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Monday, March 07, 2005

One-Armed Intruder

Last night, I hear a strange noise, about 1 a.m. Jif goes to investigate, as he always does on such occasions. This morning I say to him, "You know what I don't like about you?" (This is, by the way, the question that every husband loves to hear from his wife.)

"What?"

"If I hear something in the middle of the night, you get up and go looking around like you're going to take care of it, but you don't put your glasses on! What could you do if you found something, or someone? You wouldn't even be able to SEE them!"

"What does seeing them have to do with anything? I don't have to SEE them to take care of the situation."

"WHAT? Of course you have to SEE them, to give a description! You'd be all, 'No officer, I cannot provide a description of the assailant, because I am blind as a bat and didn't see a thing . . . "

He says, "No, I 'would be all' 'No, officer, I cannot provide a description of the assailant -- but HERE'S HIS ARM!!!!"

Oh. OK, then. I guess that works.

10 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

So that's how the one-armed man came to torment Richard Kimball! Your man is brave. Blind, but valiant.

Oh, and I dig the cartoon dollhouse, especially now that I know it's where Gumby and Pokey express their unquenchable lust for each other.

 
Anonymous Spurious Plum said...

Super Sus- Does he just roll through the house with a knife, hacking at shadows? If he hits anything he could ruin your carpet!

Courageous soul...

 
Anonymous kalki said...

Your man may be blind, but at least he's brave! When I hear things, my husband hides under the covers with me, hoping it just goes away. lol

 
Blogger panthergirl said...

hahahaha... gross! :)

Just wanted to pop by and say thank you so much for leaving a comment on my blog to support Greyhound Rescue & Rehab!

 
Blogger Dang Cold.. said...

Any man that will tear an arm of for you is a keeper, Susie. True dat.

dc

 
Blogger Mamaramma said...

Oh, man! I thought I left a comment here yesterday about your picture, but I can't find it. maybe I forgot to hit "post". Stupid, stupid! Anyway: beautiful picture - and I love finding people with a Bozeman connection. It's where we want raise our daughter! Your husband sounds great.
Now I'm going to guess what "Pretty City, Mid-Atlantic Region is:" Virginia Beach, VA? You don't have to tell.

 
Blogger Susie said...

Plum, I LIKE "Super Sus!" That's my first blogger nickname (except for someone called me "dim-witted" a couple days ago, but I like "Super Sus" better!) No, Jif didn't pick up a knife. Being semi-blind and all, he grabbed the first similarly shaped and sized object he felt in the nightstand drawer, and went out with that. I'm really glad there was no one else in the house. How embarrassing would that have been?

 
Blogger Susie said...

kalki and dang, yes he is brave, and he's definitely a "keeper." And I was saying that LONG before those dreadful "keeper" comments at dooce. He's the old-fashioned kind of keeper.

 
Blogger Random and Odd said...

Shaun would just crack jokes with the guy.
He can sleep through anything so I'm usually the one investigating.

"No officer, I didn't shoot him with a gun, I got out my camera and it has this 'preflash' thing and it stunned him. You can find him in the bathroom holding his eye sockets!"

 
Blogger LadyBug said...

That's hilarious.

And having the fingerprints would certainly help!

 


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