My kid is funny. And I do thank the Good Lord Above for that. I can't imagine living with people who have no sense of humor. The other night in a restaurant, she keeps using "uh huh, um hmm," etc. This is one of my pet peeves. When she does this, I say, "I hear grunting," and I pretend to look around for the pigs that must surely be afoot (I know, it's weird; it's just a thing I have. If you don't mind it, fine, but I do). So I ask her once again to drop the grunting, to use "yes" and "no."
She says, "Do I have to use, 'yes, ma'am?'"
"That won't be necessary," I say, "but I would like you to use, 'Mommy, dearest.'" (She doesn't know THAT story.)
LG argues, because that's what she does, "I don't want to say that. What else can I say instead?"
"How about . . . Your Highness?"
"No . . . how about YOUR HYENA-OUS?" she offers.
"Hmmmm, your hyena-ous . . . " I try it out.
"No! I've got it: You're Heinous!"
I like it. "OK. Whenever you address me, say 'You're Heinous!'"
How did this child get to be such a wiseacre?
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