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Friday, May 06, 2005

Biscuit Friday ~ Twisted Biscuit

"Biscuit's on the Twister mat with muddy feet!"

Biscuit goes nuts when we play Twister. I don't know if he loves it or hates it, but he desperately wants to spin the spinner, and if he's allowed, he pounces on it like a dog on a ... a Twister spinner. His paws ... paw it madly, like he's digging a hole in it. Since it's the Deluxe Anniversary Edition, the spinner is made of platinum (or maybe it's tin, but at least it's not cardboard, it's some sort of Biscuit-proof metal).

Twister always makes me think of the time my little brother, Joey, got thrown out of second grade. It was the early '70s. I knew (and God help me, I still have retained) every sit-com theme song and commercial jingle on every TV channel. At the time we had three. Four if we could position the rabbit ears, wire hanger and/or aluminum foil in such a way as to get UHF.

Because I was six years older, I took a lot of responsibility for educating my little brother. Especially in the area of sit-com theme songs and commercial jingles. We could practice them in my state-of-the-art Sharp battery-operated cassette recorder.

Milton Bradley's got a hot one,
It's a Twister!
Spin the spinner and call the shots
Twister ties you up in a knot!
Get Twister-er-er,
Yea, Twister!

Twister was a fun one to sing. Over and over. (Almost as much fun as the theme from Green Acres, which I used to sing loudly to Jif in bed every night, until I had to get counseling for that and we entered into a therapeutic contract saying I would no longer sing old sit-com theme songs in bed, but I digress . . . ) My little brother really got into the Twister one, except that he mainly stuck to the first two lines.

Then Joey went to second grade. And he found himself in Mrs. Bradley's class. "Mrs. Bradley" sounds an awful lot like "Milton Bradley." In the morning, when everyone lined up to go inside the building, and Mrs. Bradley walked back and forth Shhh!ing everyone (because everyone knows you can't walk into a building and talk at the same time), my brother's 6-year-old voice rang out:

Mrs. Bradley's got a hot one!
It's a Twister!
Mrs. Bradley's got a hot one!
It's a Twister!

The first time this song was heard, all the other children laughed and Mrs. Bradley turned bright red. And of course, that was enough to ensure that NO WAY my little brother could stop singing it. He sang it as he was hauled off to Mr. Pisante's (Piss-anty) office by his ear. He sang it in the car on the way home after Mom came to pick him up. I imagine he still sings it. I'm sure he never got counseling for it.

Oh, in case you ever attended Middletown Elementary School, and you always wondered -- THAT is how "ol' Twister Bradley" got her name.

file under: &Biscuit &Family &Can't Make This Stuff Up

48 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger Spurious Plum said...

Susie, thanks for the awesome mental picture of Biscut spinning a twister spinner.

When will only the Deluxe Anniversary Edition of Twister do?When Mr. Biscut Pants is playing, cause he deserves the very best.

Blogger WILLIAM said...

What a funny story. Mrs. Bradley's hot twister has many different interpretations.

Blogger Mamaramma said...

I wonder if Ms. Bradley went home that afternoon with a renewed sense of self-confidence thinking, "I've got a hot one? It's a twister... I've got a hot one! It's a twister!" It's like the "There goes a pretty lady!" story. See where LG gets it from?

Anonymous lawbrat said...

That is too too too funny. Having a 6 year old, I can totally relate. Laugh at a 6 year old, and it keeps the fun alive. You taught him that Susie, you bad, bad girl :-)
Good thing therapy works. Unless you were singing....Jifs got a hot one, its a twister...

Blogger Susie said...

Plum, it truly is hi-larious, what that ferocious beast does to the spinner:)

william, I think the other kids were laughing at the "naughty" possibilities, and that's what horrified Mrs. B., but I'm quite sure that went right over my brother's head at the time, he was clueless!

mamaramma, you're right, this "commenting on parts" is a curse! Mrs. B. could have chosen to see it as affirmation of her charms, but nooooooo...

lawbrat! there you go giving me ideas... twister, hmmm...

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Loophole! Loophole!
Do you get to sing NEW sitcom theme songs? ;) They're just not as fun, though, are they? :)

My cousins had Twister, but no one ever wanted to play it.

I'll bet Biscuit playing Twister is funny... and I'll bet Mrs. Bradley never forgot your little brother Joey... hmmm... Greenie maybe? :)

Blogger Susie said...

CK, you have hit upon a sad fact of modern life -- there are no sit-com songs worth singing. No one is "movin' on up!" No one is "bringing up three very lovely girls." Most of them are instrumental, now. And even the commercials are more talking, less singing, I think. Back in my day . . .

Blogger ieatcrayonz said...

I think Biscuit should have his own Twister version with paw prints instead of circles. There's no way he can win, I mean just look at the picture! I'm campaigning for equal Biscuit Twister rights for all of our four legged friends.

Ole' Twister Bradley, she's a hot one. I think that would be a great theme song for the weather stations in Oklahoma.

Yes, I'm a freak today. It's Friday and I'm counting down the 6 1/2 hours left until I can leave.

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Susie -- I used to have a 45 (that's a vinyl RECORD for you younger folks)of the Welcome Back Kotter and Happy Days theme songs.

I'm not sure why.

Blogger Cat said...

Heh. Hot Twister, baby.

Blogger Squirl said...

That's really funny. The bad thing about those old sitcom themes is when they stick in your head. Then there are themes within themes. Elly Mae from the Beverly Hillbillies had her own theme. Gilligan had his own theme. Granted, they were instrumental, but still as easy to get stuck in ones head. Twister!

Blogger Random and Odd said...

My teacher was named Dick Steele.

You don't want to know the song I would sing about him!

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Shlemeel, anyone?

Blogger Susie said...

robyn, the VBD just cheats anyway, whatever game we let him play. Happy Mother's Day!

CK, I loved my 45s. A couple of years ago we gave my MIL a record player for Christmas. She loves it.

cat, are you over here bragging?

squirl, you'd better do an audio post where you sing and hum those old theme songs!

kristine, get outta here! WHAT did Dick Steele teach, as if I couldn't guess. Didn't he go on to become a. . . ahem, "film star?"

Anonymous mrtl said...

I've got more themes in my head than I care to admit. Great story!

Do tell, does Biscuit enjoy Twister more than writing on the walls?

Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Naked Twister=Good.
Dog Twister=Just Wrong.
Twister while singing Brady Bunch theme=Even Wronger.

Blogger Susie said...

Oh my God, that made me laugh so hard this morning. Poor Mrs. Bradley. Wonder if they were talking about her "hot one" in the teacher's lounge? I sometimes still sing "Silver Spoons" and "Growing Pains" and "Love Boat" to my son. He can't talk yet to tell me to quit it.

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Silver Spoons -- those were the days -- back when Rick Shroeder was still Ricky Shroeder. :)

Susie (the other one) -- Punkin was just a sweet little 2-1/2 years old when she began telling me "No sing, Mom." She still doesn't like it when I sing in the car. ;)

Blogger Effie said...

Greeeeen Acres is the place for me,
Fa-arm livin' is the life fer me
Land stretchin' out from far and wide, take Manhattan and gimme that countryside!

Neeeew York is where I'd rather stay,
I get allergic smelling hay
I just adore a Penthouse view
Darlin' I love ya but give me Park Avenue....

Blogger Susie said...

mrtl, I think it's too bad that the useless crap in my head takes up space that would be better occupied by loftier thoughts, but "we're moving uup! to the east si i ide! to a de-luxe apartment in the sky-hihi!"

Bucky, nobody knows wronger like you, sir;)

alsoSusie, I remember the look my kid would give me, and I KNEW that as soon as she could speak, she would say, "Stop singing that! Are you nuts?"

effie, now you did it:
do doot do doot doot
The chores!
do doot do doot doot
The stores!
do doot do doot doot
Fresh air!
do doot do doot doot
Time Square!

You are my wife...
Goodbye, city life...

Blogger echrai said...

Not only did you bring up renditions of sitcoms dancing through my mind - everything from Bewitched to Webster and Facts of Life. *shudder*

That's the infamous Biscuit, huh? I'd call him Bisquick due to his coloring. :)

Love the story - reminds me of the trouble I always got into in school.

Blogger Effie said...

Green Acres we are theeeere!

Blogger Effie said...

Anybody know the Jenga theme song?

You take a block from the bottom and you put it on top
You take a block from the middle and you put it on top
Til someone knocks it all over and that's when you stop
But you start all over putting blocks on top
It teeters and it totters as you build it on up
It weebles and it wobbles but you don't give up
You take a block from the bottom and you put it on top.....

and the song goes on and on and on. Why do I have these jingles running through my head? Why oh why?

Blogger Susie said...

echrai, check out the VBD pic from April 22, if you didn't see it yet. There's lots more in the archives -- him with helium balloons tied to him, in formal attire, etc.

effie! I was hoping you'd "bring it on home!" for us! heeheeee I don't know the Jenga one, but now, thanks to that one, I have "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!"

Blogger Greenthumb said...

He writes on walls, wears costumes, plays Twister, Ladies and Gentlemen...it's Biscuit!!!

Sooo cute.

Blogger Effie said...

In my family we have a game that we play (well my brothers play it and I unknowingly lose all the time) someone will start a song or jingle and then stop singing half-way through a phrase or at least before it is finished. The person who finishes the song or jingle loses the game or "gets caught".
I seem to always be the unknowing one. And this game is never announced, just anytime during any day someone could sing something and stop. Laughter ensues...

it's like when someone sings: duh duh da duh duh, duh ____" and stops before dropping the last boot.

Blogger Closet Metro said...

Happy Friday, Biscuit. (and Susie too!)

Anonymous kalki said...

That is one adorable dog. He's a-dog-able. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

"Darling I love you but give me Park Avenue!"

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Scooby Scooby Doo
Where are you?
We need some help from you know

Scooby Scooby Doo
Where are you?
We've got some work to do now...

Blogger Nickle Annie said...

That's such a funny story! Thanks for sharing! LOL!

Blogger Dang Cold.. said...

I bet we been together for a million years,
And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, It's like I started breathing on the night we kissed,
And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do baby, Without Us?
What would we do baby, Without Us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do baby, Without Us?

Sha la la la.

Sit Biscuit sit. Good dog. WOOF!!


Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Believe it or not,
I'm walking on air.
I never thought I could feel so free-.
Flying away on a wing and a prayer.
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me.

Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

That's a terribly interesting picture to me. We had a dog that looked EXACTLY like yours. And yours is named Biscuit. Ours was Muffin. The fortune cookies work in mysterious ways....

Blogger Dang Cold.. said...

Good Times. Any time you meet a payment.
Good Times. Any time you need a friend.
Good Times. Any time you're out from under.

Not getting hastled, not getting hustled.
Keepin' your head above water, making a wave when you can.

Temporary lay offs. Good Times.
Easy credit rip offs. Good Times.
Scratchin' and surviving. Good Times.
Hangin in a chow line. Good Times.

Ain't we lucky we got 'em. Good Times.


Blogger Andrea said...

Boy, the way Glen Miller played. Songs that made the hit parade.
Guys like us, we had it made. Those were the days.
Didn't need no welfare state. Everybody pulled his weight.
Gee, our old LaSalle ran great. Those were the days.
And you know who you were then, girls were girls and men were men.
Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.
People seemed to be content. Fifty dollars paid the rent.
Freaks were in a circus tent. Those were the days.
Take a little Sunday spin, go to watch the Dodgers win.
Have yourself a dandy day that cost you under a fin.
Hair was short and skirts were long. Kate Smith really sold a song.
I don't know just what went wrong. Those Were The Days.

Blogger laurenbove said...

That's an awesome song. I can't stop singing it... and I don't even know Mrs. Bradley!

Blogger Robin said...

Another great story, told so very well!

Can Biscuit come over and play Twister with my dog Olive? Biscuit looks like such a nice dog...

Blogger Nic said...

Little late chiming in today. Been out of the house, but yeah, Biscut's a cutie pie. Love the Mrs. Bradley story. Was just too funny! Happy Mother's Day Early.

Blogger Nic said...

They’re creepy and they're kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They’re all together ooky,
The Addams Family.

Their house is a museum.
When people come to see 'em
They really are a screa-um.
The Addams Family.




So get a witch's shawl on.
A broomstick you can crawl on.
We're gonna pay a call on
The Addams Family.

Blogger Susie said...

greenie, he's pretty much a spoiled-rotten little monster, but LG loves him, so what can we do?

Happy Friday to Jack and you, Closet Metro!

kalki, he is purty cute; that's why he's still alive...

CK, as I always say, "Ruh roh!"

nickel annie, welcome, thank you for stopping by; glad to give you a chuckle:)

dang cold, you have no idea how much I love a man who knows his sit-com songs.
deeply cherished

old horsetail snake, this mutt is mostly cockapoo, but we think something else, too; some terrier in there somewhere. Wonder why we named them after simple carbohydrates?

andrea, thank you for that; some of those lines I had never understood!

laurenbove, it does stick with ya, doesn't it?

robin, Olive, the other reindeer? Biscuit would love a play date; he doesn't have many dog friends:(

nic, most excellent theme song; Happy Mother's Day to you:)

Blogger No_Newz said...

That was classic! Your dog, your brother and Mrs. Bradley, I loved it all!
Lois Lane
P.S. thank you for the kind words today.

Blogger Ern said...

I have had some great sing-alongs with my dorky friends (almost as dorky as I am!) where we just sing TV theme song after TV theme song. I think on a particular church trip in high school that we "kids" embarrassed the adults!

How about:
Life is like a hurricane
Here in Duckberg
Racecars lasers aeroplanes
It's a duck blur!

Might solve a mystery
Or rewrite history

Sorry. Disney Afternoon flashback.

Blogger Greenthumb said...

Okay...I hate this one, but it so stayed with me to this day....

There's the story,
of a lovely lady.
Who was bringing up
three very lovely girls.
All of them had hair of gold,
like there mother
the youngest one in curls....

That should be all it takes to leave that running thru your brain.

Blogger Torrie said...

T.V. show songs!
I'll bring the whipped cream.

Blogger little sister said...

too funny. that's all I can say for now.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My 3yr=old grandson sings the new updated Scooby Do theme song, over and over and over - to the chagrin of his 11-year-old brother.

I still sing theme songs. The reporter from the rival paper and I used to burst into the Gilligan's Island theme while looking at files at the courthouse.

Anonymous SUB said...

I'm sure many of your readers will not know this one.

I married Joan
What a girl, what a whirl, what a life.
Oh I married Joan
What a mind, love is blind what a wife.

Giddy and gay, all day she keeps my heart laughin'
Never know where her brain has flown.

Each to his own
Can't deny that's why I married Joan.

Blogger Dawn said...

Oh my gosh is anything cuter then that pic. From now on everytime I see or play twister I'll think of your dog. Thanx-that made my day!


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