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Saturday, May 21, 2005

These Things Come in Threes



The charming and fascinating Squirl tagged me with this one, so here you go:

Three names you go by:
Susan
Susie
Mrs. Fairchild

Three screen names you have had:
Susie
Mr. Rogers
Johnnie Cochran

Three physical things you like about yourself:
Eyes
Smile
Various concentrated nerve endings

Three parts of your heritage:
English
German
Scottish

Three things that scare you:
Thinking about my daughter going out into the world
When it turns out I've been very wrong in my perception of someone (rare)
That's all I can think of; I don't scare easily

Three things you're wearing now:
pajama pants
a T-shirt
eyeglasses
(whew, good thing this isn't "four things," 'cause that's it!)

Three of your favorite bands or musical artist:
Neville Brothers
Smokey Robinson
Ben Harper
(VERY tough to limit; I like SO many, even some white people!)

Three of your favorite songs:
Be Thou My Vision
In Your Eyes
Higher Love

Three things you want in a relationship:
(I'm answering with a love relationship in mind, rather than a friendship, business relationship, etc.)
Kindness
Faithfulness (in all areas)
Great sex

Two truths and a lie (which one is a lie?)
I used to be a cheerleader
I was once charged with vandalism
I have written a novel
(No, you have to GUESS the lie!)

Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:
Eyes
Biceps (shout out to Aaron N.!)
Kind smile
("Preferred" gives me pause; I am answering re: males, to whom I am more physically attracted; I prefer different folk for different functions :)

Three of your favorite hobbies:
Blogging
Photography
Cooking

Three things you want to do badly right now:
Have a 100% clean house
Have all my spring planting done
Really like exercising (I don't yet, but I want to)
(These things would seem to suggest that I should get my butt out of my blogging chair and git bizzy!)

Three careers you're considering:
(These are things I've daydreamed of. Not planning to pursue.)
Stand-up comic
Judge
Interior designer

Three places you want to go on vacation:
Asheville, NC (this one is already planned)
Greece
Montana (again)

Three kids' names you like:
Annabelle
Corinne
Caroline

Three things you want to do before you die:
See my daughter grown, happy and healthy
Stick around long enough for my grandchildren to remember how much I loved them
Master some areas of my temperament that still displease me

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
Rarely leave home without lip gloss
LOVE me some shoes and purses
Go nuts for little babies

Three celebrity crushes:
Aaron Neville
Johnny Depp
Tom Jones (from waaaaaay back)

I'm not going to officially tag anyone, but whomever reads and is interested, please go right ahead and tag yourownself. This one's actually kind of fun.

And now, to matters of a more controversial nature . . .

WHAT WOULD YOU DO . . .

If you entered a contest that required you to think carefully, to write something, to use wit and skill and intuition . . . and if you WON that contest, fair and square . . . and if the advertised major awards for winning that contest included a photograph of a certain famous blogger, in certain signature attire pertaining to said blogger AND a certain simple carb concoction known as "the San Francisco treat" . . . and if once it had been publicly announced that you were the winner of that contest, said famous blogger who originated, promoted, and judged said contest emailed your winning ass and said, "the Rice-a-Roni offer was a total scam . . . I must confess to complete fibbery regarding the San Francisco Treat."

This, dear readers, is the unfortunate situation in which I find myself today. I planned my menu, as well as my grocery budget, around the fact that I would be receiving somewhere between one box and a year's supply (a girl can dream!) of the SFT. But no. I was scammed. Now I ask you,

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

UPDATE: Sunday morning. The scammer in question has cried "uncle." She has been given a suggestion of a way to atone for her offenses. We shall await her response as to whether she is willing to take her punishment like a LADY.

28 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger Nilbo said...

I would give her a new middle name ... and it wouldn't be polite ...

 
Anonymous LadyBug said...

You should spank her birthday ass, while she's wearing the assless chaps.

Coincidentally, helping out with that birthday spankin' was what I demanded as my consolation prize.

 
Blogger ieatcrayonz said...

Johnny, fabulous ancers. You should tag Sharkey.

You have definintely not written a novel because only Christian beyotches can be cheerleaders and convicts at the same time.

I'm sorry to hear that you were scammed. It sounded so for real. Does that mean the signed photo is bogus, too? I once had a contest on my blog where the prize was a set of Oklahoma salad bowls. I never sent them out either. I only had three of the four Cool Whip containers I needed to complete the set.

Scammed is such an awful word. Let's say you were just, um, spammed. Maybe Bucky will send you some delicious Spam instead.

 
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Hmmm how about a passive agressive payback involving her face and some creative Photoshopping???

If she lives local to you, some flaming dog poo in a brown paper sack might be in order:)

 
Blogger Squirl said...

What? The whole thing was a scam???

I can't believe Bucky would do that. I'm gonna hafta have a long talk with that girl.

 
Blogger Weetzie said...

I can't believe Bucky isn't gonna come thru with the San Francisco Treat! I would've had my menu all planned too.....a flogging is in order here!!

 
Blogger Closet Metro said...

Start a vicious rumor that her chaps actually do have an ass. Oooh, that'll learn her!

 
Blogger Andrea said...

I'm going to guess the novel is the lie too. And Be Thou My Vision is my favorite, favorite hymn.

 
Blogger Susie said...

nilbo, the first one I gave her wasn't all that polite. I don't think impolite really phases her . . .

ladybug, while I am usually in favor of a good time being had by all, I really don't want to reward such behavior. I fear she would enjoy your consequence just a lit-tle too much!

robyn, you crayon-eater. What are you, a detective? Up in here deducing and calculating. I am surprised at you, with your no bowl sending. I would be willing to accept SPAM luncheon meatishness as a replacement, BUT only if it were scultped into some tasteful . . . you know, SCULPTURE.

nuggetmaven, she lives quite far from me. And have you seen the things she's done to her OWN photos? She's a hard one to offend, that Bucky.

squirl, I hate to say it, but as the official "sister with some class," I would ask that you withhold further rum cake from Katy Caverna until this matter is resolved.

weetzie, please see my reply to ladybug. This is no ordinary scammer we're dealing with here.

closet metro, THIS is more like it. If word got out that Bucky goes around without her ass hanging out . . . that could be devastating for her . . . let me think on this one . . .

andrea, mine, too. "Thou my best thought, by day or by night."
Do you think my blog could spontaneously combust due to the abrupt shift in the nature of the content here in the comments box?

 
Blogger Andrea said...

heeheehee...

 
Blogger SierraBella said...

If you can convince Bucky Caverna to send me a duplicate copy of the assless chaps photo (signed of course,) I will send you some of my stash of Rice-A-Roni the San Francisco treat!
Found it for $1.00 a box and went a little crazy...

 
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

I just can't belive our much beloved Bucky would stoop so low as to try to welch out of her ricestastical promises.

I think what we need to do is NOT spank her, NOT be rude and crude and NOT mention her assless chaps or our desire to see her in them.

I say all we talk about on her site is flowers, puppies, and peace and love. The platonic kind.

That would so teach her. Dirty fibber.

 
Blogger Dang Cold.. said...

FREAKIN' RIPOFF MAN!!!! THIS SUCKS FOOT CHEESE!!! BUCKY IS SOOO DEAD!!!

dc - demanding chaps

 
Blogger Nic said...

Sadly enough, the pic of Bucky in the assless chaps is probably real.

 
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Find you a computer geek, track down the perpetrator, and:

1. Gut-shoot her with a sawed-off shotgun, Or

2. Snap her ass with a towel.

Whatever you think would shame her the most.

(P.S. I liked very much your willingness to answer the me-me-me. Good job. Thanks.)

 
Blogger Susie said...

sierrabella, I think it is right neighborly of you to offer to rescue Bucky's chapless ass like that (wait, what?), and that may well be part of the solution. I was also thinking that in addition to the chaps photo, I could demand a photo, a RECENT photo, of her in a DRESS. Yeah? I must have something to compensate me for this pain and suffering!

jessicarabbit, first, you have provided us with the word of the day, never before uttered on this (or any other) blog: ricestastical. Indeed. And secondly, your suggestion is excellent. How about:

ANYONE VISITING HERE, GO VISIT BUCKY AND LEAVE A MESSAGE IN WHICH YOU TALK ABOUT SUCH AS JESS HAS SAID - RAINBOWS, KITTENS, SUNDAY SCHOOL, ETC. ALSO, SPEAK TO BUCKY AS THOUGH SHE IS A VERY REFINED, UPSTANDING, VIRGINAL, CHURCH-GOING LADY. SHE MUST PAY! (AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T SPANK HER. SHE'D LIKE THAT TOO MUCH.) ALSO, LIKE CLOSET METRO SAID, COMMENT ON HER OUTFIT, HER VERY FEMININE, TASTEFUL OUTFIT, MAKING IT CLEAR THAT WE KNOW SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY ASSLESS CHAPS!
Who knew I was so vengeful?

dang, it means so much that you always have my back.
devoted chap

Why, nic, you sound so jaded, so cynical. Who have you been hanging out with? ;)

hoss, I cannot vote for either of these. #1 could HURT somebody! #2, she might enjoy.

I like the me-me-me. People who love to do the me-me-mes are the same people who must always be talking on their selfones.

 
Blogger Nic said...

HA! Susie sunshine, you should see my reply at Bucky's. I think you will enjoy it. Just for you baby!

 
Blogger Susie said...

I SAW WHAT'S HAPPENING AT THE COTILLION. YOU PEOPLE ROCK! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. WHEN BUCKY GETS HOME, SHE'LL FREAK! THERE'LL BE RICE-A-RONI FOR EVERYONE!!!!

 
Blogger Dawn said...

I have some rice-a-roni here if you want it-it's yours. Just say the word.
Um about the lie: I really have to take a guess at it and say the vandalism one-maybe-wait lemme' think for a second..............yeah, Final Answer: the vandalism one.
How do you come up with such interesting things to blog about?

 
Blogger Dawn said...

OH I forgot one thing(i do that a lot-oops) I'm so with you on the johnny oh baby yum yum depp crush. Oh and I'd send her a crap load of rice-a roni

 
Blogger Nic said...

Hello, my name is Nicole and I am a wordsmith. Heehee.

 
Blogger Indigo said...

You must be kidding me? I would totally OUT the scammer.

 
Blogger WILLIAM said...

This is one of the funniest post/comments I have read in a while. Your revenge is perfect.

 
Blogger Susie said...

losc, thank you for your kind offer, but I'm afraid this matter has now gone beyond a simple Rice-A-Roni remedy :0

nic, you know more words than, than . . . well, definitely more than I!

indigo, the scammer in question is Bucky Four-Eyes, aka Katy Caverna Barzedor.

william, thank you; it has been most entertaining to me, as well. I love Bucky, but she must be taught a lesson!

 
Blogger spoonleg said...

I loooooove the name Corinne. I don't know why, it seems a bit old fashioned, but it's definitely on my top 5 girl name list.

I also love Rice-A-Roni.

 
Blogger Jomama said...

Hey Susie. I am outraged at how you were ripped off. I usually lurk at the Cotillion, but I will make an exception for you. Oh yeah, and I'm taking your meme.

 
Blogger Susie said...

spoonie, I do like old-fashioned names. I know a Corinne who's called Crin as a nickname, which I think is cute, too.

rina bee, I appreciate your outrage, and you are most welcome to the meme :)

 
Blogger this.is.damon said...

Ok ... please tell me you don't like Aaron Neville's singing ... like my mom does. I know he wears those fishnet muscle shirts that drives the ladies wild ... but come on ... it's a black dude yodelling. That's not cool.

 


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