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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Ten Things About Me #7

61. I have a (little bitty) celeb crush on Apolo Anton Ohno. I have since the 2002 Olympics. He's just a baby, but still... I now see him twice a week on Dancing with the Stars. Yes, I admit it, I watch. Hey, y'all vote for him and keep him on there for me!

Oh, and while I'm talking about TV, I love Friday Night Lights. If you haven't watched it, it's not just about football. In fact, it's more about everything else than it is about football. If you like the show, I think this will crack you up. If you don't watch the show . . . I'm not sure . . .

62. I love to look at those color swatch books from the paint stores. The big, fat kind that you don't really get to take home unless you're a contractor or something, but that I occasionally get my hands on somehow. Probably because a relative stole it. Or maybe not. Anyhow, I love to do that, even when I have nothing to paint.

63. In second grade (or was it first?) I stole Marcia Whitlock's triangle scarf. There's probably a better name for it than that, but it was a fabric triangle with strings attached, that you could tie under your chin or under your hair. They were fashionable back then. It was white pique fabric, with white rickrack. And of course I could never wear it, because the only place I wanted to wear it was to school. I was (rick)racked with guilt, and I eventually threw it away. I'm sorry, Marcia.

64. Being a "yankee" in a southern mountain high school, I was a bit of an unknown commodity, at least when I first got there. I would openly skip school to spend the day with my boyfriend, by telling the guidance counselor I was leaving for an appointment with my psychiatrist. He didn't dare question that. Even though, as far as I know, there wasn't a psychiatrist within 50 miles of the place. (But then, maybe that's why he thought it would take all day.) I would also sometimes skip gym class by telling the teacher (who was the guidance counselor's son) that I was still getting acclimated to the new culture. I was horrid! And I cracked myself up.

65. I guess I'm remembering this now because of #64, but there was this guy I dated when I first moved there, I was a freshman, he was a senior, and he said to me, the first time I was alone with him, "I'm just gonna ask you straight out: how do you feel about two people f*#king?" CAN YOU IMAGINE? I said, "I think it's great." He became very happy. Then I said, "As long as neither of the two people is. . . you know . . . ME." And that was the end of that. Twerp.

66. One would hope, wouldn't one, that mental health professionals would be more mentally healthy than other folk? Or at least AS mentally healthy? It ain't necessarily so. I once had a therapist who went nuts. Just nuts. With me in the room. And I left, worried about him. But who could I call? Who would believe the patient saying that the shrink had gone nuts? To his credit, when I talked to him again, he offered to pay for both me and him to go to a third party shrink, to try to repair the damage to our relationship. I did that a few times, and it was helpful. And that was that, with that shrink. Be careful out there, friends.

67. Speaking of being careful . . . and maybe you all know this, and I just need to say it to myself, but be careful online, too. I have been really, really hurt by people I've met on this blog, to whom I got close and they were not at all who they claimed to be. (For instance, as Nilbo recently pointed out on Circus Kelli's blog, I am, in fact,

"a morbidly obese 57 year old former mental patient named Eugene who sits all day in his sweats and a torn Empire Strikes Back t-shirt, brushing the greasy hair out of his eyes as he trolls chat rooms looking for victims. He sits in his parents' basement on his computer and tries to get young girls to meet him.

His Mom used to scream at him to "Get a job, Eugene! Get a goddamned job!" but she doesn't say much any more. Sometimes there's a gurgle of gases and a whiff of quicklime from the barrel in the corner, but that's about it..."
I'm just sayin' . . . )

68. I'm working with a speech therapist to try to manage my throat and tongue symptoms from WTF well enough to get back to work, on some level. It's the speech thing that mostly interferes with my work plans. I saw recently someone said (and I don't even know who it was or what the context was, but it jumped out at me), "Do what you do best for as long as you possibly can." I'm a really good therapist. There might not be one other G-rated thing that I would say I'm really good at, but by gosh, I am good at that. And I really want to get back to it.

69. You know you're really sick when you ask your husband to go shoe shopping with you. Because you just aren't sure you can pull the boxes out, or get up from the little bench. Even though his presence means you probably won't buy the really impractical kinds that you love, and probably not multiple pairs, either.

70. When Alec Baldwin was recently in the news for leaving that horrendous voicemail message for his kid, I was very critical of him. But, truth be told, I wouldn't want my worst parenting moments recorded and put on TV. :( I hope that was his worst.

file under: &About Me

31 heads are better than one . . .

omigosh...I'm first in line! I don't think that's ever happened before. But it's good. Because, susie, this is the very first time I must be stern in my comments. And that's because you will have to go through me to get to Anton. That is all. ;^)

 
Blogger WILLIAM said...

Hi Eugene. How did you feel about Star Wars Epsisode 1? Was it Lucas' worst work?

 
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Suegene is your new name. I just can't bring myself to call you Eugene...

When were we going to meet up with Eclectic and "deal" with Nilbo, anyway?

 
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

*wonders what's wrong with two people going to fucking burger king*

 
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

Susie,

61. yummy
62. you too?

63. I stole a bag of Fritos in first grade from a boy named Marvin...it's weird but that still crosses my mind and makes me shake my in disgust..I totally had the nerve to eat them AND, AND....place the coveted Frito Bandito eraser that came in the bag on the end of my #2 pencil...(he sat right next to me..cringe)

64. :) gosh you were creative!
65. ugh, I met that guy too!..once or twice.

66. True dat!
67. ..more true dat.

68. My prayer is that you get back to it sooner than later

69. whahahahahah!...(I got food poisoning, 3 weeks ago, I will NEVER eat sushi again :( I was mostly in bed for 12 days..I have a few of my own "you know your sick whens" but I will spare you...yours beats mine hands down.
70. I hope that was his worst too...

 
Anonymous Deneen said...

Suegene-I LOVE it! That is a good Southern name.

After reading your list of more things about you, I swear you are like my good twin. I would be the totally throwed off twin of the pair.

Have a good day. I hope you feel 7 or 8 today. 9 would be good too. But no more than 10 years old. And that is an order from Hootie Mac. Don't mess with the Hootie.

 
Blogger SassyFemme said...

I can't believe you got away with that in HS!!! As for #67, wise words. There are definitely people out there who aren't who/what they say they are. I have to believe though, that the majority really are just nice folk.

 
Blogger Susie said...

htgt, bring it on.

william, heee You know, I actually hate and despise the whole Star Wars thing. I only ever saw the first one, and to this day, I don't get what all the fuss was about.

ck, we have to work out some of the logistics. But soon.

mrB, as long as I'm not one of them...

elizabethyoucriminal, I could see stealing the Fritos; I could even see eating the Fritos. But being so BRAZEN as to put the Frito Bandito on your pencil? Eye-yi-yi-yi!

HM, heh. Mentally, I can do 10. Physically, more like 110 :(

sassy, yea, there have been moments (weeks?) when I was so profoundly saddened that I never wanted to see a computer again. But still, when I do the math, there are many more people that I still believe are "real" here.

 
Blogger Cheeky said...

OK I am a southern girl and SUEGENE is just crackin me right up!

 
Anonymous Sharkey said...

Suegene is TOTALLY cracking me up too!

Why doesn't it surprise me that even as a freshman you stood up for your principles, but in a humorous (though probably not to your date) way?

 
Blogger Karen said...

I can't get the song "Bluejean" by David Bowie out of my head. Only of course it's "Suegene" now.

One day, I'm gonna write a poem in a letter.
One day, I'm gonna get that faculty together...

 
Blogger Kat said...

I love how you handled that horrible senior! I'm also so proud of you for working towards doing what you love.

 
Anonymous LadyBug said...

I'm bumfuzzled and morbidly curious about your internet warning.

I love you, Miss Susie. And I'm still praying for you. Love and hugs, my friend.

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Susie~ I know, can you believe it?!! I leaned about karma that day..the first and only time, I used that eraser it left a fat oily stain, from the Fritos (and then a tear from me trying to erase the stain) on my otherwise beautiful (IMHO) first grade print, on the one and only piece of lined manila paper Mrs. Chapman allowed us.Even worse, it still stings thinking about it all these years later. I gave thievery a couple more tries over the years, my forte at bad however turned out to be crank calling anyone and everyone. I am the reason there is caller ID today!

 
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

oh jeez, Anon is me... blush..sorry.

 
Blogger Lynn said...

Hi, Susie! I stole something once when I was a kid, too. I didn't feel guilty, though, because I stole from a machine instead of a person and I was much too young to understand that the machine and its contents belonged to a person.

It was the most bizarre thing. It was a candy machine that was not working properly. All you had to do was press the buton and candy would be dispensed -- no money required. I, of course, filled my little-girl purse (and my self) with candy. My parents found it and asked where it had come from, so I had to return the candy and tell the proprietor of her broken machine. It was great while it lasted. Except for the stomach ache. I still don't understand how a vending machine could malfunction that way.

 
Blogger Squirl said...

Just ten more reasons why I love you.

:-D

 
Blogger Amy said...

heh, Sugene.

I love your ten things. I stole a stuffed baby gund from a friend once. Gawd the suffering I endured, that stupid thing burned a hole in my head for years at the back of my closet.

 
Anonymous dawn said...

64 cracked me up, big time! very creative!

i love your answer to #65! I've met a few of those too but not quite as blunt as that guy-wow!

you're too funny :D

 
Blogger Susie said...

cheeky, southerners do love those combined names. Somehow I don't feel like a Suegene, though.

shawkey, I didn't suffer boyfools gladly, back in the day.

karen, I don't know it :(

kat, thanks, I appreciate that. I don't know how it's all going to go, but I'll keep doing what I can.

ladybug, bumfuzzled. Me, too. Thank you, my friend.

elizabeth, I knew it was you, I thought you were just going anon on accounta your being a criminal and all ;) You make about as good a thief as I, it seems. But I, too, was an excellent crank caller.

lynn, I wouldn't call that stealing; I'd call that your lucky day! Except for the tummy ache.

squirl, aw, get outta here.

amy, I think the really good thieves think ahead to how they will use the pilfered item. Us, not so much :)

dawn, yea, that guy was something beyond blunt. Nice to see you :)

 
Blogger Effie said...

are you as bewildered as me as to why Billy Ray Cyrus is STILL THERE???

Anton is a cutie...

Take care Suegene! How's yer mom doin' these days? ;)

Hugs!

 
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

I love learnin' more about you. Even your thievin' ways. However I do now want to kick ass over the mean blog people. You see, Eugene, whomever you are, I wuvs you.

 
Blogger Susie said...

effie, heee, you mean the one who developed the "Who's Your Daddy" move? For one thing, I think it's because he seems like a sweet guy, but mostly I think it's because he's on that Disney show, Hannah Montana, and all the teeny boppers are voting for him. That's just my guess.
Mom's kinda quiet . . . why do you ask? ;)

mysweetkranki, I suspect that you are like me, in that someone can mistreat me and I will be philosophical about it, I will turn the other cheek, etc., but let someone hurt someone I care about, and I might just lose my religion and start pulling on my ass-kicking boots. Thank you for having my back, kranki :)

 
Anonymous Ortizzle said...

I love how you stole that scarf and then couldn't wear it, LOL. That would be a fun blog meme question: confess about something you stole but to date have never told a living soul about.

 
Blogger mrtl said...

You'll have to visit mrtland tonight or tomorrow. Tonight I plan to post my "Entice Susie -- or should I say 'Suegene'? -- to see me next week" plan. It involves a hostage. That's all for now on that.

Maybe we should start looking into one of those robotic voice boxes for you. Maybe it wouldn't be as comforting to hear, "I'm listening. Tell me about your first sexual experience," but it would at least get you back to work sooner.

 
Anonymous kalki said...

Sweetie, get yourself on over to Zappos.com. Or shoes.com. Either way, there's free shipping.

Impractical shoes delivered to your doorstep! No box-lifting required!

 
Blogger Sukie Bitchmont said...

I udnerstand that strange commodity thing, being a yankee transplant into the south myself. It's an odd experience!

 
Blogger little sister said...

Gee, this whole time I figured you were only 52 and morbidly obese...

I love the one about the shrink's going nuts. My fave.

 
Blogger Traci said...

I've wracked my brain and can't for the life of me remember stealing anything. I'm sure I did but geeezzz...this age thing bites!

I've had a therapist go nuts too. Only not in the room with me...more like outside the room...scared me and really pissed me off too because I had to find a new therapist!

Do NOT get me started on Alec Baldwin! His wife is no better in my opinion. My heart literally breaks for their daughter. A wee bit too close to home if you know what I'm sayin'.

 
Blogger Vajana said...

I agree on the Alec Baldwin thing. I've had some bad moments myself, believe it or not.

I LOVE what you said to the freshman. Hilarious.

Thanks for the uplifting words yesterday. I am exactly as I portray myself on my blog, and am honored you still visit me. :) (and I really DO love Star Wars, but I have a job and do not live with my parents anymore)

 
Blogger Susie said...

ortizzle, you really think most people have stolen something? Maybe so.

mrtl, you scare me. :p

kalki, you are a shopper extraordinaire :)

sukie, welcome, and yes, it can be odd.

lilsis, it happens. In fact, it could happen right here at any minute ;)

traci, maybe we should have a day of crazy therapist stories ;)

jana, yea, actually I had an Alec Baldwin moment last night (not quite, but still, glad there weren't cameras rolling). I wish you well with working out your dilemma, there.

 


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