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Saturday, May 13, 2006

Happy Mothering Day (an "encore" post)

I am not "back" yet, but this topic has been on my mind, is often on my mind, so I wanted to say this again, today, this post from last year at this time:

Here's to you...

This is a tribute to mothering. Not to mothers; y'all (we all) get plenty this weekend. No, I'm thinking of the MANY people, both female and male, who "mother" someone, without having the title, "Mom." I would like to pay tribute to mothering. That means different things to different people. Here are some of the things it means to me:

~ doing what you don't feel like doing, because you care enough about someone else to put yourself out like that

~ voluntarily sacrificing for someone else's well-being, comfort or happiness

~ being someone else's biggest fan, without keeping track of how many times they don't measure up

~ using whatever you have -- money, affection, cooking skills, sense of humor, etc., to lift someone who doesn't have quite as much at the moment

~ praying for someone faithfully, even if they never know it

~ being truly happy for someone else's success; or truly sad for their misfortune

~ taking care of someone, with no regard for "what's in it for me"

~ making it your business to do all you can to help someone else succeed

And I'm not talking about "co-dependency;" there's no "co" about it. Mothering gives without expectation of getting. If you don't "get" this post, I guess that means it wasn't for you. But if you do get it, then celebrate yourself, celebrate that although no one has awarded you the title, you do mother someone. Maybe a lot of someones -- mate, siblings, parents, grandparents, neighbors, students, pets, friends . . . And I know that if you really ache to be called "Mom," this is small consolation, but just consider, if you were called "Mom," you might not have been able to mother all the other people that you have, during your life. Your contributions are no less significant than if your name were "Mom."

Do celebrate your "mothering" side this Mother's Day. I say it's your day, too.

file under: &Sharing

11 heads are better than one . . .

Anonymous Sharkey said...

Awww, Susie . . . this post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.

Also? I'm very encouraged by the word "yet" in your first sentence. :)

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I came down to write a wee bit this morning and stopped by to check on you. Now I'm weepy dammit! Thanks for the recap. I love the idea of Mothering Day. Perhaps this day would be easier for all. Peace to you my dear friend. Know I think of you every single day and hope you are alright. {{{{{Susie}}}}}

Blogger August95 said...

What a great thought Susie. Hope you have a very wonderful Mothers day. Hugs :)

Blogger hellokittn said...

So that's why I bought these gold earrings for myself today?!?!

...and the new handbag... and the shoes... and the new jacket...

Here wishing I could be mothering you when you could use mothering most. Much blove to you Susie :-).

Blogger hellokittn said...

...by the way, I would probably be a horrible mother. But I do give a decent foot rub and I clean a mean kitchen :-[.

Blogger Karen said...

This was a lovely post Susie.

Blogger Dawn said...

have a great mothers day, susie.

Blogger Nina said...

Very true and beautifully said, like always.

Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i actually have a friend right now going through a very rough time that i guess i'm trying to mother, not always an easy thing to do. here via karen.

Blogger eclectic said...

Do you remember around Christmas time when you said to us, "Blog children, go where I send thee" or some such phrase? It occurs to me that you, in many ways, 'mother' a whole lotta us bloggies in a variety of ways, and that we love you in many ways like a mom. Which is NOT to say we think you're a MUTHA, or anything like that...! ;) This is a lovely post, and a thought I've pondered but never quite so coherently. Thank you for giving voice to the value of motherING!

Anonymous Katy said...

Thank you Susie for your reflections on mothering. I was immediately reminded of this song which is on the Linda Ronstadt-Emmylou Harris album "The Western Wall":

This is to Mother You
by Sinead O'Connor

This is to mother you
to comfort you and get you through
through when your nights are lonely
through when your dreams are only blue
this is to mother you.

This is to be with you
to hold you and to kiss you too
for when you need me I will do
what your own mother didn't do
which is to mother you.

All the pain that you have known
all the violence in your soul
all the wrong things you have done
I will take from you when I come

All mistakes made in distress
all your unhappiness
I will take away with my kiss
Yes I will give you tenderness
For child I am so glad I found you
Although my arms have always been around you
Sweet bird although you did not see me
I saw you

and I'm here to mother you
to comfort you and get you through
through when your nights are lonely
through when your dreams are only blue
this is to mother you.


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