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Monday, March 13, 2006

IP Rocks!

No, I am not extolling the virtues of Internet Protocol. I am giving you an update. I am telling you about my new hobby, as of this evening: I P rocks. Little ones. Into a strainer. That is my first new hobby. My second new hobby is taking Percocet. Guess which hobby I like better?

They tell me all went well. They also tell me -- and I didn't expect this -- that I may P rocks for up to three weeks! But it could also be for just a couple of days. Guess which prognosis I like better?

Thank you for checking in. It does mean a lot to me. I am in pretty serious pain, after the initial anesthesia wore off. It does feel like I've been punched in the kidney. At least, it feels like I imagine that would feel. I think tomorrow will be better.

I also want you to know (I am telling the truth here!) that the first words out of my mouth as I was waking up from the anesthesia were, "Circus Kelli is out front selling kidney stone t-shirts with tongues," followed by giggling. I should be thankful they didn't ship me directly to the nut hut at that point.

Thanks, you all. Blove you :)

58 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger Squirl said...

Susie, we're glad you're not in the nut hut. Some people Bucky, say stranger things when coming out of anesthesia.

Hope the pain and the rocks both stop very, very soon.

Lots of love, sis

Blogger Closet Metro said...

we all love the stones. Fred & Barney.

Blogger sheriff of nothing said...

Get well soon!!! Try and keep your chin up!

Blogger August95 said...

Oh Susie, I am glad you are on this side of your surgery. Sorry about your pain. You only feel like you have been kicked in the kidneys... because you have been kicked in the kidneys.

Remember to take some time to feel better and relax. Let Buscuit fluff your pillows and bring you tea and make him wear his tutu while he does it.

Hugs and Blove to you Dear Susie.

Anonymous Sharkey said...

What? I thought this WAS the nut hut! I must be in the wrong place . . .

Hope you're feeling better soon!

Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

You get to pee into a strainer?

You've come a long way from that little suitcase, haven't you?

Now I want to go watch Rocky and think of you.

Blogger Andrea said...

Percocet, woohoo!

Glad all went well. Hope U P all the rocks out in the next couple of days!

Blogger momo said...

IP Rocks, girl you are a hoot!

I'm glad to hear you are doing okay, and I'll pray that it's only the "couple of days" prognosis.

Circus Kelli, that shirt Rocks!

Blogger Jim said...

Let me know when the pee'd out stones go up for auction on eBay - I want to be the first on my block to get a rock.

verification word: tseue. French for Kleenex

Blogger eclectic said...

So... now the 'Stones are Rubble?? That rocks!! ;)

Here's hoping the strainer is only briefly employed, and the percocet is long-lasting, and Biscuit's tutu doesn't get caught in your tea. Feel better soon, my sweet sister!

Blogger Ern said...

That's right! You kick those stones to the curb. Er, to the strainer!

I hope you're feeling much better very soon.

Blogger oopseedaisee said...

Sent here by August95.
Sorry you are in pain. You must be quite a gal, to be posting such funny stuff in your condition... or is that the Percocet talking?

Blogger mrtl said...

Enjoy the percocet, dear. I don't want to try to imagine the pain. ugh!

Blogger Annejelynn said...

ahhh, blessed be the percocet for our Susie~! get well soon!

Blogger WILLIAM said...

Enjoy the percs. Glad it went okay.

Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Pee 'em out
Shoot 'em out
WAY out!

Blogger little sister said...

Augh! Get well soon, Susie!

Hope the percocets make it bearable. ugh.

*hugs* and blove back atcha!

Blogger Jomama said...

Get well soon, Susie!

Blogger Susie said...

squirl, don't tease us, you must tell us what our little Bucky said :)

closetmetro, for some reason, I was thinking of them yesterday, especially the "we'll have a gay old time" part. . .don't know why

sheriff, welcome; we don't often get law enforcement around here :)

august, I have to tell you, yesterday, when I was at my worst, I was crying, and calling for Jif, but he was as far away as he could be, in the house. Biscuit ran out of the bedroom barking, and Jif said Biscuit came and stared him down, until he got up and then Biscuit ran toward my room, going back to get Jif and make sure he was following. That VBD finally did something good. It was a real "Timmy's in the well" moment.

sharkey, of course you're right, this is the nut hut; just this one, you can leave when you want ;)

bucky, my suitcase was so much more fun :(

andrea, me, too, I want to do speed peeing of those things, and get it over with.

momo, thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement :)

jim, you and I could make a deal, we'll cut out the middle man ;) Um, did I mention there's one in the shape of Wonder Woman?

eclectic, you punny girl ;) Thank you, sis.

ern, thank you, I'm working on it.

oopseedaisee, welcome, thanks for stopping in. It's definitely the drugs.

mrtl, I'm sure you can imagine it, having had a little bit of pain yourself recently. You got a heck of a lot more to show for yours, though.

annejelynn, thank you; I'm trying to take it slow with them, but I am glad to have them.

william, percs. You're funny.

mrB, now see, this is what I was talking about, that you would need to improve your cheering skillz. EXCELLENT.

thank you, lilsis, hugs welcome.

thank you, JOMAMA!, that's the plan :)

Blogger Hippo said...

Hey, I hope your feeling better, that sounded dumb and cliche but its true.

Finally, a little secret the Dr's don't tell ya...drop of few Budweisers with those percosets and you'll be feelin' fine in no time.

Dr H.O. Potamus-Pharmacist

Anonymous kalki said...

Glad you're doing alright and keeping your sense of humor!

Blogger ieatcrayonz said...

Yay! IP rocks is much better than IP blood and when IP it hurts.

Get better soon, sweet Susie.

Blogger abcd said...

Is the Percocet doing it for you?
Hopefully you are feeling better
today. I am going to see if I can
use "your medical terminiology"

Rest up, and do not operate any
heavy machinery while on the Percoct. Which means you have a free pass on any house cleaning for
weeeks. :)


This has taken about 40 minutes
to write. Why do people walk in
your office when the door is closed?

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Bwahahahahaha! Oh Susie...

I'm so glad all went well, and I sincerely hope that you are feeling MUCH better today and every day from now. You pee rocks? Wow. That's pretty nifty. Do they have tongues?

What are you gonna do with the stones? You could maybe make them into a necklace and earrings... you know, or not.

Blogger LadyBug said...

So glad things went well, dear. And what a bonus, that you've found yourself a couple new hobbies in the process!

You were in my thoughts and prayers all day yesterday. I think the fact that you woke up talking about your blogging buddies was just God's way of letting you know we were all lifting you up in prayer.

Love and hugs to you, my friend.

P.S. "The Nut Hut" was the name of a little shop in the Mall where I grew up, where they sold (what else?) various nuts and candies. Hee.

Blogger Nina said...

If they ship you to the nut hut, tell em you want the one in Colorado. We could do it out patient and you could stay here with the other pee~nuts. That was bad, but I just couldn't help it. Glad they gave you drugs . . . glad it is over, or at least the worse part. I don't have a clue what it is like to pee stones but did I tell you I am glad they gave you drugs.

Blogger Girl.A said...

I hope your hoo hoo feels better very soon.

Blogger Karen said...

I am hoping that the couple of days prognosis is the accurate one. I loved the Biscuit story -- very heartwarming. ;-) Feel better soon, Susie. (Sending you blog love.)

Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie - I had some work done on my lady parts a few years ago, and they had to put me out for it. I had a friend who had me all worked up, thinking I was gonna spill all the details of my sex life while I was under.

So, as I'm waking up, what's the first thing I blurt out?

"I didn't tell you all my passwords, did I?"

The nurses all laughed, of course, but I think yours is more fun.

Blogger eviluncledave said...

word verification: vtrxqu

Even your verification words have rocks in the middle today....

Hope to hear that you're feeling a lot better very soon.

Blogger Amy said...

Heres to the couple of days and not the weeks, Susie. GeT WeLL SooN!

Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

It is now tomorrow. Better?

(Well, just think how much better it will feel when you are COMPLETELY well.)

Blogger No_Newz said...

I hope the pain subsides soon. Or at least ya got some good drugs to get you through. Have you thought about buying a stainless steel toilet? You could be like STOMP everytime you P. ;)
Seriously hoping for a speedy recovery for you.
Lois Lane

Anonymous lawbrat said...

Hmmm, interesting comments here. Very interesting. ;-)

I hope they're all peed out quickly, and your back to your normal self really soon! Well, as normal as normal can be.

Love to you!!

Blogger Cindy said...

Hurray that the procedure is over with! I hope you feel better quickly - but not too quickly where you think you're okay enough to start doing things that will hurt later. Rest and relax. I'm glad you're going to be better. :-)

Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

So glad that the worst is over and you are home where things are comfy for the most part. Or getting comfy with the drugs. take care and hugs to you.

Blogger Candace said...

Oh, babycakes! I've been absent for a while so I'm out of the loop! I hope you're feeling better ASAP and I hope you have lovely Percoset dreams (I know *I* did, mostly starring my boyfriend Ewan McGregor).

Blogger Squirl said...

Well, looks like Bucky told her own story. I love that one. Just shows where her mind really is.

And that Biscuit story is great. Now his title will have to change to MVBD, mostly very bad dog.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

Blogger eclectic said...

Did Bucky actually just say "girl parts" when referring to her monkey?? Alright, time to phone the fed. She's obviously been abducted by aliens. Who is this person masquerading as Bucky???! I want my sister back!

Blogger Susie said...

hippo, you're trying to kill me, aren't you? just because I told your wife to leave you . . .

kalki, thanks, sweetie. I do thank God for humor, can't imagine where I'd be without it.

crayonmouth, oh, but I still have all of the above :( But hopefully, less and less so.

nikki, you need a "GO AWAY, I'm blog surfing" sign; that'll do it. My drugs are working quite well, actually. Doing OK :)

ck, if I make jewelry, I will definitely send it to you ;)

ladybug, I like that a lot, I am sure you're right, God was letting me feel all the love :)

nina, pee-nuts? Oh, nina. That is HORRIBLE. And I love it, of course. I am a total pee-nut, throughout this whole ordeal. These posts are the pee-nut diaries . . .

girl.a, thanks for the hoo hoo wishes :)

karen, thank you; and I am happy to have a reason to like Biscuit, for a change.

bucky, that is good. Passwords. Not as good as the details of your sex life, but still, good.

eud, I am sure you'll be hearing such things soon :) I'm happy to see your rooster here, he makes me smile.

amy, thanks, honey, I'll drink to that. Cranberry juice . . .

hoss, today is indeed better than yesterday, and I'm sure I'll say the same tomorrow :)

loislane, I am all about finding distractions from the pain . . . and that stainless steel toilet would SO do that . . . excellent idea! And thank you for coming by ;)

peaches, thank you, good that you qualified that "normal" thing; if you want me to be myself, then "normal" really isn't in the equation, is it? :0

cindy, thank you; and that is good advice, I want to pick up where I left off, and I think that's not wise just yet.

kranki, thank you, my friend. This experience has really highlighted my NEED for a laptop. How can I blog from bed, when the only computer is in the family room?! Life is so tough, sometimes ;)

candace, celebrity dreams with Percocet? Hmmm . . . maybe Johnny . . . maybe Matthew . . . dare I say it . . . BOTH? :)

squirl, yea, imagine, Bucky outing herself? ;)

eclectic, I think Bucky used that terminology to distinquish from her "alleged schlong," which she has mentioned more often, here :)

Blogger Nina said...

(These posts are the pee-nut diaries)
Okay that had me laughing out loud. :)

Blogger hellokittn said...

Being a computer geek, I laughed my ever-loving ass off!!!!!

So happy things are on the up-and-up! Hope all is back to normal soon!


Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Blessings to ya! Heal well and fast!

Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...


Yes, I said "lady parts."
I could have said "naughty bits" or "hoo hoo dilly" or "coochie snorcher" but I didn't.

Nor did I mention "bearded clam" or "peeing puppet" or "milky kitty."

Even I have my limits.

Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

oh enjoy your percocet, but remember pain killers constipate you, so drink lots of juice and water!

Cause once your done peein rocks, we dont want you to be pooping them.

Glad your feeling better, sorta, and that it will be over soon, sorta.

SMOOCHES from the Betards and me.

Blogger Cori said...

I hope you're feeling much, much better very, very soon. Just keep drinking and peeing. Enjoy those Darvocets!:)

Blogger Susie said...

nina, the thought of you laughing outloud, at my misery . . . makes me very happy ;)
(I know, I know ;)

chchchchia, hooray for you, too. Would you buy my "laugh your ass off" DVD? Still trying to make that happen . . .

ssnick, that all sounds like a plan, thank you :)

bucky, so thankful for your limits . . . where did I hear "coochie snorcher?" Was that the VMs?

jess, thanks for the advice; I had heard that, but forgotten it; I'll be careful. I came to your place, but was too pissed (heh) to say anything when that ass insulted your kids :(

cori, thank you, nice to see you :)

Blogger abcd said...

I hope today finds you feeling better. If not continue on with your Percocet. No sense in having

As far as the "Go Away sign I am
blogging". I could put up any sign and they still walk through that door. Most of them think the door
is just an illusion. While I have no children, these residents are
under the impression I am their MOM. To which I respond, "I don't
think so." But I keep those thoughts under my hat.

Feel better,

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Are you done peeing rocks yet?

The kids would totally LOVE the rock-jewelry... you know, until I tell them what those rocks REALLY are. Hmmm. Maybe you should sell them on eBay. :) You could throw in a free t-shirt with purchase, and sign it "Susie Fairchild" with permanent marker.

Heh, clearly, I need a little more rest or a WHOLE lot more caffeine!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I'm still stuck on the vision of peeing through a strainer! Amazing. Hope you're feeling better babe!

Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie - yes, coochie snorcher is from the Vagina Monologues.

Blogger hellokittn said...

I would so buy your DVD. Probably get two copies even :D.

Blogger abcd said...

I almost think I have carpel tunnel
from scrooling through all these

I know you are the new "rock star".
But are you singing yet? Can you
get up and shake your boo-teeeeeee?

WE have a tour to get ready for, no
bailing on this gig.

Your MEAN Sister Shoshie
I just love my blog sister Susie.

Don't "be crushing your Percocet"
and smoking that stuff.

Blogger August95 said...

Hello Ms. Susie.

Just wanted to drop in and say hello and see how you are feeling today.

I hope you are done with the rock peeing. I also hope you are resting and letting people care for you.

Big Hugs to you

Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Does it sound like teeny steel drums in there, Susie?

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Wake up, lil Susie, WAKE UP!
Wake up, lil Susie, WAKE UP!

It's 4 o'clock,
You pee rocks,
and we're in trouble deep

Wake up, lil Susie,
It's time to post to the blog...

Blogger Nilbo said...

I go away and the world goes to hell. I just hope you feel better very soon and that you don't get a re-straining order.

Blogger Susie said...

nikki, clearly, a BIGGER sign is in order: Go away, I am blog surfing, and I AIN'T YO' MAMA!

ck, not done :(

traci, oh nonono! There are much better images to get stuck on here! Pick one of Bucky's euphemisms, or LoisLane's musical potty . . . almost anything would be preferable to the one you've chosen!

bucky, funny how that one stuck in my head

chchchchia, you know I would send you an autographed copy :)

meanshoshie, I could be persuaded to smoke something right about now, shosh. And look at my new post, I'm rehearsing for the tour! What it is, what it is...

august, still rocking steady, but people are being very good to me, in real world and here :)

bucky, there is no rhythm :( Wait, didn't George Michael have something to say about that?

ck, someone had the DJ play that at our wedding. But without the pee part.

nilbo, when I read that this morning, I was quite entertained. But you're right, you can do better ;)


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