Last night, I hear a strange noise, about 1 a.m. Jif goes to investigate, as he always does on such occasions. This morning I say to him, "You know what I don't like about you?" (This is, by the way, the question that every husband loves to hear from his wife.)
"If I hear something in the middle of the night, you get up and go looking around like you're going to take care of it, but you don't put your glasses on! What could you do if you found something, or someone? You wouldn't even be able to SEE them!"
"What does seeing them have to do with anything? I don't have to SEE them to take care of the situation."
"WHAT? Of course you have to SEE them, to give a description! You'd be all, 'No officer, I cannot provide a description of the assailant, because I am blind as a bat and didn't see a thing . . . "
He says, "No, I 'would be all' 'No, officer, I cannot provide a description of the assailant -- but HERE'S HIS ARM!!!!"
Oh. OK, then. I guess that works.