gosh! i got nuthin' funny. just lots of continued prayers. (pee.s.: i had an IVP yesterday, but luckily no stones. perhaps you've cornered the market on them? ;) ::hugs::

Gee, Susie, you poor lady. I guess I'll try this:

GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE, YOU BASTARD!!

I am neither witty nor forceful (well, not today) so I will leave the scaring to oldhorsetailsnake -- he's got me scared, so it ought to be doing something for that stone. Unless it's, well... made of stone or something.

Hmmm.

What if we tried to coax it out? "Here stoney, stoney, stoney. Come on out now. Don't be shy."

Oh, Susie, I'm so sorry that wretched rock is lodged in your pee pee. :(

Perhaps you should attempt what Jess did and try Romancing the Stone?

NO!! I do NOT want you to be in more pain, and I do NOT want you to get cut in the pee-pee, and I do NOT want you to get pummeled in the kidney, and this is obviously ALL about what I want.

DAMN stone! I'm with Ol' Hoss: "GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE, YOU BASTARD STONE!"

Uh-oh, now lookit what you did, Mr. Kidney Stone: you made me cuss. Bad. On Rev. Susie's blog!

***hanging head in shame***

I am so sorry . . . a stuck stone. Sending hugs, love and prayers. My word verification is zsazmefp sound about right about now. I don't have a clue what it means.

This just sucks. I wish you didn't have to go through this. I am sending all the good vibes your way to move the not so little sucker outta there!

Word ver is warjrk=it is WAR you JERK stone!!!

Bloggers commenting issue is apparently resolved! YEA!

This just bites that the damn thing is STUCK! Maybe Jif can go in with tweezers? My attempt at something funny.

;-)

I hope the increase in meds and something to relax that area- that just sounds wrong- will help.
Sending prayers, have sent, and will send more.

Love,
Dawn

Drink a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew. After a can of that stuff, I need to piss like a racehorse. Two full litres should make you pee like a firehose, providing enough pressure to help you pass a brick.

I think Metro has the right idea. Drink enough stuff like the Dew or coffee that will make you have to pee anyway...then wait until you can't stand it...and the force of the pee will knock that baby loose!

May the force of the pee be with you!

I'm not so much with the funny but I'm very good with the sincere and I'm quite sincere in hoping and praying that one of your other commenters' suggestions works.

I hope that damned stone does its thing like its supposed to—and fast! That’s what I’m praying!

On the other request, here’s a preview of my next Monday jokes post:

A 90 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."
The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle."
"And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumfounded, the old man replied "No".
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor.

raz, yea, I coulda saved you the trouble. I contain, or have contained, all the kidney stones in the known world :(

hoss, keep trying, sounds about as effective as anything else I've got.

karen, this is good; my mom always said "you catch more flies with honey . . . "

bucky, you know what I think of your weply :p

eclectic, fine, let it be all about you. I would love to let it be all about you, in this case

nina, maybe that is the sound the stone will make when it comes flying out?

momo, keep the love and the prayers coming; I like them so much better than talk of surgeries and stents and wtf else has been talked about :(

kranki, you are a professional ass-kicker, in the area of medical disorders, so you can be the commander-in-chief of this war.

lawbrat, any other time, such a comment would cause flinching, clenching and such. Now, I say, "honey, bring the tweezers..."

closet metro and andrea, you CANNOT be peepeedocs! Neither can I, because I had the same idea. Doc says NO!!! because if the blockage becomes complete and I am over-liquidated (that's not the word he used), then everything backs up and I have kidney damage and yadda yadda yadda. So I am only to drink as much as I need, and keep hoping, praying, taking pain meds, taking PROSTATE meds, of all things, and monitoring that there is still SOME FLOW flowing. There you go, more than you ever hoped to know about my plumbing. More than I ever hoped to know about my plumbing :(

cori, thank you so much, and please keep up the praying. Put me on lists, if you know of any lists. I really want to be done with this.

ssnick, thank you for the joke :) And thank you for the prayers.

Praying, praying, praying.

Okay, now it's time for the damned stone to leave. YOU HEAR ME STONE? THAT'S MY SISTER YOU'RE HURTING THERE. WHO THE HELL GAVE YOU THE RIGHT? GET THE FUCK OUT.

I hope that helps.