Well, then, cancel that session I scheduled.

Aw, come on, Bucky. I already put the cover on my couch so you can wear your assless chaps.

I hope it's a plastic-lined couch cover.
Oh, and you should have your couch scotch guarded, too.
*buckles chaps tighter*

Susie, I think that was the full package therapy session lol. Hope you are doing well.

Is she the one that was in the newspaper?

Yeah, um, once she started unzipping the pants, I would have run from the room screaming, "The ants, the ants are in my pants! No daddy, no!"

So glad to hear that the major factor in your choice of career path is NOT something you practice yourself. Although, what kind of recruiting tactics do you have to resort to, since unzipping your Auntie Flow pants is out of the question?

How come nobody ever, ever says "I had a dream about Bucky last night and the sex, my god, the sex was astoundingly great!"?

How come nobody ever says THAT?

No dream about Bucky is worthy of the name unless you wake up disturbed.

One of the reasons I do what I do is that I can dress how I want, unbuckle when I want, and stop in the middle of the day if someone comes online and (metaphorically) sits on the corner of my desk for a chat.

I don't blog naked - I can't. A friend and I have discussed setting up a site where we could be a little more "free" ... but like Bucky, we can't bear the thought of the extra work of another blog.

I'm a little more unrestrained in my commenting than I am in my blogging. And a LOT more unrestrained in my e-mails. But to get the totally unrestrained me, you gotta see the live show.

Bucky -- I didn't think anyone HAD to say that. I thought it was a given. :)

Oh Nilbo, there are so many smart-alecky comments running through my mind right now. Alas, I'm feeling all sorts of restrained right about now...

That's why therapists I know wear long flowing dresses with no waistbands--comfy dresses--and still look professional enough.
Unbuckling, I can see, but unzipping--those musta been really uncomfortable jeans is all I'm saying!

*heh heh* Wardrobe malfunction?

Circus Kelli - does that mean you've had that nasty ol' restraining order against me lifted?

Nilbo - does the "live show" involve balloon animals?

(Sorry, Susie, I guess I've turned your site into my own personal Dooce comments today)

Bucky, you'll turn comments into Dooce comments any chance you get. I remember I actually blogged about that time of month when the zipper on my pants was going to try to make me comfortable. I've since lost about six pounds so I hope that doesn't happen again.

I'm at work for a couple more hours, so can't comment too much, but dooce it up! I love it when you people party here. And by "you people" I mean that in whatever way it offends you most ;) Squirl, I told this story in a comment at your place the day you blew out your zipper!

Yay for UNRESTRAINED comments! =)

LOL...Bucky, you kill me.

Susie...I adore you. I know I say that everytime I come over here, but I just can't help it.

I wish I had a therapist like you.
Oh who am I kidding? I just wish I had a therapist.

Ya'all know I need one

(*the use of 'ya'all' is in preparation for Pissy to get here)

Yea, I'm sitting here with my laptop pretending to take notes while my client is all "life is so rough blah blah yadda yadda" and I'm all, "oh, tell me more," but really I'm all, dude I'm tryin' to blog here . . .

Susie! You just made me completely laugh out loud! Don't tell anyone, but sometimes, when I'm in meetings "taking notes", I'm all "so, where are we going for lunch?" and "did you hear about so-and-so and what's-his-face?" with my email buddies lucky enough to NOT be in the same meeting.

Ha! No, I'm kidding. I'm a kidder. I mean, that would be COMPLETELY unprofessional, which is how I know you are totally kidding Susie, because YOU are the consumate (did I spell that right?) professional what with your pants totally zipped up and everything...

Bucky, I'm sorry. I'm still not able to comment on that restraining order, or anything pertaining* to it, at this time.

* that's for you, Susie.

I am so glad you know me, CK. The party ground to a halt, and there for a minute, I thought, “oh shit, they’re all horrified and reporting my ass!” Heeeheeee. No, truth be told, I am at the agency job, filling out boring Ph. D. candidates’ questionnaires. That is, the questionnaires are boring. I don’t know yet whether my students will be boring. I meet them next week.

OMG!
My stuff is truly "unrestrained" but not spilling out of unzipped jeans!
I would have thought getting comfortable might have meant removing her shoes.

I did have an incident at work where the underwire broke from my bra, so I removed it and stuck it in my purse. Of course I'm not talking about mere discomfort, it was all about an under-boob stabbing.

Wow, Susie. Some people have the coolest jobs... you're SO lucky. :)

"Although, for the record, I have never undone my pants in my office when a client was present."

So the undoing of the pants only happens when you're alone in your office?

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That!

WOW! There is comfy and then there is....COMFY. At least she didn't her soil her drawers.

Where did that extra her come from?

If I ever go to a therapist, I'll want him/her to whip out some banana popsicles. Now THAT's comfort.

Wow, that is amazing to me, I think I would have sat there in shock.
I think it is wise to keep your pants done up when a client is present. For many reasons . . . LOL

bucky, that's so exciting when you tighten the chaps!

august95, I guess. I wonder if she'd have done that with a male client.

crayoneater, no this was a different one. I got a million crazy therapist stories!

mrtl, I think you went to sleep rather disturbed, and that's why you dreamed of Bucky.

bucky, how about, "I had a dream about Bucky and the sex was disturbingly great!"

nilbo, the mind boggles at the thought of the live show...

effie, well, I guess if they were that bad, she really couldn't have paid full attention to me . . . yea, that works.

eclectic, they were malfunctioning before, and dysfunctioning after.

weetzie, Amen. And may God bless you with a Doughboy.

kristine, yes, we all agree that you need one ;) Seriously, you can come and see me, and I'll give you a big discount if you're the one on the couch directly after this new chick that comes in with her ass out. Deal?

CK, and thank you for the pertaining. I hear Bronson Pinchot in Beverly Hills Cop -- what it's pertaining . . .

sierrabella, I feel your pain. I hate underwires and they hate me. They turn on me every chance they get, and I have had to dissect a number of them while still on my person.

CK, most days, I really feel lucky to do what I do. Well, a lot of days. It happens.

ladybug, Miss NothingWrongWitDaFlo', think outside the box. There may be, MAY be, people other than my clients who have visited my office...

kranki, perhaps you have identified the problem. She felt there was some extra her, and she needed relief!

hoss, au contraire. I went to a male therapist who offered to comfort me by whipping out a banana popsicle. Not good form . . . I'm just sayin' . . .

nina, really! A little decorum, just a LITTLE, is sometimes in order.

mamaramma, that works, but no one's paying her by the hour to watch movies and eat popcorn. Unless she has a REALLY good job.

Oh damn. that whole transference thing would have happened. "this is when the client transfers onto the therapist thoughts, feelings, etc." What is the etc. in this sentence? Is that what Bucky is talking about witht he plastic sofa cover?

william, like "thoughts, feelings, bodily fluids," AAAAGGHHHH! I mean, um, no, not like that. Etc. would be "expectations, blahblahblah." The transfer of bodily fluids in therapy is frowned upon. Yea. Frowned. Upon.

Okay, Susie. I follow ya. Not that there's anything wrong with THAT, either!

There are so many places I could take this, all of them wrong.

So, do you still have any of those skirts and silk blouses?

Why do I ask?

Oh no reason.......


Oh and Bucky, I had a sex dream about you, and your a much better lay then Mick Jagger any day.

silk blouses and pumps. Yeah!!
unzipping the jeans. Yeah!!
curled up on the couch. Yeah!!

what were you saying?

Susie, I knew this story sounded familiar. Darn,I didn't remember it was a comment on that blog. Way too funny.

ladybug, I knew you'd see where I'm coming from ;)

JR, I don't think I do, but I'm very curious. What are you gonna play?

closet metro, do you have some sort of reading disorder that causes you to only pick out selected phrases?

squirl, yea, nothing new here. I've told some of my best stories in other people's comments!

YEAH!
I'm a better dream lay than Mick Jagger!

*spikes football*

Susie - its One Track Mind Speed Reading. Comes from trying to find the "good parts" in the trashy novels my mom used to leave around the house when I was a teenager.

CM, Ah, that would explain it ;)

Never when the client is a male.

One Saturday I went to work to finish a project. Many times I would be one of 2-3 people who didn't have much of a life. One time I encountered a co-worker in his office behind his desk with his shirt off. All I could see is a naked torso, and looking at him, there might have been the full monty. Although I'm 90% sure he was not. I didn't think it was even that warm in the building. This guy was sort of my supervisor, and it was rather disconcerting to talk with him. I came from the era where men would cover themselves if they were approached by and conversed with someone while working sans shirt.