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Monday, June 12, 2006



Because I really miss blogging, I am going to take the unprecedented action of sharing a recent therapy session of my own -- that's right, where I was the client. It went a little something like this . . .

Susie: I'm getting sicker, and they still don't know what's wrong with me. I'm at some doctor or lab or radiology place at least once a week now. This week, they're trying to rule out parasites and ovarian cancer.

Therapist (who is, as you'll see, a sick, sick woman): You know, ovarian cancer has the best ribbons.

Susie: What?

Therapist: Not that I want you to have it, or think that you have it; I don't. But my daughter and I always say that among all the different ribbons people wear for their different diseases, ovarian cancer has the best one . . .

Susie: What's it look like?

Therapist: It's turquoise. Breast cancer is OK, but it's such a wimpy pink; fuchsia would be better . . . but, yea, ovarian cancer is a real nice turquoise.

Susie: I do look good in turquoise. But what I really need right now is a ribbon that you wear when you're sick as shit, and no one knows WTF is wrong with you . . . Is there a ribbon for that? I'm gonna go to the fabric store and see what I can find . . . I'm thinking one with some monkeys on it . . .

Therapist: . . . or clowns, maybe . . .

Susie: I'll find something. I'll be wearing it next time you see me . . . unless I have a parasite . . . then I'll get a big rubber worm and pin it to my lapel . . .


Initial tests for ovarian cancer are negative. No word on whether I'll be sportin' a big ol' worm, but I will say, given the list of things we're looking for, a worm would be a thing of beauty and a joy forever. My energy, and my times of feeling like a living, breathing human, are sorely limited, and I try to direct them to RL endeavors. I do miss you all, and I did want to tell you what's up, as best I can. Please keep me in your prayers. I know that they work. I know that I have better days when a bunch of you remember me that way. No doubt.

Now, help me out. Any suggestions for what someone in my uncertain situation should wear on her lapel, to call attention to the cause? Again, that would be " 'Cause no one knows what the hell is wrong with me."

file under: &Partial Nudity &Can't Make This Stuff Up

30 heads are better than one . . .

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can you find some fabric with colorful little question marks on it? I think that'd be good.

Unfortunately, my family wears both pink and turquoise ribbons. Here's hoping for a rubber worm for you (I don't think I've ever wished a parasite on anyone before)!

Oh, and you're in my prayers. But you knew that already.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, man I wish I could think of something clever or beautiful to say.

Funny, that would be good. Wry funny. You know the kind. Because I want you to be able to smile and laugh and feel whole and quite beloved and perfect and human, as you are to me.

Please excuse me, I will have to do some thinkin on ribbons now. But... how would you feel if instead of ribbons, it was a badge, maybe, or epaulets?

Blogger Amy said...

Green for all the growing things you capture with your camera.
Red for the madness you must feel not knowing what the hell.
Blue for calmness and peace in your heart.
White for light at the end of the tunnel.
Pink for love. From everyone towards you.
Orange for zest and pizzazz and flair and zip. Which you deserve to get back.
Yellow for pee! Ha! Sorry.
Twist all these around and you get a ribbon that kicks arse. Like you.

Blogger Annejelynn said...

try the Riddler's outfit material - green with question marks? I dunno. I just hope a solid diagnosis is determined soon.

Blogger Squirl said...

Wow, Amy sure had a lot of good suggestions. I'm sorry, but I had to laugh out loud when you said monkeys. Of course, your therapist didn't get it.

Purple socks might help a little. :)

Blogger Nina said...

You are indeed in my prayers, sending good thoughts and lots of love your way.
I think I would wear Bucky's tampon angel before a worm, however.
Here is to you not needing any color of ribbon.
Wishing you well . ..

Blogger Dang Cold.. said...

Get well my friend. You'll beat this for sure. We'll be waiting.


Blogger ieatcrayonz said...

Thank God you can keep your humor through this terrible situation you're dealing with. You had me belly laughing and laughing and laughing.

How about a poo filled diaper on a child in a shopping mall themed ribbon? It's all about feeling like shit and not being able to do anything about it. Or turds on a ribbon. That would work too. Love you, Susie. I'm praying for you, sweetie.

Blogger MrsDoF said...

A few years ago when Whoopi Goldberg was the emcee for the Oscars, she told the audience that she wasn't about to pay $7000 for a dress and then cover it with ribbons for everybody's pet projects.
So maybe you don't need any ribbon at all.

Having had pinworms when I was about age 6, I can say that the treatment is easier than having the problem.
In your case, I hope What is the problem? gets a correct diagnosis soon.
Meanwhile, I'll be thinking about a Blue Ribbon for a First Class Lady!

Blogger August95 said...

Susie, maybe you need a big daisy ribbon to keep you smiling.

Sorry you are still in the unknown. I understand how hard it is. You are in my prayers and often in my thoughts. Here's hoping for worms.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you rule out all the serious stuff, maybe you can find out if you have developed a food allergy. Something like this happened to my aunt. She is fine now. Lynn

Blogger WILLIAM said...

I am glad to hear the Ovarian tests are negative.

I would gladly wear a tapeworm to my lapel to show my support for you you.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

get a rubberband and pin that to your lapel...when someone asks what it means, tell them it stands for WTF disease...translated it means "I'm sick as shit but no one knows what the fuck is wrong with me!"

Blogger Unknown said...

Sweetie, you've had a lot of pretty good suggestions here. I'll think on it more and see if I can come up with something.

Thank God it's not ovarian cancer, darlin. That's one thing you can cross off the list.

Love you, Susie Qusie.

Blogger Susie said...

sharkey, I'll look for the ?s ribbon. I didn't know about the turquoise ribbon in your family. I hope it is worn by a survivor, rather than in someone's memory. And for the record, everyone, the ovarian cancer ribbon is "teal."
See, I've got you doing things you never thought you'd do ;) And I never thought I'd ask people to pray that I have worms, but I've done it.
Thank you for the prayers.

sheryl, all you have to do to be clever and beautiful is show up :)
I must say, I'm liking the epaulets. But when I think of that, I picture wearing a cupcake on each shoulder. Then if my appetite ever returns, I could just turn my head and take a bite. But then, everyone would want to have what I have, because who wouldn't want to walk around with treats on their shoulders? You may have started something, here.

amy, you have me looking mighty festive. I like it :)

annejelynn, thank you, honey. Me, too.

squirl, the purple socks do help. Biscuit steals them every chance he gets, though.

nina, hmm, I wonder where one could get such a broach ;) I would be happy to not need a ribbon. Right now, I'd just like to know. Thank you for the love, prayers, and hugs. So much.

dang, thank you, it does my heart good to see you.

crayonbreath, I'm so tickled that I made you laugh. Your turd ribbon is SO tempting. It's quite perfect, really. What sickness do I have? I have "I'm sick of this shit" sickness . . .

mrsDoF, aw, a blue ribbon? That's so sweet. Now, if I am ever wearing a $7000 dress, I will accessorize it with a ribbon that means "I have way too much money and don't know what to do with it."

august95, daisies are happy. Maybe I could alternate the daisy ribbon and the turd ribbon. Actually, that would be pretty representative of my feelings these days -- like crap, but still trying to be thankful.
Thanks for the worm wishes. (Cracking myself up)

lynn, that would be welcome news, indeed.

william, now I really hope I have a worm, because you know I will totally demand a picture ;)

traci, you made me laugh. WTF disease.

ck, I am thankful that o.c. appears unlikely. They tell me that the test is not very reliable, and I'll need to do it again, but I am choosing not to think that way now. I love you, too, CK.

Blogger LadyBug said...

I like Annejelynn's idea, with the question marks. Seems very appropriate.

So glad you posted, dearie. I've missed your wit.

Love, hugs, and many prayers, my friend. God bless you and keep you.

Blogger Effie said...

Annej took my idea--the Riddler fabric! I just hope they find out what it is sooner than later! My mom was told over a year and a half ago that she's had multiple sclerosis for the past 20 years--which seemed to clear up SO many weird little things that had been happening for no apparent reason, until, about a month ago they said "Well, it might not be MS--let's to 10000 more tests and stick you like a pincushion again--that'll help"--and then they go and say "we don't THINK it's a brain tumour, but we can't rule that out either". Without having a conclusive diagnosis it is SO hard to deal with anything--and given that last info, well--what are you supposed to do?!

Hugs and SO much love to you Susie dear--just remember there's LOADS of people out here (including me!!) that will wear a ribbon for you if you so much as say the word! God bless!

Blogger Andrea said...

For you? You need, of course, a Gumby ribbon.

Thinking of you, and so happy to have stopped by here on a non-Sunday on the off-chance...and there it was. Glad the O cancer is ruled out, but geesh...it must be frustrating, to say the least, NOT to know!

Blogger eclectic said...

Oh now see? I got all excited and didn't read carefully -- I thought Miss Shawkey said, "Here's hoping for a rubber for you", which quite honestly, would make an AWESOME lapel pin to raise people's general awareness of large worms.

Gah, I have to go now. Before you kick me out.

Blogger I'm not here. said...

I think if you don't want to do any ribbons, you could create a little brooch with the letters WTF in a pretty design...
Have thought about doing that just to wear the pin to work and family gatherings, but this would be a better cause, I think.
Hope this at least raised a dry smile.
Thinking of you lots!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to hear you're fighting on - I'm a totally non-medical person but the following url might be interesting: http://www.me.bionetics.co.uk/

Blogger Susie said...

hi, friends, sadly, I don't have a parasite :( At least two diagnostic procedures scheduled next week. I'm not going to go "all medical, all the time" here. I'll just go back to the Sunday Post (although I do have one more thing to post first :) until I have some actual news and a plan. Thanks for your prayers, and healing energy. I really rely on it.

ladybug, thank you, I miss you too. :)

effie, I can't imagine what your mom has gone through with that. And you're right, not knowing is very crazy-making, not to mention a serious delay in treatment.
Yea, you all talk big now, about wearing ribbons and worms, but how many of you would wear cupcakes on your shoulders for me, hmmm?

andrea, yep, it's beyond frustrating at this point.

eclectic, you are a very bad influence on me; on everyone, actually. Please send us a photograph of you with your fancy jewelry :)

MoDis, I LOVE that idea; and you're right, one doesn't even have to be sick to wear it. That would be appropriate at most of my family gatherings, and certainly for work :) You made me laugh :)

marcia, thank you. I checked it out; that's not quite my situation, but I do appreciate your looking out for me. At this point, it appears I'm as likely to be diagnosed by a blogger as by a doctor.

Blogger Closet Metro said...

I was here a few days ago, and all the good comment ideas that I had were already taken. Came back hoping for some fresh inspiration.

I got nuttin.

So: "Hi Susie."

word verification: "brabe" Be brabe.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell me about it, all the good ideas taken!

Susie, this reminds me when my health went to hell in a handbasket (or I think more like a crate) and was finally diagnosed with Lyme Disease. I'm sorry when anyone has to go through the same type of thing. Just a label would be nice, wouldn't it?

Prayers are with you. You've got a lot of love out there heading your way.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Susie, just curious, did you take antibiotics when you were passing stones? You might want to find some information (try google)about candida albicans. You might be surprised by some of the effects an overgrowth of this organism can cause. If this seems like it could be your problem, don't let your doctor poo-poo the suggestion of looking into it. I had a run in with this condition myself. It caused urinary, digestive and reproductive system symtoms (not to mention it was driving me crazy!). If you want more info let me know. God bless you, honey. Try to keep your chin up. Lynn

Blogger Unknown said...

Oh yes, Susie... be BAVE. ;)

Blogger Ern said...

I guess I think along the same lines as Annejelynn and Effie, because I was going to say, "forget the ribbon, you should wear a spandex footie jumpsuit with question marks all over it, ala the Riddler!" So there. I still said it.

If you wear a "WTF" pin, it should definitely be bejeweled. Well...befakejeweled, anyway.

You're in my prayers.

Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

I think you've got dung beetle. The ribbon for this one is shit brown. Kind of hard to find....

Anonymous Anonymous said...

All I have to offer is a hug, SusieToo. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Blogger Susie said...

cm, I could never believe that you've "got nuttin." I am trying to be brabe, though.

sheryle, they did test me for that one. Thank you for your prayers and your kindness :)

lynn, it's not that one. But I do thank you for thinking of me and trying to help. I'm grateful for all ideas, and I do run them by the docs, who clearly, don't know everything.

ck, I'm being bave right this minute :)

ern, thanks for the prayers. When I do figure out what to wear, I'll definitely put some jools on it. I think LG will help with that.

hoss, shit brown is the new black, not hard to find at all.

julie, so nice to see you. Thank you for the prayers, thoughts and hug. All are most appreciated.


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