With a Little Help from My Friends
I think today's SPF assignment is "show us your mental illness," and while I could certainly give y'all a run for your money, I'm thinking that might be bad for business!
I've been feeling droopy and suffering from writer's constipation this week, but some friends have contributed to the cause of keeping this blog operational:
Circus Kelli, known blogworldwide for being HOT, used her considerable automotive skills to Pimp My Ride. This is the world premiere of my pimped out '99 Saturn:
This is the car we bought 7 years ago, just after LG entered the world of "big girl panties." I remember this because we took too long haggling with the salesguy, and she squatted and peed on the showroom floor. I empathized with the impulse, but I refrained. This is also the car that, on one of the back quarter panels, has the word MAMA scratched into it by a 3-year-old's fingernail. I still don't get how that's possible, but it's there, quite visible for all these years. "Now you'll always know it's your car, Mama." Yep. That and the fact that now it's HOT!
Another friend lifted my spirits this week. My little buddy/daughter, LG, shared with me her favorite jokes from our church newsletter, to help me feel less droopy:
A grumpy teacher was teaching her elementary students about whales. Some students asked if a whale could swallow a person, and the teacher said, no, that whales' throats are much too small to swallow a person whole. One little girl raised her hand and told the story of Jonah and the whale.
The teacher, annoyed, repeated that whales cannot swallow humans.
The little girl, said, "Well, when I get to heaven, I'll just have to ask Jonah how that happened to him."
The teacher said mockingly, "What if Jonah didn't go to heaven?"
The little girl said, "Then you can ask him."
A kindergarten teacher was watching her students as they drew pictures. One little girl was very engrossed in her artwork, but the teacher didn't recognize the subject matter.
"What are you drawing there?" she asked.
"I'm drawing a picture of God."
"But no one knows what God looks like," said the teacher.
The little girl kept working hard. "They will in a minute."
My writer's block is so firmly established now, that I think it deserves the benefits that all firmly established blocks have -- a neighborhood watch, a back-to-school block party . . . I'll post a sign-up sheet.
And maybe next week I'll post my favorite jokes -- which are profane and/or politically incorrect and/or in highly questionable taste, and will most definitely not be published in the church newsletter.
But for now, how about telling us your favorite "clean" joke, one that I can tell my kid?
As much as I did not set out to reveal my various mental disorders, sometimes things take on a life of their own. See Nilbo's "city boy and cow" joke in the comments, and my reply. Nobody pimps out a farm animal like Circus Kelli :)