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Monday, March 13, 2006

The Stones' Farewell (European)Tour


Today will be the final European performance of the (infectious kidney) Stones, before they are "blown up." I'm off this morning to the surgi-center to get some of my parts pulverized. Good times.

The brilliant entrepreneur, Circus Kelli, has designed t-shirts (above) to commemorate the occasion. She has obtained a vendor's permit and will be hawking the shirts outside the hospital during the procedure.

I won't be having much fun, but I certainly don't want that to stop y'all. So, if there's anything you'd like to sell, or any performance art that you'd like to perform, or whatever, please state your intentions here in the comments, and you, too, will be granted a permit to do what you do. As long as it is a tasteful proposal -- you know, as tasteful as a depiction of a kidney stone with a tongue coming out of it :p

23 heads are better than one . . .

Anonymous lawbrat said...

Nothin' like a good laugh first thing Monday morning! You Go Girl, with your pulverizing stones!
Will it be like lazer tag? You know, dr. with the lazer, trying to shoot the stones as they try to hide? That would be fun. You know, if it wasent on your body.
I'm saying a prayer for you this morning. Be well, and the t-shirts just ROCK!

Anonymous Sharkey said...

The t-shirts totally rock. Good luck today--I'll be thinking of you. Hope everything comes out okay!

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Good luck, Susie! I'll be thinking of you!

Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Rawk on, dude! Like, wow, fer shure.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of you today my dear. It's far too early in the day for me to have a creative thought in my head!

Blogger LadyBug said...

I wanted to come by last night to tell you I'd be thinking about you this morning, Susie. But my server decided it hates me, and I could. not. get ANYWHERE on the ol' www!

So, I guess I'll be needing a permit to shove a spike-covered, phallic-shaped object up Yahoo's ass?

That's tasteful, right?

P.S. You're in my thoughts and prayers today, dear. Love and hugs to you.

Blogger Jim said...

I will think happy, gay thoughts for you and cross all appropriate and inappropriate appendages.

You'll be great. You'll be whizzin' like a pro in NO TIME.

Blogger August95 said...

Hi Susie, saying prayers for you today.

Remember my surgery moto. All you have to do today is lay down. That is your only job and I bet you will do awsome at it lol.

Keep your chin up and your stones down. Hugs Susie.

Blogger Nina said...

I am thinking about you . . . hoping for very little pain, but if you do have pain wishing for some good drugs.
Hugs and lots of love sent your way.

Blogger EMOB said...

Sent by way of August's blog, she said her friend Susie needs some cheer...so I wish you the best of luck today...brave AND funny - you'll get through this with flying colors! :)

Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie...get your rocks off, darlin'!

I'll be thinkin' of you, and doing my best Asteroids KABLAM sound in your honor.

Oh, and my performance art? I will be in front of the hospital doing interpretive dance to the theme "Blowin' Up Them Kidney Stones."

Anonymous katietoyboy said...

So is this stone shooting trick anything like the ping ball shooting one practiced in the Far East? Cos that would be interesting to see and would bring your blog to a whole new group of friends!!

Very witty heading on this post.

Sending warmest wishes across the Atlantic to your hospital bed.

Blogger Karen said...

I guess I'll take a pass on coming up with something witty. (How could I beat the title of this post, anyway. Not that I'm competitive, or anything.)

I hope all goes well for you and that you have a minimum of discomfort during and after the procedure.

Be well, Susie.

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

T-shirts! Get yer t-shirts here!

Blogger eclectic said...

So.... what's it like to be 'stoned' in the hospital?? ;) I hope you get to have ice cream.

Anonymous M&Co. said...

You know it doesn't get much more tasteful than a kidney stone with a tongue coming out of it.

Blogger dashababy said...

Oh dear Susie, I will be thinking of you today and hoping that this will be no where near as painful as you have anticipated.
And hopefully that isn't the actual size of you stone, good lord honey, bout made me vurp when I saw it. Blegh! I never knew what they looked like before. Thanks for that.

Blogger abcd said...

OY VEY-thanks for the pimped out picture.

Well all I want to do is sing a song
for you. This will sound really good
if you are "stoned". BTW-if you take
any pain medication. Ya may be tripping. This will be double the

Without further ado.

Papa Was A Rolling Stone
It was the third of September.
That day I'll always remember, yes I will.
'Cause that was the day that my daddy died.
I never got a chance to see him.
Never heard nothing but bad things about him.
Mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth.

And Mama just hung her head and said,
"Son, Papa was a rolling stone.
Wherever he laid his hat was his home.
(And when he died) All he left us was alone."
"Papa was a rolling stone, my son.
Wherever he laid his hat was his home.
(And when he died) All he left us was alone."

Well, well

Hey Mama, is it true what they say,
that Papa never worked a day in his life?
And Mama, some bad talk going around town
saying that Papa had three outside children and another wife.
And that ain't right.
Hey, talk about Papa doing some store front preaching.
Talked about saving souls and all the time leeching.
Dealing in debt and stealing in the name of the Lord.

Mama just hung her head and said,
"Papa was a rolling stone, my son.
Wherever he laid his hat was his home.
(And when he died) All he left us was alone."
"Hey, Papa was a rolling stone.
Wherever he laid his hat was his home.
(And when he died) All he left us was alone."


Hey Mama, I heard Papa called himself a jack of all trades.
Tell me is that what sent Papa to an early grave?
Folks say Papa would beg, borrow, steal to pay his bills.
Hey Mama, folks say that Papa was never much on thinking.
Spent most of his life chasing women and drinking.
Mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth.

And Mama looked up with a tear in her eye and said,
"Son, Papa was a rolling stone. (Well, well, well, well)
Wherever he laid his hat was his home.
(And when he died) All he left us was alone, lone, lone, lone, alone."
"Papa was a rolling stone.
Wherever he laid his hat was his home.
(And when he died) All he left us was alone."

"I said, Papa was a rolling stone. Wherever he laid his hat was his home.
(And when he died) All he left us was alone."

The moral of the story. Hopefully
those stones will now leave you
alone. I do hope you feel better


Blogger abcd said...

It is 8pm EST. I hope you are doing
well. I like the words you chose.
"blown up". You could have also
used implosion.

This could be new medical jargon
for me. But in reality I think
those words would scare folks.

Way to go CK on the picture.

"Page the doctor" if you need


Why three hours later am I posting
behind Shoshie?

Blogger mrtl said...


Blogger Nina said...

This is like waiting for mrtl to give birth. I keep coming back hoping to find good news here. Praying and hoping all is well!

Blogger Squirl said...

I just love this picture. CK does good work. I'm late on this comment, but I was thinking about you and praying for you all day.

Blogger Susie said...

peaches, actually, it was more like paint ball, with the doc trying to shoot me while I ran around hiding behind nurses and IV poles and whatnot, with my "backless" gown flapping . . . until they finally shot me with a tranquilizer dart, then I was out . . .
Thanks for the prayers :)

sharkey, thanks! I hope you bought one from CK :)

ck, as you'll see from my update, I was thinking of YOU :)

mrB, like, whatEVER

traci, thank you; when it's early like that, you have to fake it, dear.

ladybug, what is particularly tasteful is that you shove the aforementioned object in the aforementioned place while praying. Permit granted!

jim, I am not yet ready to turn pro, but I do thank you for the vote of confidence (aside to Jif, "those gay thoughts aren't for me...he'd be thinking gay thoughts anyway...")

august, thank you for the advice (THAT, I can do, pretty much any time :) and for sending your friends to visit me. Much appreciated :)

nina, your second wish was granted, at least :)

emob, welcome, and thank you, what nice things you say :)

bucky, what a lovely sentiment *sniff*
And I love it when you dance for me.

katietoyboy, I will have to investigate this ping ball thing . . . are you in Ireland, katie? Thank you for you kind wishes.

karen, thank you, I am trying (the be well part, that is).

ck, I am sure you're making tons of money :)

eclectic, I did have a scoop last night, actually. For medicinal purposes.

m&co, I thought so, too; I do try to keep it that way, here ;)

dashababy, until CK showed me, I didn't know what they looked like either. She also showed me a photo of Mick Jagger that proved to me he is passing these suckers most of the time, as evidenced by his facial expressions.

MEANshoshie, perfection, my dear. My pleasure truly was doubled, and I do hope that all these stones leave me is alone.

nikki, thank you. You're right, if they really called it like it is, people would be frightened. And the SOUND. I didn't hear mine, of course, I was out, but all through the suite, those things sound like freakin' jackhammers when they're blasting the stones. Someone needs to invent a silencer.

you got it, mrtl :)

nina, I had that very thought yesterday afternoon, lying in bed, crying. I thought of mrtl and jem, and "and I don't even get a BABY out of this!"

squirl, thank you, I could feel the love. And yes, CK is a master.


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