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Monday, August 29, 2005

I Need an Alibi!

UPDATE: I was shocked and delighted (mostly delighted) that one of the "principals" from my original "Central 17" post popped in and commented. Rather than direct you back there, I have copied her comment here, and I'll reply here:

Anonymous said...

This is the KT mentioned in this blog post. I'm still laughing about this ancient episode in my high school past. I always regretted not being involved. How flattering to be described as having good sense and being cool at the same time. Some other things of interest: The Beaver Creek school was torn down, so hopefully all the Beavers can finally put this behind them (ha). I live about 150 feet above the famous fart-smeller road inscription. I think of it often when I drive that road. I think Susie and I should seriously think about a book/screenplay regarding this and other episodes from our hillbilly past. Has Susie posted anything about her foray into the world of beauty pageants? Just an idea for ya, doll!

12:36 PM

KT, I am so tickled to see you here. If only we had known they were going to tear down the school anyhow, we could have saved all that hard-earned money. I have not posted, and I may never post, anything about pageants. There's blogworld and there's realworld, but pageantworld is a whole 'nother Oprah! That was too horrifying and traumatic a world to share here, without having gotten considerable therapy. I mean, even more than I've had! So seriously, is the "fart-smeller" thing still on the road? Is it like a landmark, "I live in the third house on the left after you drive over 'fart-smeller'?" I like how you called it an "inscription." That sounds so much nicer than grafitti. I'll email you. Study hard!

I now return you to your regularly scheduled post. Just wanted you to "meet" my friend "KT."

I have a bit of a situation, and I need your help. Over the weekend, there may or may not have been a mini-reunion of the "Central 17." We might possibly have met in South Dakota to reminisce, see the sights, compare art supplies. Hypothetically speaking, you understand.

Then this morning, I received a photograph in a plain brown email. I fear that I am being blackmailed. I need to ask that you all vouch for my whereabouts over the weekend. If anyone, like, say, a small town Southern sheriff, asks about me, please tell him that I was right here, giving y'all flowers and scripture verses. Please? Thank you. Oh, and if you want to embellish my alibi to make it more convincing, by all means, go for it.


I've never seen these guys before in my life! Well, maybe once . . .

36 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger whfropera said...

i'm thinking BFE has been playing with Photoshop again...LOL

 
Blogger Susie said...

operagirl, the plain brown email did smell like kielbasa . . .

 
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Susie, I had such fun this weekend! I'm so glad you and your entire family could come to Illinois and hang out with the circus! We had such fun talking and staying up late. I think my favorite part, though was when we all made smores around the firepit after dark Saturday night.

I hope you and yours had fun, too. :)

We hope you can all come back soon!

*wink, wink*

 
Anonymous The Kielbasa Queen said...

I don't know who this BFE is, but she better back the hell off my kielbasa corner.

 
Anonymous ladybug4791 said...

I couldn't get Ms. Kielbasa Queen's link to work.

Susie, Deputy Dad has been inquiring about "the perps who vandalized the...you know that thing with the dead presidents? Yeah, THAT." I told him I don't know anything about it, but you might wanna lay low for a while.

 
Blogger Squirl said...

Susie, it looks to me like you were in Illinois with the circus this weekend. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

 
Blogger WILLIAM said...

I saw a figure that looked a lot like your profile pic in a toy store in South Carolina this weekend. I think that Alibi will hold up.

 
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

...and why does my name always get invoked when somebody takes a can of spray paint to Mount Rushmore?

 
Blogger Sleeping Mommy said...

LMAO!

UMMM! Shame on you!

LMAO!

 
Blogger Candace said...

Yeah, Illinois. And I was there visiting my family (no, really, they live there) and meeting up with you and your family at that rest stop was SO much fun! Thanks for the great game of Yahtzee!, too. Much fun was had by all!

 
Blogger SierraBella said...

CNN just reported someone had noticed a gold van with tinted windows in the area of this recent vandalism...

"Yep, it wuz an older van, and it was fulla ummmm older folks.
One of them women had hickeys all over her neck, and ta other one had bootyful eyes."

 
Blogger Annejelynn said...

you are the cutest cheeseball! a total complete, very cute cheeseball!

 
Blogger eclectic said...

That's absolutely perfect!!! The memorial clearly NEEDED a representation of the significant contributions women have made to the development of this great country. Hurray for Susie! Not that you'd have anything to do with it, of course... **backpedaling, backpedaling, backpedaling**

 
Blogger eclectic said...

Oh dear, Susie... they've found you, and your punishment is blog-spam. Agh, the humanity!!!

 
Blogger ieatcrayonz said...

So, spammers are attracted to huge monuments or criminal acts? Is this the correlation? I am totally taking down that picture of the mashed potato Statue of Liberty.

Susie, I think it may be time to enact a couple of safety features, eh? This is ridiculous! Quit defiling this blog, you jerks!

 
Blogger jac said...

Susie
Delete the spam and put on your word verification 'on'. They are here to.

 
Blogger Susie said...

EVERYONE, yea, yea, I finally had enough and turned on the secret code word feature. Sorry for the extra step, but the spambots were coming fast and furious.

CK, Thank you again for your hospitality. I don't know when I've had such a NITE WEEKEND! NITE ONE!

your majesty, I'll tell her. I'm sure she'll respect your corner.

ladybug, I forgot that there's a law enforcement link right here in blogworld. Thanks for covering for me. I mean, thanks for um, sharing that little domestic convo with us. I'm pretty sure that's washable paint that those alleged vandals might have allegedly used . . .

squirl, I appreciate your loyalty.

william, absolutely, I did go toy shopping in SC, and I do look JUST LIKE my profile pic.

Bucky, your name gets invoked on many, many diverse occasions, my dear, including ANYTIME someone shows up in assless chaps.

sleeping mommy! C'mon, now, you can't have it both ways, you can't shame on me and laugh at the same time!

misfit, I was so happy to finally meet you! You kick ass at Yahtzee, girl!

sierrabella, OLDER? Who are they calling . . . I mean, yea, so that definitely wasn't me :)

annejelynn, cheeseball? I like it! I'm gonna put that on my business cards!

eclectic, I agree, whomever did that, they were just acknowledging the female contribution to our history.

crayoneater and jac, when you're right, you're right. I got the little mystery word thing going now.

 
Anonymous MrsDoF said...

Oo-oo-oo Mt. Rushmore. I haven't been there in a dozen years.
You haven't been either, you were in Illinois with Circus. I saw your van as it was getting off the interstate exit.

 
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

Um, yeah, I saw you at the circus too. At the elephant pen.

 
Blogger Gyrobo said...

Mount Rushmore's good, but the Great Wall of China could totally crush it.

 
Blogger momo said...

Sorry you've been getting hit by the spambots! I deleted over 26 on Friday.

**knock on wood** I think they've gone away for now.

I think we may need to get our stories straight...Illinois and/or South Carolina? Just let me know what we decide on. **wink wink**

 
Blogger Nilbo said...

Yeah, yeah, enough about the vandalism ... what we ALL really wanna hear about is Susie the Beauty Queen.

 
Blogger WILLIAM said...

I would love to hear about the pageant days. Do you have Pictures?

 
Blogger Susie said...

thank you, mrsDoF! ;)

kranki, yea . . . that's the ticket!

gyrobo, I'm going there next year!

momo, I get around, honey.

nilbo, nilbo, nilbo. If I can ever find a way to make it funny, maybe. The short version is, it's something I did on a lark and ended up in a world where people took it VERY seriously, and sometimes weren't too happy that people like me were there taking it VERY lightly . . . then I started to do well, and thought, hey . . . maybe this is something I'd like to do . . . but I was never Queen of anything. Not even Kielbasa. As it turned out, the closest I ever came to winning was the year of this crime, and ohdearlord I was so thankful not to be Miss County at that point, because I would have been stripped of my sash and more publicly humiliated than I already was with the investigation, etc. There, more than you ever wanted to know ;)

william, see comment to Nilbo. Yea, somewhere there are pictures. I'll post my "swimsuit event" picture -- NOT. There's a funny one from the talent part somewhere; one of these days if I come across it I'll put it on here. I portrayed an insane person and sang a song. Would anyone here be surprised by that?

 
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie, you can be the Honrary Kielbasa Queen any day, hon.

 
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

...or "Honorary" in English.

 
Blogger Susie said...

bucky, oh, I thought I could be the Ornery Kielbasa Queen, or the Horny K Q, either of which would be fine by me. I also still aspire to the title, "Miss Understood."

 
Blogger eclectic said...

"Miss-Celaneous" perhaps?

 
Blogger LadyBug said...

Oooh, I wanna play, too!

How 'bout Miss Taken?

 
Blogger Susie said...

eclectic and ladybug, I like it!

Miss Guided?
Miss Appropriated?

Oh, yes, let's have a pageant!

 
Blogger LadyBug said...

Miss Fortune!
Miss Understanding!
Miss Stated!
And my personal favorite...
Miss Issippi!

 
Blogger Greenthumb said...

Mammarama is BACK!!!!

Woohooo!!!!

 
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

When I was pregnant with Buddy (our little "surprise" child), I wanted to dress up for Halloween as Miss Conception. Hubby wouldn't let me. :)

 
Blogger Susie said...

ladybug, Great! Miss Fortune is a Halloween costume waiting to happen.

greenie, woooohhoooooo! Indeed!

CK, I think that's adorable. Silly hubby.

 
Anonymous SUB said...

I didn't really see you, but I saw Pokey while I was visiting my ol' Alma Mater U of I. I figured you were eating some bull somewhere, or just shooting it.

 
Blogger Nina said...

And you thought it cost a lot to clean up the school. . . just wait till they send the bill for this one. :)

My word verification is :
Ohsnhwp > which makes me think oh shut up for some reason. . . :)

 


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