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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Wind Beneath My Wings

OK, first, I really dislike that song. I know a lot of people find it very meaningful, yadda, yadda. But it annoys me. HOWEVER, it suits my purposes today. Two things I aim to do with this here post: thank some people, and do the music meme that I've seen at Nilbo's, Squirl's and Bucky's.

I don't like "The Wind Beneath My Wings" because . . . wind. Who wants to be called "wind?" Like, "You blow." Or "You're a fart." You know? I don't want to be anybody's wind!

BUT . . . I guess it sort of means . . . "you lift me up."* And that's a lovely sentiment. So that's what I want to say to many of you reading this. I've written a couple of emails in the last 24 hours, saying so, but there are a lot more people I want to say it to. In very many ways, you people, most of whom I've never met, and (as much as it hurts my heart a little bit to write this) I never will meet, are more of a support to me than my IRL friends. That's not anything against my IRL friends. I have some stellar friends, who would do anything for me. It's something about me. I've never been one to ask for help. I've been one to offer help. But somewhere along the way, in the last many months here, I've learned to ask for help. And I've gotten it.

My IRL friends would come over and cook, clean, whatever. If I'd let them. (Some of you have offered to come here, from Texas, from Washington, to help out . . . and I swear, I think you would if I'd give you the OK.) I like to feed people. I like to make people laugh. I like people to feel like their spirits have been warmed when they visit my home. I can't produce those effects right now. And I KNOW it's me. I know it's my "issue." No one expects me to produce for them; that's not why they're coming around. But it's hard for me to have visitors and not do those things. It's something I need to grow through, get past, I know. But I'm not there yet.

I can come on here and rant, and cry, and bitch, and be scared. And you don't get in your cars and show up at the door when I don't have any cookies for you. And that works for me, dammit. I couldn't sleep last night/this morning. I went out visiting about 4 a.m. Some of you, I left a note or two for. Some of you I just laughed, or prayed for, or sent you some love, and quietly left. And I didn't wake you up in the process. I'm not going to call or visit an IRL friend at 4 a.m. And I don't want them visiting me. You all visit me when it's convenient for you. I don't worry about imposing on you; I know you're only here because you want to be.

Many of you have sent encouraging notes, funny pictures, jokes and such. Many of you, some who don't even comment, have sent me ideas about what might be wrong with me. And not ONE of those ideas have been off-the-wall, or . . . negative in any way. All thoughtful, reasonable, worth checking into. We're talking about strangers online, people! Isn't that amazing and wonderful? I surely think so. And then, all those of you who send me love and healing energy. And those who pray. And those who have said, in some form, "I don't pray; but I'm making an exception for you." And those whose little ones are praying for me. OK, now you got me misty. Thank you. I PROMISE it makes a difference. I promise I feel better than I would otherwise because you're doing what you're doing. That is what I believe with my whole heart. And sooner or later, one way or another, all will be well. And you helped make that so. BIG SNIFF. Thank you. God bless you.

Now. Where's that meme thing?

What is the first music you remember hearing?
Two things come to mind. I had a little record player with some big, thick orange vinyl 45 rpms. A nice lady sang "A Tisket, A Tasket" on one; and at the end of it was the rhyme:
There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good, she was very, very good
When she was bad, she was horrid!

I aspired to that. The other thing I remember from very, very early, is my mother, singing at the kitchen sink. Hank Williams, Patsy Cline. And with six kids and no dishwasher, she was at the sink a lot.

Did you come from a musical family?
No one played an instrument. But both of my parents sang a lot. Not formally. Just when they were doing what they did. Mom washing dishes. I remember my father singing while he shaved. Which, this moment, I find rather odd. But, he did.

Do you remember a lullaby from your childhood? If so, what is it?
I remember my mother singing the mockingbird song. "Hush little baby, don't say a word, Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird..."

What song(s) changed your life?
This one is tough. Songs keep changing my life. I almost always have a song in my head. God speaks to me through the radio. A lot of hymns come to mind. "Amazing Grace" (btw, a blogfriend sent me herself singing that; how beautiful is that?), "Be Thou My Vision." And some pop songs. Steve Winwood's "Higher Love." That's what we all want. "I will wait for it . . . I'm not too late for it . . . " OK, if you didn't think I was nuts before, you will now: When LG was a tiny baby in the crib, she "sang," perfectly in tune, gibberish syllables to "Ode to Joy." It was just a tad eery. We did not (to my knowledge) play that song at home. We heard it maybe once or twice a year at church . . . but my baby was "singing" it. Daily. She talked very early, and when she was old enough and I heard her singing "her" song, I asked her, "Where did you learn that song?" And she said, in 18-month-old speak, "From the little brown-haired girl who comes in my crib when you and Daddy are asleep. She teached it to me." Insert Twilight Zone music. I'm just telling you what the kid said. Believe it or not. I can't say it "creeped me out," because, I find it quite lovely. I guess it confirmed my belief that we arrive here on the planet with access to a lot more knowledge, more truth, more beauty, than we have by the time we are adults and those avenues of access have been blocked somehow.

If you could have dinner with three dead musicians which three would you choose and why?
Well, I will clarify, as Nils did, that I ain't sitting down to a meal with no damned dead-ass people. (But Nils didn't say it like that, because he's a professional communicator, not a Snoop Dogg/Dr. Phil hybrid.) But if they came back to life for the occasion . . . let's see . . . Elvis. Marvin Gaye. Handel. Elvis, because . . . handsome, brilliant, kind, in need of a good shrink. Marvin Gaye because . . . brilliant, sexy, Dude, your father SHOT YOU? What's up with THAT? And Handel . . . well, I never get over marvelling at the Messiah. I want to know, from one in the know, what it feels like to be possessed by that kind of intense, concentrated brilliance.

You are stranded on a deserted island. You are allowed the complete musical works of one band and its members. Which band or musician would you choose?
This one isn't too tough for me. The Neville Brothers. They have everything. They are a blend of so many different kinds of music. They have music that makes me think; makes me dance; makes me feel like rebelling against something; makes me feel like I've been to church. I loves me some Nevilles.

Does music play in your head? If so, what is playing right now?
Ohmygosh, yes. Whether I like it or not. Right now . . . Melissa Etheridge, "Keep it Precious."

Can music truly soothe the savage beast? If so, what music soothes your beast?
OK, as others have pointed out, the quote is actually "savage BREAST." But I think you're supposed to pass the meme on with the original error intact. Either way, though, yes, music can truly soothe the beast, the breast, the beast's breasts, whatever. This is tough, because I don't often use music to alter my mood. I'm more likely to choose music that matches my mood. And maybe that helps me move through the mood, if it's an unpleasant one. I know when I have insomnia, I'm always tickled to find an infomercial for the Time-Life Soul Ballads Collection. Or even the *gasp* disco collection. Maybe nostalgic music soothes my beasty breasts. Breasty beasts. Soul music. R&B. Funk. They're probably the most likely genres to change my mood for the better.

So, you wanna do the meme? Do it here or at your place, and tell us about it :)

*OK, it occurred to me as I wrote that, I could have used Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up," which is not a bad song at all, and I could have totally avoided the objectionable "Wind Beneath My Wings" thing. But then I would have had no excuse to say, "you blow," or "you're a fart," and really, what would this rambling post be without those two bits of profundity? Hmm?

file under: &Memes &Meta-blogging &Partial Nudity

34 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger LadyBug said...

You've inspired me, Miss Susie. I think I may have to do the musical meme after all.

Love. Prayers. Virtual Hugs. Every moment, every day.

Blogger Amy said...

What a lovely long post.
How I love Patsy Cline! What a perfect match for dishes she is.
Something about what you said about LG and us being born with more wondrousness reminds me of Wordsworth.

Blogger MrsDoF said...

Way back in the days when my guy and I were getting to know each other with the same group of friends at the table in the college cafeteria, I was handed a sheet of paper.
I don't remember why it was felt that I needed the cheering up.
One of my girlfriends had copied a round head ZIGGY comic strip character, then my guy wrote with calligraphy letters

"Blessed are those who can Give without remembering, and Take without forgetting"

After all this time, the paper got discolored, and tape marks show on the corners, and I got it laminated trying to save it.

We each must take a turn with the giving and the receiving.
I remember well the morning after I had surgery on my hands and my 13 year old son had to hook my bra for me. We won't go into the details about modesty must prevail, but I was quite grateful for his efforts.

And yeah, Patsy Cline and doing dishes, except it was my dad at the sink. Mom cooked, so the rest of us cleaned up.

Blogger ieatcrayonz said...

Maybe these Internets feel more like real friends because we don't have the usual discomforts that occur when we're face to face. If you tell me something terrible or sad, I can break down crying privately, and you'd never know it unless I told you.

That's why we'll never give up on you. Ever.

I remember you telling me that story about LG's "Ode to Joy" months back. Sometimes we get to meet our guardian angels, and sometimes we don't. You are blessed to have met yours. All of us.

Blogger Squirl said...

We all love you, hon. It's easy to pray/hope/send love because we can't imagine your not getting well. We want to move it along and will do what we need to make that happen. I think it's horrible that you've been so sick, but wonderful that you've learned to accept help. That's a hard one and take a lot of courage. :)

I grew up more with show tunes, classical music and popular music from the 40's. But music in the home is still music in the home and that's good.

I love how LG learned the song. I firmly believe that these things happen. We're always watched over.

And I can't stand that stupid wind/wings song. Loved the Divine Ms M, then she got kinda sappy for a while. ;)

Love ya, sis!

Aacckkk! Why does my word ver have pud in it?

Anonymous Ern said...

I love music. I've been thinking I might do this meme too, it really gets to the heart of a person.

Have you heard the story (possibly myth, I suppose) (which I will now proceed to butcher and paraphrase and abbreviate) about when Handel finished writing the Messiah? He had locked himself in a room while writing it. Someone (friend, neighbor, I can't remember) came over when he was done, and Handel opened the door with a wide-eyed expression of awe and said, "I have seen the Christ!"

Love and hugs to you, prayers for you, Susie.

[I'm not logging in, because I'm on a lab computer...]

Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...


You are the helium in my red balloon. :o)

Blogger eclectic said...

I agree there's something almost sinister about (breaking) wind beneath my (Always with) wings. *hee hee*

If we seem like good peeps here, it's partly because that's the side of us you bring out, Miss Fairchild. Honest. This blog is your mirror, reflecting back to you what you've sent out: love.

Blogger Lynn said...

I, too, make lots of late night visits to my lovely blog friends. It's comforting.

Anonymous Katy said...

I'm such a goob. I had to look up the meaning of IRL!

Anyway, what a beautiful post here today from you. Yeah, that "Wind" song is downright tacky. I had to sing that thing at a wedding once.

LG was some kind of intelligent toddler. I'm not sure what to make of that brown-haired girl!

I have known you off and on for many, many years but realize there is so much about you I don't know. That's why I get such a kick out of reading your responses to the music meme exercise.

I will answer one of the memes right here. The one about a song that changed my life. It was when we were juniors in high school, I believe. I had been learning how to play the guitar and had checked out a Joan Baez album from the library. I wanted to BE Joan Baez about then. I sang (my first solo public performance) "The Cherry Tree Carol" for the class and afterward asked you, "Did I sound like Joan Baez?!" And you replied, "No, you sounded like Katy." Thank you for that. It got me on the road to wanting to be myself, which is the road we all need to be on. I don't know what I ever did to deserve such a great friend as you. Do you remember the other GREAT song from high school--"Raymond in the Night?" Sorry, I can't resist getting silly!

It's time for me to shut up.

Blogger Susie said...

ladybug, I'll come and see. My secret linky page hasn't caught up to your new digs yet. (That's a hint, secret linky page person!) But I'll come find you ;)

amy, you are a diplomat. It's longer than it is lovely, I fear. Patsy Cline was/is something else, and yes, perfect dishwashing music. Wordsworth, eh? Yea, a diplomat ;)

mrsDoF, that is a lovely quote. You are very close to me right this minute. I'll write and tell you why. It's pretty amazing.

crayonangel, you're purty smart for somebody who munches crayolas. Thanks for the not giving up. Me neither. I keep going back to that Sunday Post: That which doesn't kill us is gonna wish that it had.

squirl, you're so sweet to me. That's why you got "pud." You're a puddin'. You are right, accepting help is HUGE. And necessary, for all of us, at some point. If we don't learn that, we suffer more than we have to.

stealthern, I am sure I have heard something like that story. It truly does amaze me, move me, that music, the story. Thanks for the prayers and stuff :)

MoDis, well, that's like wind, too, but that's wind that makes you talk funny. That works ;)

eclectic, that is the sweetest comment. There you go, all Krispy Kreme on me!

lynn, it truly is.

katy, don't call my friend a goob! No reason you should have known that :) You, too, with the very sweet comment. You won't believe this -- except you have to, because it's true -- but when I was thinking of music that makes me feel better, I almost wrote that any CD with my friend, Katy, singing, makes me feel better. It's true. I love your voice. I especially love the Cherry Tree Carol. And the story that you tell here. Now...Raymond in the Night. I do sort of remember that. I remember "Cherries in the Night (I like to eat them...)" Surely that was the same song/same night. And I remember "Settin' the Woods on Fire," and of course, "Cover of the Skyland Post." That song changed a portion of my life. heeheee. Don't be silly, it's not at all time for you to shut up :) I'll write soon. I'm so happy you stopped in today.

Blogger Karen said...

Thanks for your comments on my blog. They make a difference to me.
I'm not sure if I'll do the meme, but I probably will. I want to say something that the "Wind Beneath My Wings" reminded me of.

A clothing store I shop at has come up with a brilliant idea of designing different styles of pants for different shapes. Then they name the styles after cities. My city (shape) is Chicago. I made the mistake of telling my wonderful husband that. He was making "wind" jokes for the rest of the evening.

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Hey doll!

First off, one of the songs on our alarm clock this morning was "Up Where We Belong" from Joe Cocker and that chick, whatever her name was, and since I heard it this morning, the song is running through my head with the lyrics "...love lift us up where we belong / on a mountain high / where eagles fly..." so I felt COMPELLED to share that with you. It was a song from either a prom or some other high school dance.

Secondly, darlin... you say the word, I'll show up at your house and I'll bring my own cookies. I'll even share 'em with you all. ;)

I had that same "Tisket,Tasket" record, and my grandfather used to say that rhyme with the little girl and the curl all the time. He also used to say "A peanut lay on a railroad track, it's heart was all a-flutter / Along came engine Number Nine / Toot-Toot! Peanut Butter!"

The story about LG in her crib and the song and the "little brown-haired girl" touches me.

Love you, Susie Q. You're never far from my thoughts.

Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Darn it. I couldn't comment yesterday and now I've forgotten my brillian contribution to this post.

I was probably going to make a comment about how The Neville Brothers don't always do it for me. I think if you took Aaron out of the picture, it'd be closer. Some of the sounds they do are great, but when he does his helium voice, I'm out.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I tried to comment yesterday but blogger wouldn't let me! Grrr... today, I'm simply happy to see you this morning my friend. As for the music meme thingy, there is no way in the world I could answer any of those questions because, well, just because! Music is such a huge part of my life, it would be impossible to choose! I pray you have a peaceful day sweetie.

Blogger Nina said...

So that way you banging around at 4 am and not a squirrel falling down the chimney? Oh wait I had to get up and let the squirrel out of the house. . . so no it was a squirrel. But you are welcome at my place any time day or night.

Blogger Susie said...

karen, thank you for saying that; I don't feel like I make much of a difference many places lately. You make me think of the song, "Everyone Knows It's Windy.." You might be just a hair too young to remember that one. I shudder to think of what city my pants are . . .

ck, :) You just make me smile. I KNOW you would hook us up with the cookies. I like that song; Officer and A Gentleman song. Joe Cocker and Jennifer...Warrens? Warnes? something like that. Yes, a very prommy, weddy song.

mrB, a year or two ago, the Nevilles performed near here in a small theater. A sign on the ticket window said, "Aaron is sick blah blah." I was disappointed, but I've seen them enough to know it would still be a helluva show. MANY people, many RUDE people had hissy-fits because Aaron was all they knew. You probably would have loved it. They were excellent, as always.

amazinggracietraci, I know what you mean. I wanted to do it, but feel I've left SO much out, because music is always playing between my ears, too.

nina, yea, if it'd been me in the chimney, I wouldn't have made it all the way down. I might surprise you some day, but I'll use the door. Or at least the window ;)

Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I need to do an audio FauxPression of him. hehe

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Mr. B - DO IT!

You *know* it would make Susie's day!

Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I can only do it if I remember this certain song that I used to poke fun at. So far, it ain't coming to me and Susie is safe.

Anonymous peaches said...

Since I read this, I can't get the mockingbird song out of my head. Susie, you're subliminal!

I fully believe LG's little brown-haired girl. This part:

'I guess it confirmed my belief that we arrive here on the planet with access to a lot more knowledge, more truth, more beauty, than we have by the time we are adults and those avenues of access have been blocked somehow.'

I fully believe that. I also believe, even through blogging, God can guide his children to others that need Him, and need prayer or just good thoughts or vibes.

I remember how I ''met" you, and i'll never forget. You were my angel then. You were NEVER the wind beneath any part of me ;-)

Blogger Susie said...

ck, you are so right about the making of my day...

mrB, "Tell It Like It Is"? "Don't Know Much"? hmmm....

peaches, you jumped right into a special peachy place in my heart, very early in this blogging thing. And yes, I have seen many times, evidence of God's hand through this medium. Thank you, sweetheart. No one's ever called me subliminal. I like it!

Anonymous Emma said...

Hi Susie

Just sending you some blove. I'm glad your internet friends give you comfort and help when you're feeling rough and it's nice you can visit in the middle of the night without disturbing anyone. I've been visiting you in the early hours of the morning now for quite a while but it's OK, it's just the time difference. :)

Hang in there, we all think of you every day.

Emma xx

Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

Hiya Susie

I love the story with LG and her special brown haired angel. I really believe in that stuff.

You are so good to us we are all glad we can be there for you. I wish I didn't have to be there for you. Ah, you know what I mean. I wish that there was no WTF disease not that I wish I was watching Montel instead of commenting.

Gah! I'll shut up now!

Blogger Nilbo said...

I adore my imaginary friends, too. And I love being counted among yours.

As to the outpourings of affection and goodwill, may I quote one of my dinner guests"

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."

You've had all this coming, Susie.

Blogger Mainline Mom said...

Oh Susie, you crack me up. You said exactly how I feel about blogfriends, because I am completely like you in needing to feed my visitors cookies and such.

And I think I WILL do the musical meme, because I SOOO love music. So it's coming soon. Be well my dear.

Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Susie, allow me to provide another perspective on “Wind Beneath My Wings.” I’m not so enthralled by the song either, but that’s primarily because it seems to be the central song used in a dozen or so weddings that I have officiated over the years. I rather got tired of hearing it, especially in perplexing renditions sung by obvious amatures, some of whom may have been the bride’s best friend, but who couldn’t carry a tune if their lives depended upon it.

Now, to the other perspective that I used to convince myself that the song was appropriate for a wedding/service of worship. Rather than equating “wind” with "You blow" or "You're a far," I equated it with the Greek word, “pnuema,” which can be translated as “wind,” but also as “breath” and “spirit”—like in Holy Spirit. So, when I heard some 19-year-old screeching out “Wind Beneath my Wings,” I also heard “Breath Beneath my Wings” and “Spirit Beneath my Wings.”

Blogger MilkMaid said...


Blogger Mainline Mom said...

OK Susie I played :) And I'm actually quite surprised by my own answers!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Susie,
My name is Susan.
I am sorry to bother you.
I am a friend of Nina's.
She sent me an email this morning.
I am unable to email out. My computer is messed up... :(
I read her blog but I correspond through email.
I am unable to post on her blog (?)
I don't have a blog.
I am trying to post on your blog in hopes that it will go through.
If youy get this please email her and tell her that I got her email.
Please thank her and tell her that I am with her all the way! :)
Thanks, Susan

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Susie,
It's me again.
Please disregard my last post.
My post did go through on Nina's blog.
I didn't realize that it takes a bit of time for the posts to post!
Meanwhile I've probably driven Soozie crazy, not to mention Nina.
but... at least now I know how to post!

Blogger Susie said...

emma, thanks for stopping in. I've been thinking of you!

kranki, I like Montel :) Thank you for being there for me. I am well-snuggled, thanks to you. And I am zipping right through the book :)

nilbo, I . . . thank you.

mainline mom, I enjoyed your music meme :)

ssnick, as you have demonstrated so many times, you are generous to a fault. Waaaaay to generous to that song ;)

Hi, milkmaid! Thanks for stopping by :)

susan, no bother at all, and I'm quite sure no one's any crazier than they were before ;)

Anonymous torrie said...

I aspire to be as amazing a person as you are.

Blogger Susie said...

Aw, torrie, get outta here. I aspire to be as amazing as some of y'all give me credit for. Three Musketeers are VERY good for you, btw :)


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