were sporting in their profile pix. If you want to make one for yourself (I've made my whole family!), go here.

 
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Here's the joke:

Why did the pirate have a steering wheel in his pants?

 
Blogger Susie said...

CK, ARRGGHHARRARRGH!

 
Blogger Dang Cold.. said...

ARRRRGH!! This chair be high says I!!!

dc - da captain

 
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Hey! Da Captain! Got any Coca-cola?
THEN, I could be hanging out with Captain and Coke!

Ahem, sorry...

 
Blogger Susie said...

drunken captain, git down from there! And fetch CK a Diet Coke! (NOT that you need "diet," CK, just rockin' the dc thang, you understand...)

 
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

I understand, Soos... ;)

Hugs to you! Have a great day!

 
Blogger ieatcrayonz said...

Arggh, it drives me nuts.

 
Blogger spoonleg said...

Christian Bitch Rockstar Missionary in da hizzouse!

 
Blogger tinkamarink said...

I just did this meme and had a lot of fun with it. I'm surprised at how much you can learn about someone by reading one of these even if you are just joking your way through it.

 
Blogger Kristin said...

I truly love your blog...your wit and intelligence really shines through.

 


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