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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Turkey Farm Redux

According to SiteMeter, most of the new visitors to "What Was I Thinking?" in the last couple of days have come here searching for turkey tips. And I think someone has even picked up last year's turkey post and distributed it in a mass email, which is kind of flattering. After last week's WTF-ishness, I wanted to post something lighter and more fun this week. I really can't do better than to rely on my little friends from last year. So, this is an "encore" post. I hope it still tickles you if you're an old-timer here, and hope it helps you with your holiday preparations if you're new :)

turkey farm

Across the hall from my office is what I believed to be a daycare center. Turns out, it is some sort of work-release program for 3- and 4-year-olds, from which they operate a turkey farm. As you can imagine, it's been a busy place this week. I've dealt with a turkey or two in my day, so I thought I'd take a moment to offer some last-minute turkey selection guidance, with a little help from my turkey-raising friends across the hall.

Do look for:

good bird

A plump, confident bird that will look you right in the eye. All parts should be . . . "in the ballpark," so to speak.


visually challenged turkey

A bird that appears intoxicated, or just effin' goofy. You don't want that.

inverted bird

The upside-down turkey, with crossed legs and shifty eyes. May also exhibit a paranoid demeanor. This bird will NOT digest easily.

ingrown turkey

Watch for the inbred turkey. Its feathers and legs tend to grow inward. Also be leery of turkeys with excessive glue or other miscellaneous white liquids dripping from their beaks. You just don't know where a turkey like this has been.

afflicted turkey

This is the "WTF" turkey. Any bird that elicits, as your first response, a startled "WTF?!" is to be avoided. Just say no.

Happy shopping, cooking, cleaning, eating, visiting, stressing (no, not happy stressing; just don't do it!) to each of you.

25 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger sometrouble said...

I love it! You cracked me up! It is great that you don't let WTF mess with your sense of humor...at least it doesn't seem like it here. Hold on to that! I love those turkeys...they really have personalities...and they were just pasted together by 4 year olds. Now a bunch of adults will get a kick out of them!

Anonymous LadyBug said...

This is one of my favorite posts. I'm happy to revisit it. Thanks for the giggles and grins this morning, Susie.

Anonymous OddMix said...

So very funny! I wish you a happy thanksgiving and pray you are feeling well for the festivities.

Blogger WILLIAM said...

I loved this post last year and I love it more this year.

Have a good Thanksgiving.

Blogger elizabeth said...

when i realized that this is one of the first posts i'd ever read of yours (where did the past year go??), i decided to come out of lurkdome.

so hi, and though i know it's been a rough year for you, this post is a reminder of when things were far more normal, and i really hope that you have that again very soon. you can totally conquer wtf.

people you don't even know exist (like me) are standing in the murky sidelines rooting for you.

Blogger Nina said...

Thanks for the smiles this morning. I loved this last year and it is indeed worth an encore.
P.S. Thanks for the Thanksgiving wishes!

Blogger eclectic said...

I'm with William... well, I'm not actually with William, because he's in Florida and I'm not, but y'know... I loved it then, and I love it even more now. And I'm even more thankful for you this year than I was last year! Wishing you and yours a day worth remembering. Happy Thanksgiving, Susie.

Blogger Karen said...

Oh, this is a classic. I think this is the first post of yours I commented on last year. Maybe not, but it's the one that sticks in my memory.

Blogger Platypus said...

The WTF turkey is one of my favourites and I love that it's in your masthead. I'm glad the internets are getting a kick out of it too. :)

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Susie - I saw a bunch of little turkey decorations like these at the daycare center the littles go to. I thought of you (and this turkey post) when I saw them. I'll have to take a picture of them tonight.

Blogger lawyerchik said...

What a riot!! I was thinking that that last turkey was a Van Gogh, but still to be avoided..... :) Happy Thanksgiving, Susie! May you have lots to be thankful for in the near future!!!

Blogger Effie said...

still love 'em!!

Happy Turkey Day to you and yours! Enjoy it to the fullest and be thankful for what you've got! I'm thankful for you!!

Blogger dashababy said...

STill very funny :D
This is like leftovers, kinda.

Blogger Susie said...

sometrouble, yay, someone who hasn't seen it! I'm glad you enjoyed :)

ladybug, it's one of my favorites, too. I miss those kids across the hall. I'll have to visit just to see what's on the bulletin boards.

oddmix, thank you, and a happy Thanksgiving to you and your lovely family, too :)

william, you are a good friend. I hope you and yours have a good Thanksgiving, too. I pray that EVERYONE in your entire family has much to be thankful for.

elizabeth, welcome (to comments :) and thank you for visiting here and for your encouragement.

nina, :) I am thankful for you, and you're very welcome.

eclectic, I was about to be so envious of both you AND William, getting together without me like that ;) Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, my dear sister.

karen, I actually remember your comments (sorta) about this post last year, and I do think it was the first time you commented. So I'm thankful for that. Classic, eh? I like that.

platypus, thanks! My friend, eviluncledave, who remodelled my blog, liked the WTF turkey (something about a resemblance to him?) and used it in a sample page he sent me, and there you have it :)

ck, oh, do! :)

lawyerchik, thank you; I have plenty to be thankful for right now, but I know what you mean. I want to be thankful for a return to good health. I want it SOON!

effie, I shall focus on doing that. I'm thankful for you, too. Both of you ;)

dashababymama, ha! I've always said turkey is better the next day. Maybe these are better the next year?

Blogger Squirl said...

Susie, thank you! I was looking at that picture in your masthead and thinking that I needed to go back in your archives to re-read it. And, here it is, you've brought it back for me.

I love this post, I love you. And I am thankful that you're part of my life.

Have a wonderful, happy, healthful holiday, sis!

Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

The WTF turkey is still my favourite being vegetarian and all. Viva le gobbler!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just say no to WTF turkeys! Actually, say NO to anything WTF related! Wouldn't your day be easier that way?

This is the cutest thing I've seen in quite some time. Thanks honey.

Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Still as hilarious as it was last year. Personally, I am drawn to the money-shot turkey. Somebody has to take the dribbler home, you know!

Anonymous Katy said...

The WTF Turkey reminds me of myself at this time last year. I was coming to terms with being in the wrong graduate study program. Wasn't in a good state of mind and had to "just say no." That's why I missed this original post. Thanks for running that hilarity again! It's impossible to look at those turkeys and feel blue.

Turkeys can be a bit cantankerous. My friend Wayne Henderson once had a pet turkey he encouraged to be on the wild side. In your words, he could have been called "effin goofy" and "delusional" all at once. BTW, Wayne will appear on Prairie Home Companion this weekend! Who knows, he might even talk about his pet turkey "Smedley."

Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I fondly remember last year’s turkey post. Thanks for the repeat. Perhaps November is the one month each year when folks Google for “turkey”—relating to Thanksgiving and, of course, the elections.

Blogger Squirl said...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Blogger SassyFemme said...

OMGosh, I'm dying laughing over these!

Blogger Amy said...

This was the post that made me fall in love with you.

Well, this one and the one where you posted that picture of you where you look like a movie star.

Blogger Kentucky Brat said...

I laughed as hard as I did the first time I saw this... your comments so fit the bird!

Always in my thoughts Susie. I hope you had a lovely Happy Thanksgiving

Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

That last turkey looks like it was created by Picasso or his kin:)


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