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Thursday, June 23, 2005

OH, NO! NOT AGAIN!!!!

In my last post I told you how we saw a family member's therapist on the news, in lingerie, accused of terrible crimes, missing, and being hunted by the police and the dogs.

Well, you ain't gonna believe this. Just moments ago, just minutes after Oprah left my TV screen, guess what? Another helping professional, MY GYNECOLOGIST, to be precise, showed up on the local news. Charged with all manner of poor practice: mislabeled lab specimens, unsanitary waste disposal, failure to pay employees, oh, and disappearing. There was film of a bucket of used speculums, uncleaned for weeks. Um hmm. It's happened again. By the way, my gynecologist is also a psychologist. And a most lovely, delightful woman that I've known for oh . . . 18 years. She was a serious over-achiever. I reckon she figured she had achieved enough.

At least she wasn't on there in her undies. Yet :(

Where's Dr. Joaquin when I need him?

Update #1: She may not be truly missing; her staff says they have been unable to reach her all week; her husband has contacted the 11 News Team, and said that she is away at a medical convention, in a state that begins with the letter "A."

Update #2: The good news is, I was trying to get in to see her next week. It's good news, because if I hadn't been made aware of all this, I'd have strolled right in there and maybe kicked the bucket -- or at least tripped over it!

(I couldn't make this stuff up. I am stunned, amused (because of the timing with the previous post), and worried. I do like her very much and hope she's OK. But this is just too bizarre. That's why I'm writing real big and colorful. If I could blog this in crayon, I would; it's just THAT wacky!)

39 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger Romani Heart said...

ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that's all I can say.

 
Blogger kenju said...

EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! That's all I can say. Would you like help when next choosing a medical practitioner? Seems like you cannot do it well on your own...LOL

 
Anonymous MrsDoF said...

Used speculums, uncleaned...?!? AAKK!

Reminds me of a time when an assistant came into the workplace of DoF, brandishing a stainless steel speculum. All sorts of little pinching/biting antics ensued, accompanied by "duck quacking" noises.
I nudged DoF, who asked where he got the thingy? At a Yard Sale, only $1.
We left him go on for awhile, then DoF asked him if he knew the original purpose of that tool.
Upon hearing the explanation, he dropped it into the trash like it was about to explode in his hand.
DoF said that was the best dollar anybody ever spent because of the entertainment value.

 
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Oh, Susie...
Those conditions are absolutely a perfect breeding ground for booty flies. I think you really do need Dr. Joaquin to give you the once-over now.

 
Blogger The Lioness said...

You can't be serious. Say it isn't so! Lather and rinse, lather and rinse...

 
Blogger marybishop said...

Holy crap is all I can say..sounding a lot like Raymond's father.

Must have freaked you out to see this!

Egads, what's happening to the world?

 
Blogger _Summer_ said...

IDB--and yikes!

 
Blogger Ern said...

I knew you people weren't to be trusted! Ack! Who CAN I trust with my mental health!?

There is a Mad About You episode sort of like that. Their therapist invites them to a fundraiser at her house, and when they get there they see handcuffs and chains, and scary paintings of clowns or something and the therapist is drunk and hitting on people. :)

 
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Is her saddle on eBay yet?

 
Blogger Squirl said...

I'm with Bucky. Actually, she just beat me to commenting. You need to check now for booty-flies.

 
Blogger Caroline said...

Two words.

Holy.

Crap.

 
Blogger Candace said...

*whew*

I thought it WAS booty flies man at first.

I was going to be seriously disenchanted if it was.

Still, sucks for you. And for all her other patients.

 
Blogger Nic said...

*SHHHHUUUDDDDERRRRRR*! I just got the cold chills over that one. Thank the good Lord that my gyn is one of those fabulous earthmother slightly hippyish types who is not only an OB/GYN but a doctor of osteopathy with a healthy obsession for cleanliness. Not and obsession per say, but you get my drift right? She is the most fabulous GYN. Actually takes the time to listen and I have never once felt like I was being rushed or I didn't have her full attention to whatever I was telling her. She was the one who diagnosed me as anovulatory after I had Emily and didn't sotp bleeding for 7 months after. I know, I know, TMI. Anyway, I thank God for her.

Bless you dear Susie sunshine for letting us into your suprise so that we can better appreciate our own GYNs, er, for the females in the crowd I mean.

 
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Oooookkkkaaayyyy. Well. Hm.

That is really just, well, yeah. Souns like a good plot line for the start of a horror movie. A really bad horror movie.

Really, you have some very interesting luck their lady, very very interesting.

 
Anonymous Amanda B. said...

Holy shit dude. I may never get speculated again. :0

 
Blogger Bente said...

Oh no! That's just...no.

 
Blogger Susie said...

DID YOU READ THE UPDATES?

romani heart, I know.

kenju, yes, please help me.

mrsDoF, I'll be watching the local yard sales. Duck bills, you say . . .

bucky, seriously, there's an itching, buzzing thing going on. I think I need to borrow your fancy pants to let some air circulate, if you know'm sayin'...

lioness, I think I know what you mean . . .
I'm gonna wash these docs right outta my hair
I'm gonna wash these docs right outta my hair

MB, I'm tellin' ya. I am freaked. And concerned. And just . . . unfreakin' believable. Holy crap!

summer, yep, can you believe it? I'm glad you're having so much BIG FUN :)

ern, hang on, now, this one's an M.D., too. Plus, I'm nothing like that Mad About You episode. My paintings are all of Gumby and Pokey. Pokey is my explanation for the ropes, whips, etc.

hoss, you're confused on accounta being old. Stirrups, yes; horse, no. Saddle, no.

squirl, I really can't think about what might be in that office. It's been over a year since I was there. I want to rush over and get my file, but all the files were scattered around, unkempt, too. I don't know what the hell has happened there.

caroline, thank you. A truly empathic statement, that captures my mood well.

misfit, no, but honestly, she was the second best gyn I've ever had. I can't imagine what has happened to her.

nic, I've felt the same way about this one. I'm scratching my head. (And my booty; the flies, you know.)

JR, what, like y'all's docs don't show up on the news every now and then?
I've tried to tell you people, the life card that I drew was "I Love Lucy on Crack."

amanda b, now, now. Maybe you could bring your own speculum to the party?

bente, yes, exactly.

 
Blogger ieatcrayonz said...

Mmmm, did somebody say crayon?

Susie, I'm so glad that you shared that with the rest of us and not the rest of the town, if you know what I mean.

I'm never going to the gyno again.

 
Blogger mrtl said...

Mortifyingly colorful, Susie.

 
Anonymous Julie said...

Wow, I thought it was bad when my gynecologist lost her license for "borrowing" from the "medicine cabinet." Quit watching the news, SusieToo ... it's probably better not to know. ;-)

 
Blogger marybishop said...

IDB to read comments...

 
Blogger WILLIAM said...

A state that begins with the letter "A". Hmmmm? Alaska. Mrtl may need to check this out.

 
Blogger August95 said...

Sorry to hear about this Susie. That and Yikes!!

 
Anonymous peefer said...

Oh no! My wife's seeing the gynecologist TODAY. I'll be sure to listen for buzzing sounds tonight.

 
Blogger Weetzie said...

IDB and holy cow!

 
Blogger SierraBella said...

I don't blame your gyn for leaving. Shouldn't it have been her staff who labels specimens, handles waste disposal and cleans speculums?
No wonder she didn't pay them...

 
Blogger Greenthumb said...

EEEEWWWW!!!!

Those colors and fonts had me on edge, and now I know why. That's some wierd shit, what with your previous post and all. Foreshadowing what?

 
Blogger poopie said...

That's pretty awful!! Hoss told me to come unload my problems on ya, but I'd say you've got enough of your own ;)

 
Blogger Effie said...

Oh no!! Grossed outn over here!

That is so freaky that it happened right after you told us why you weren't posting nasty pic's of yourself!

 
Blogger Bernadette said...

Putting off my appointment a little longer...

 
Blogger Random and Odd said...

*HEEBIE JEEBIE*

Used Speculum...yeah, that one got me!!

 
Blogger Annejelynn said...

where's your SPD Friday stuff girl?

 
Blogger Christopher said...

Holy crap! That's too crazy!!!

 
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

That is spooky. And gross. Yes, very spooky and VERY gross.

 
Blogger SRH said...

It is times like this that I, as a male, am very glad I am not required to have a hu-ha doc.

Hope the next gyn you find is not newsworthy.

 
Blogger LadyBug said...

Oh, dear. That IS wacky.

Time to go gyno-shopping!

 
Blogger Snickrsnack Katie said...

SRH, that is what urologists are for. Men don't get off totally scot-free.

That is a horrible story, Susie. I just can't imagine hearing that I may have been scoped with an unsanitary speculum. HEEBY JEEBY!

 
Anonymous kalki said...

WHOA. That ain't right, Susie. I think I'm going to ask my gyno to wash the speculum in front of me next time, you know, just to be sure. Eew.

 
Blogger Susie said...

crayoneater, I knew I could lure you over here with all the colors! You must go to the gyno again, young lady. Just take your own tools.

mrtl, true colors.

julie, you may be right. I imagine if I'd shown up next week to strewn files and buckets o' metal duck bills, I mighta known somethin' was up :0

MB, you're welcome always.

william, update: ARIZONA.

august95, thank you for that. Yet another word that aptly captures the situation: YIKES

peefer, just look into her eyes, to make the diagnosis...

weetzie, I know; I'm not believin' it, either!

sierrabella, this is a good point. I am suspicious, since all this was brought to light (i.e., the media), when the woman was out of town. However, the law says that she is responsible for all those things, which is reasonable, but still...something's not quite right about the whole story.

greenie, I hope the foreshadowing is over; I can't take much more.

poopie, welcome! You can still tell me your troubles, they'll help me forget about mine! What is it, has your dentist been arrested?

effie, like I say, I could not make this stuff up!

bonnie, welcome! You were just looking for an excuse to do that, weren't you? Make that appointment, missy!

kristine, latest report is that the nurse who runs the sterilizer machine didn't show up last week, so they piled up; none were used twice, and the doc then switched to plastic, disposable ones, until someone could be trained to run the machine. Not ideal, but not as bad as it originally sounded. I'm still going somewhere else, though.

annejelynn, got it!

christopher, welcome to my world :0

kranki, it IS spooky, and not in a friendly, ghosty kind of way ;)

srh, I could live with that, a doc that doesn't show up on the news.

ladybug, yes, it is, and I've written about how I feel about shopping! And what's worse than gyno shopping?!

katiebbaw, in a way, I guess the buckets, sinks, etc., with speculums implies they weren't being re-used, because they were piling up, but still...used ones piled up is not appealing.

kalki, I like the idea of disposables, now that I've heard they exist.

 


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