I am guilty of #2 with a lot of blogs. I like the fact that you do #7. ("Doing #7" Can now be put into you google porn search).
And I would love to hear what people say about #8. I always wonder why certain people have accepted me into their group while other have not.
Nice post.

Aaaaah, more lists. I love ya, Susie!

#3 - I'm a very bad blogger (VBB) and don't always visit/comment at the sites of everyone who comments mine. I need to get better about that.

#5 - I have never started a links list for that very reason. I am always afraid someone would be excluded, unintentionally, and be hurt. Plus, like you, one more thing to keep on top of. I can think of other things I'd rather be on top of (rimshot).

#6 - that's a great idea, the notebook thing with the "read" and "commented" columns. God help us, Susie, I don't think either of us are kiddin' about this!

#8 - I can safely say that the majority of the bloggers in my "circle" are people I met on Dooce comments, though I have met a few great people post-Dooce-Comments (PDC).
If you can believe it, once upon a time I was a little shy about leavin' comments on people's sites.
Ahem, as you can see, I'm over that.
I know when people comment on my site, I try to make 'em feel welcome (though I don't keep up with replying to comments nearly as completely as you do).
I don't know. I didn't really answer the question, did I?

#10 - there is no possible way I could keep my bloggin' from Jim. No way. Maybe if I didn't work...but I'm glad I don't feel the need to hide it from him. He reads my blog, and we do talk about other blogs (he'll usually ask me stuff like "What's the Booty Flies girl up to?" or "Did your friend post any more pictures of her boobs?"), and I'll read him the really good stories and snippets while we watch TV. I just spend way too much time, between the writing, photography, and insane giggling, to ever keep my blogging a secret.

william, I enjoy "doing #7" every chance I get. I think I will try to "do #7" a bit more often.
Re: #8, I am glad you wandered in here one day, you are always most welcome, and I see you in the bloghomes of some of my favorite folks. So, the REALLY COOL group has definitely accepted you ;)

Bucky, God help us indeed, with #6. You KNOW I'm not kidding. I'll bet we could sell such a notebook on cafepress!
Re: #8, I am fairly compulsive about that, but I really like to do it. You know what? That's one of the things I got from you! Before I started blogging, I thought that was such a cool thing that you did. At the time, you were the only one I saw doing it. So I copied you. With just those two things. (Replying to individual comments and wearing assless chaps;)
#10: Word. Just the same, here.

You've put into words many of the things that have been bouncing around in my head.

I, too, am guilty of #2 (just ask Mrtl). And it used to be because I was shy, but I've gotten over that to some extent. Now when I do it, it's usually just because I can't think of anything interesting to add. Shut up! No comments about the uninteresting comments that I do write!

I can totally relate to forgetting where you've been. In fact, recently after following SPF and Motif Monday links, I've explored lots of new blogs. (And I've even been commenting!) But the next day, I felt like I'd been drunk because I couldn't remember where I'd been or what I said.

I've thought the same thing about the communities. There's a whole other world out there to explore!

Great post, Susie!

I am a big fan of www.blogrolling.com for keeping track of the list of blogs that I read regularly. If you you use IE, it opens a window pane on the left that has all of your links, and when you click on one of the links it opens the site in the window on the right. This way there I only have one link in my favorites list and it can be updated at any time.

That is all.

I forgot to add my two cents on #1. If using IE, if you right click on the back button, it should show the recently viewed sites, just click back a couple and you should no longer be trapped.

This really is all.

sharkey, thank you so much. I was thinking, "no one's going to read this, this is just me..." so THANK YOU for that. I KNOW that drunk feeling . . . where was I? Didn't someone say . . . !! Yes, I know. And I agree -- there are millions of bloggers. It's a big ol' world.

Anon, you don't mind if I call you "Anon" do you? THANK YOU, for the second comment. I've already given you props in my post :) Now, about blogrolling: If you have that on your site and someone clicks on it, is it just the same as having a links list on the blog? I mean, do visitors then see who's on your list? Or is it more private somehow?
Thank you for sharing these things, I did not know them.

WOO! A NUMBERED LIST! I LOVE NUMBERED LISTS!!

1. We like to call that the "captive audience" feature.

2. We like to call that "lurkers syndrome."

3. You're talking about an "ordinary everyday blogger"? Phew. For a minute there, I thought you were talking about me...

4. Good question. Let me ponder that for a while...

5. Good for you, Susie. The list of links on my site is pretty much for my referrence only. That way, I don't have to have all these bookmarks. I just click the link from my site, and PRESTO! There are usually one or two blogs that do not appear on my list, that I do check out for a while. If I find myself going back again and again, I'll add the link.

6. Uh, yeah... that sounds a little complusive to me (and a LOT of work), but what do I know?

7. That's an awesome idea. Works for me.

8. I think that "phenom" is similar to what we do in real life. Just sort of gravitate to people (blogs) that we find amusing,"get", like, connect with in some way. I usually venture outside of my usual playground when I have a little extra time, usually by way of a link provided by one of the blogs from my usual list. Like in real life, favorite people/blogs tend to drift in and out as time goes on. I may have a dozen links to favorite blogs, but that dozen might change over time as situations/events in my life (or the other bloggers life) change, evolve.

9. I'll tell you why I do that -- those who *really know* me, know that I couldn't come up with something so incredibly witty, touching, poignant on my own. Why should I deal with all those emails asking me where that comment came from later, when I can just take a minute or two to add the link/credit up front? :)

10. Another good question. Since Hubby has always known about my online writing, I can't answer that one... anyone else? anyone? Bueller?

11. You are most welcome, Susie, although I think it is *I* (because I can't speak for all of blogdom) who have benefitted more from reading *you/your blog*.

CK, you are a very experienced blogger, and I thank you for your insights. Re: #2, of course, that is what a lurker is. And lurkers are welcome. In fact, I have been a lurker on many occasions and will be again. I guess there are two kinds of lurking that make me curious: 1)When the visits are so frequent that the person is obviously intrigued, and I just wonder why they don't jump in, and 2)When the lurker is someone I "know," on whose site I comment. And just to clarify, I'm not intending to criticize this behavior. It isn't a problem, in any sense of the word. I am just curious about it, and wanted more perspectives than just my own, limited one.
#5 & #8, you make a lot of sense.
#9, you make no sense at all. You are always witty and/or poignant.

Hi Suzie,

First, Hi! Now we've officially "met". Starting off my day reading you and a few others is how I spend my first 15 minutes at work everyday. Ironically, it's keeps me sane.

On everything, my perspective is that there are no rules. You play good, you stay; you play bad, you get blocked.

On commenting, the world is your audience, quite literally. We are the good, the bad, and the ugly. Narcissists, voyeurs, geeks, newbies, flames, ... you name it. Hopefully, you enjoy your comments, and they're from family, friends, and e-friends, but you get what you get, and sometimes you just don't get. I get none. I give seldom. I'm e-shy.

On communities, I find this concept fascinating. Of the billion people online, we still form tiny communities of twenty. I figure it's because we all just seek love and friendship. The rest of the time, we hit up the remaining billion for entertainment.

Enough said.

Oh, one more thing: don't stop writing.

Out of courtesy and respect I do not link any other blogs to my blog. However, if you are dyin to be the "one and only." I can certainly put a link on mine to yours. I could even go so far as to say..."we co-author this work."

Takers...

Dr. H.O. Potamus

On lurking: I'm an excellent lurker, because like I said, I'm e-shy. Except for today.

I've hit pages multiples times in a day to reverse-engineer them. For example, I knew nothing about CSS until I read a few tutorials, and then repeatedly examined pages I liked to see how they were formatted. Now I can, and have, used my own CSS.

Susie,
You can also use blogline which uses RSS feeds. Both blogline and blogrolling allow you to link shortcuts to your feeds on your site. It makes sharing easy and reading your blogs even easier.

www.kinja.com

Go there, register the sites you visit every day, and then manage them by last updated. It's wonderful, it's fantastic, it's the angels sang down from upon high.

1. Ah, no idea, so glad someone else helped you.

2. Shy?

3. When you figure it out, let me know, OK?

4. Ditto.

5. Yeah, I've been thinking about that a lot. Some blogs I love so much that I want to share them with everyone who read mine (yours is in that list). But then there are those that I'm sure only I would like, so I don't put in a link. I'm afraid I'm hurting feelings, but I don't expect to be linked in every blog I link to...so...don't know.

6. See that first comment I made, the one that couldn't wait for the numbered list responses!

7. And we love you for it.

8. I know that I found most of my community through Dooce comments. I would click on those people who made me laugh, made insightful comments, or who were just plain nice. Then I started clicking on links *those* people had in their blogs and everything ballooned from there. We flock to what's familiar, to what we identify with.

9. That's great!

10. Pete is genuinely thrilled that such nice people comment on my blog. He's so happy for me that I've only had a few jerks come by. And he enjoys reading the blogs of people who comment on mine. I don't know how it would be possible to hide this aspect of my life from him. Heck, even the kids know about my blog! And my entire family, which isn't such a good thing sometimes.

11. WE LOVE YOU, MAN!

I have a reason for #2 that involves #6. In my favorites, I have a sub-folder called "Blogs" I save blogs in there that I find interesting and want to look at again. As I read people more, I move them up the list. Everytime I am blogging (always) I start at the top of the list to see if anyone has added anything new.

Don't worry, I will be able to drive again soon and will not be stuck in the house. Clicking Clicking Clicking hehehe.

Susie, with this post you have cracked it wide open. Why do we lurk, why are we in some places and not cool enough for others? Can't wait to see what other have to add.

My hubby does know about my blog. I didn't tell him about it at first, but like you said, it's time consuming. He was wondering what I was writing all the time (I think her thought I was having an online affair!) So, I told him that I was a blogging, and let him read it. Letting him read it was very hard. It's weird that I can let all these people I have never seen before read details about my life (and comment on them freely), but when my hubby read it, I was very nervous. Now, I catch him reading it all the time. He thinks it is great that I do it. I don't know how other bloggers can keep it from their SOs. It's like keeping them out of a big part of your life.

Hi susie...you "know" me cuz I have commented before but I love these listy thingys so must put in my 2 cents:
#1: this bugged me alot and I didn't get it either, so thanks to ANON for straightening out us techie-challenged
#2: I visits sites I know looking for updates and if they haven't updated, then I go back & maybe go back later to check the comments.
#3: anything goes?
#4:I am always thrilled if someone links me!
#5: but on this linkee topic, I put links on my site for several reasons, first I wanted to teach myself how to do it (yay, got that part) and then, I wanted to be part of that group of people you are talking about in # 8 (needy needy) and I usually link somebody if I really start reading them frequently but no....they don't have to link me back. s'ok.
I still don't get Blogrolling even tho ANON has tried to explain it.
#6: I add 'em all to favorites and then if I find myself frequenting them alot, I link 'em. I used to keep a notebook but too timeconsuming.
#7: cool
#8: communities: I love feeling connected to people..so I love the communities but I do venture forth and look around. Sometimes that can be scary.
#9: I hope to always give credit where credit is due. Let me know if I mess up.
#10: I don't have a significant other so I just have to battle for the computer time from my kids. They roll their eyes at my blogging & sometimes help me...sometimes I read them funny stuff from blogs or show them funny videos. Rest of my family (extended) don't care.
#11: THANK YOU for making me feel welcome in blogdom. =)
...sorry this is so long...but you ASKED!

ooops forgot to mention, if you want to see who is linking to you and such. Go to www.technorati.com. put in your URl and it will tell you. It is not 100% but it is fun to see.

DoF limited the links and trackbacks to our blogs because of Spam. The badd-uns latch onto feeds and use them to send out ads for #@**!*@ garbage. There was one time he had 200 bits of junk mail and mine had about 20. That's why he put Captcha on the Comments section, just one extra step for a person, but harder for a spam code to break.
I have to limit my blog-reading to the best 6 that I know (Susie is one, and Nilbo is, too!) then I go out and read a couple others in the morning and another couple in the evening.
DoF says that some hits on a blog are called "spyders" which are sent out to retrieve information for Google and others so that the post can be added to legitimate Research Archives. Your booty flies post must have been a gold mine.
Middle Son's roomie just graduated UofI Urbana and will begin a new job at Google in the Research Dept. I have no idea about most of the computer subjects he talks about. Some brains are beyond human.

#2. I am so guilty of that. I do it to at least one person's blog everyday. It's mainly because I'm checking for updates, but all that's there is a post that I have nothing to add to. I think the person I do it to the most is Bucky Four-Eyes. Bucky if you're reading this and you noticed that I am always lurking on your blog, it's because I don't know what to say. That's all.

8. Another reason why I lurk a lot. To pick on Bucky again, I feel like I missed the Doocekateer boat by a couple of months and I don't really fit in with all those people who met through her comments. And for the most part, these are the people I link to and read everyday. I feel like I'm too late to try to jump in on some of the inside jokes, so I just read them for entertainment.

10. I blog mostly at work (I'm so, so bad) or at home while my husband is downstairs watching TV. I have always been a very secretive person and I like to have somethings just to myself. It's an issue I have and I don't necessarily think it's right, but it's my therapy and I'd like to keep it private.

11. Thank you, Susie. You're the best and I am so glad you are a blogger.

I often don't leave a comment on even my favourite sites ... sometimes because I just don't have anything to say that I feel adds to the conversation. Or maybe I'm just lazy that day. Or maybe I'm in a hurry and doing a quick scan of my favourite reads. Or whatever.

I have a blogroll, but I'm ridiculous at updating it, and I wonder sometimes if people feel hurt that they've blogrolled me and I haven't tatted their tit. It's not that I don't want to include them .. usually it's just one of those "geez, I should get around to that, maybe later ..." things.

My wife doesn't read my blog, that I know of. I'm on the computer day and night, so there's nothing unusual about the time I spend here. I don't say anything in my blog that would surprise her, I don't think.

I visit a lot of sites many times without leaving a comment.

Sometimes its because I don't have anything to say.

Sometimes its because I've left comments a few times but have never been acknowledged.

Sometimes I'm just in a hurry.

I've also wondered about the blog communities thing. Why I am on some link lists and not others... or why some visit my site and others don't.

I have two blogs. One that most people know about. Then I have the 'secret' one. I think having one that I can refer my friends to makes having a secret one a lot easier.

I link sites that I've visited more than a few times. If I'm not linked back thats fine. If that person doesn't come to my site at all thats also fine. I just have the list of people I like partially so that I don't forget to visit their site and partially because I think they are interesting enough that my readers might also want visit.

peefer, welcome, nice to meet you. I'm glad you stop by. Sane is good. We like sane ;)
The communities thing, yes, I suppose blogworld is just like realworld in that way. We want to belong, and then we tend to stay where we "belong." Plusses and minuses there. (I probably misspelled at least one of those words.) Thank you for the encouragement to keep writing. I really do appreciate that, because sometimes I get discouraged.
Now, CSS. Crime Scene ... what? I got nothing. I am such a techno-dunce, but sounds like you can really see behind the scenes somehow. Hey, can you see me right now....?

hippo, welcome, thanks for letting me know you were here. I don't notice where I'm linked or not linked much, until someone mentions it, and then I am always flattered, I do understand that it's a compliment. Be interesting to see if anyone wants to be your one and only :)

boarder girl, I understand that on #2. Sometimes I do the same; no reflection on the post, just that I don't have anything to add at the moment. Welcome to blogging, I don't think I realized you were new, I've seen you around a bit. Thank you for the affirmation on this post; as I've said, I thought it was just me! (As a therapist, I should know better. Nothing is ever just me; we all have much more in common than not.)

FoA, thank you. I'll check these things out. Again, being such a techno-dunce, I would not have discovered these things or understood what they were for :)

misfit, thanks, you make me smile. I met most of the people I know through dooce's comments; some really nice people through brando's comments . . . of course I met brando thru dooce's comments . . . some nice people through greenie's . . . marybishop's and laurenbove's . . . I should stop, because I'll be leaving people out, see how easy that is...

august95, SEE? I didn't know I could make a subfolder in "favorites." I just have a big mess there. Thank you.
Cracked it wide open??? REALLY?! Now I feel like GERALDO, except younger and brighter, and not so controversial and with less facial hair . . . you know what I mean.

robin, as a married person and a marriage therapist, I think it's a significant part of one's life to keep hidden. I am sure that those who do have their reasons. But like you, they might be pleasantly surprised at how it goes if they reveal. Thanks for telling us how that went for you.

weetzie, on #2, yea, sometimes I keep going back to see where comments are heading. I am very happy to hear that I have made you feel welcome. Ohmygosh, so many people did that for me. I was so scared to blog, but when I finally did, I got so much encouragement from my first, and still dear, blogfriends, bucky, dangcold, greenie, ladybug, CK, annejelynne, ern, I'm probably forgetting someone, but I know from my very first posts, these and probably some other people were stopping in saying "See, you can do it!" And "Uh, we can't see your pictures!" That sort of thing ;)
Yes, I ASKED! Thanks for joining in :)

MrsDoF, thanks for the kind compliments. My, you know things I have never even heard of. Do share any juicy info you get from your googly friend!

JOMAMA! Told you I'd have to do that ;) You are one whom I think joined quickly and thoroughly, like you've been around forever. O' course, belly pix really do speed up intimacy in a relationship. Bucky is SO friendly, just say something about assless chaps or a pearl necklace, and you'll slide right into the Cotillion like you're carrying a membership card.
So for you, blogging is a thing that's just YOURS. I get it. Thanks for that :)

Nilbo, same here, sometimes I really want to read, but am already on borrowed time so commenting isn't possible.
You've been involved in some fascinating interactions in blogworld! You haven't wanted to tell your wife, "look what so-and-so sent me!"? :0 Thank you again for posting the recipe :)

danikabur, thank you. TWO blogs . . . now that is interesting. A secret one. I have thought about having another one on which I am much more anonymous and try my hand at writing fiction. Might do that some day.

hi- i think you did a very good job summing up what i supose a lot of us think about regarding blogging. and since you asked, here are some of my responses:

2. i visit many sites many times a day-including you, but i never have anything of importance to say. I'm what you call a lurking blogger. i love reading what others have to say!

5.the link thing is weird for me, mostly cause i just figured out how to do it. i don't use my link when i comment anymore because people see it,come to me and leave bad comments there. i thought screening people from my blog would be best for now.i link only when people tag me with something within my blog,but that's it.

6. good idea-with the notebook thing

8. i travel outside my community a lot too. for me,it's because i also like to visit blogs who have things in common with me from my profile list. mostly though, i just love that next blog button(that's how i found yours)

10.it's a huge full time job keeping this a secret. people i live with know i have it, but i dont tell them the address. i don't share my address with my b-friend for many many reasons, too many to list here. bascically i'm a very secretive person and i like having a place that i can escape to on a daily basis to purge my thoughts and have noone i actually know read it!

p.s this post was a delight to read and participate it, thanx.

Susie, this is a good one. I can't resist a list either.
2. I don't care if someone doesn't have a pithy :-) comment. It makes me happy to see comments. Of course, they've all been good comments so far.
3. I feel guilty if folks comment on my blog and I don't get back with them, but don't always feel bad the other way around.
4-5. I don't know what to do about links either. I'm always thrilled when people link to me. I went to blogroll and could have that on the side of my browser, but I don't know how to publish. Like you, I'm afraid I'd leave someone out.
6. Cool idea, time-consuming.
7. Love it
8. I think we tend to go back where we feel comfortable. There are some sites I read but don't necessarily comment as I didn't feel welcomed after my first comments. I love our "community", I feel very welcome here.
10. Ichabod has to tell me to shut up about blogs sometimes. He was one of the people, lots of help from Bucky, who talked me into blogging. He reads but has never commented yet.
11. Susie we love you. There would be a big gap in the blogworld if you stopped writing. Oh, and I owe you a recipe.

Okay, here goes:
1. I never, ever, want you to leave. Your mine and only mine, enough said.

2. I like that I have people that read me anonymously. I used to be a comment junkie (still am), but I find that I'm also tickled by the voyeuristic thing too.

3. I worry about this one. I feel like I have commentors that come regularly to me and leave comments and then I never get back to them on their sites. I've noticed that some have stopped commenting, but I wonder if they still visit. Mostly I don't comment on any sites other than those I have on my list, a.k.a. my community.

4-5. I've seen my site linked on someone new and I'm thrilled, but then I just leave quietly and enjoy the fact that there are others outside my group reading my blog. Fortunately, I've not found my site linked to anything I find troubling like you have.

6. I find that even with a list, and a growing one at that, is that I have less and less time lately to make the rounds. It's also summer and I spend a lot more time outside and doing things. Work has become demanding too. It's just tough to keep up.

(skipping 7)
8. Community. You know who you are and I love ya all to death. It's just reinforcing faith in humanity, that there is a hope for us as a whole.

9. Never happened to me, but then, I'm not Ms. Bootyflies either. ;-)THAT is quotable shit there.

10. I could never keep it a secret from Nick, and now I wouldn't want to. It has helped us in many ways. He reads it everday and tells me what he thought, and it's great. I love it.

11. Thank you Susie, for bringing so much to the experience every day.

In summary, I have been giving a lot of thought to these issues/questions of late, and I think it's rather funny that we all are looking at it. Maybe we all started blogging about the same time and have arrived at a level where we are trying to figure out what is next. Some of you have obviously been here longer than me. I guess lately, I've really had a hard time keeping up and have wondered if my real focus is comments or posting. I would really like to focus more on posting and not feel bad for falling behind in comments. I still read and visit everyone, but I don't always have a comment to leave. I like taking my nugget of experience away and keeping it for me only. Does that make sense?

I wrote about this too --

http://marybishop.blogspot.com/2005/06/blog-get-cat-remember-back-to-your.html

Kitsune came up with a nice idea for the drop by no comment person - just leave an "IDB" as in I dropped by - as a way to say hello.

I'm trying to employ that but if you didn't read his comments, then you'd have no idea what IDB meant.

I've found myself on blogrolls and have no idea why that person put me on...no idea who the person is nor ever received a comment from them...I don't do that, but I guess some people do, and like you I'm flattered.

As far as groups go, Um-- I never fit well into any group so I don't think I'm in a group..am I? But all people are welcome to my blog and no blogger (except one) has ever said or done anything to hurt my feelings in any way.

I love writing my blog and I love reading other blogs, but some weeks I'm top-heavy on writing and other weeks top-heavy on reading...

It's got to be fun or why would we do it?

One thing I know for sure, when I started I had one or two people who'd visit my blog and it was quite simple to keep up with their comments and their blogs - now it's crazy out there...lots of people visiting, lots of blogs I've found that are very interesting...I'd need a social secretary to keep everything straight - so sometimes I forget about a blog or don't comment or don't visit just because I've put myself on a time limit for blogging or I'd be here all day.

The real world still calls me...darn it all.

I sometimes lurk, mostly to see new comments, and in some cases I'm checking to see if there's a new posting for the day.
*c'mon Susie, it's Monday, where is your daily post?...click... dammit- nothing yet!*

I have visited certain blog communities where I get the feeling they're closed tighter than a fortress. When I make a few comments, and they're ignored, well... I'm not wasting my time anymore. You don't need to visit my blog if you find it boring, but it's nice to have your comments recognized.

I've also thought about a list, but I have too many lists going at this time.

OK, as a self-described "long-time lurker", one of the reasons I will decide not to comment on any given blog any given day is because there are already so many comments I can't read them all as it is. But I keep coming back to hopefully read them all before bed.

There's "links" etiquette??! Oh dear...

There's homework involved in blogging, like notebooks and stuff? Oh dear...

There's blog communities? Do you get an invitation? Is it rude to invite yourself? Oh dear...

Mr. Eclectic thinks I'm perfectly nuts to spend time I don't have writing/reading stuff on blogs, but he drops by occasionally all the same.

Nah, Susie ... I don't invite my wife into my online life. She's not interested, and that's fine by me. It's a thing.

I have to say, it took me a long time to figure out how to make a list of blogs I frequent, and when I linked to another blog, I tried to inform that blogger that I was doing so. I also don't frequent without commenting on occassion. I'm not sure how these mini cliques start, but I'm glad to be a part of this one. I think, however, you became one of the famous bloggers with your "Booty-Flies" story--so many people quoted it, even on Dooce and there are thousands who visit there.
I have a friend who I know is mainly a lurker--she never comments, I think she's shy--but I find the internet a great place to speak your mind.....

Hi Susie. I too have found sites of people I've never heard of that have me linked. I'm flattered, but it creeps me out a little.

I wish I had never put up a list of links for the same reason you don't have one. I'm really lazy about updating it ,and there are some sites I read on a regular basis and I haven't linked them yet. (Nilbo for instance)
I do think links are great though. It's how I discovered many of my favorite bloggers. If I like a blogger that I usually like their taste in blogs, so I click on their links.

Sometimes I visit a site several times a day and don't comment because I don't feel I have anything to say. For instance, one of my favorite bloggers wrote a whole post about barbeque today. I'm a vegetarian, I disagreed with her, so I didn't comment. I try to follow the "if you don't have anything nice to say..." rule when commenting.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the blogging world. I feel like there are tons of great blogs out there that I am missing.
Misfit, Pissy Britches, etc. are examples of blogs that I have checked out and liked, but I keep forgetting to put them on my list.

But, mostly I'm thankful for all of the wonderful friends I have made online, like yourself.

Oh, and about the significant other knowing about your blog or not, well, when I first started, I wasn't sure if I would continue so I didn't say anything for fear of him laughing at me. Then I realized how much I enjoyed blogging and how much time it took up so I told him about it. He's not really a computer guy and has yet to look at it, but I'm not hiding anything from him, which I think is the best way to keep a marriage! (He's always very honest and open with me so it's only fair that I am with him too...that and honesty is very important in any relationship)

First, I have to add to what I was saying in my reply to Weetzie. I went back to my very first post, and I DID leave 3 people out (I knew I'd do that!): Summer, Nilbo and darling Mamaramma. Summer, bless her heart, actually did #7 for me, the first one ever to do that, and how welcoming was THAT? And of course, Nilbo crowned me "Queen for a Day" by inviting Rosie here that fateful day. I am grateful for such early encouragement. I was also severely trolled early on, and nearly threw in the towel, because...who needs THAT crap?

blogaholic, thanks, and you're welcome, to comment or to lurk. I'm sorry to hear people have been unkind in your comments. That bugs me; I like to regard blogworld, at least this little corner of it, as welcoming, friendly and accepting. My unpleasant experiences here have been few and far between.
I'm very private, too, but I guess I don't put anything on here that can't become public knowledge. I know that many bloggers do, though. Sometimes that may invite people to get all up in your business, as I did to you when I first met you ;)

squirl, I don't think I've ever seen a blogger gain a "following" as quickly as you did. You put out such good energy. And (you know I have to say this) you have such brainy ideas! Yes, granola, I believe it was :)

cindy, they're not "official" communties; just sort of where people tend to hang out. It was, I guess, easier to find a "neighborhood" when a lot of us met at dooce, because it was easy to see whose sense of humor, of compassion, etc., was similar to yours. It's a little harder, now, but if you find a blogger you like, and comment regularly there, and visit some of the other commenters whose "personalities" appeal to you, then, before you know it, you're in like Mr. Rogers! (Most people who comment here regularly are brilliant, witty, kind, sexy, rich, philanthropic,...you get the idea ;)

greenie, well, that explains that! Of course you make sense, you almost always make more sense than most. You are blog royalty, my brother, and I think you know what I'm talking about!
I have wondered if blogging in general slows down in the summer. It will have to for me, real life changes so much that bloglife will have to follow suit.

MB, thank you again, for having that discussion that day, and thanks for posting the link here. I wanted to mention to people the idea of IDB -- a notation meaning "I dropped by," when you just have time to wave, not to visit.
You make an excellent point; it has to stay fun. That is definitely why I entered this world. Recreation at odd hours, because my working hours are odd. We have to understand, and trust that others understand, that not visiting and/or not commenting is not a reflection on you, your blog, your posts; it is most likely a reflection on the time constraints, mood, etc., of the visitor.

I do think of you as being in a group, at least in one of your own making. Probably more than one. You know, the Venn diagrams, with the overlapping circles? That's kind of how I see it.

sierrabella, as I've told you, your self-titled blog is like a vacation to me. I just love it. Thank you for being so supportive here, always. I can't post EVERY DAY!
I've visited those "gated communities," too. There are plenty of more open ones to enjoy :)

eclectic, oh dear, you're so young in blog years (weeks). I'm afraid this discussion could rob you of your innocence. There ARE communities, although most of them are not at all rigid. You are most welcome to hang out in this neighborhood, until you can afford the move to a nicer one ;) You don't HAVE to have a notebook; it's optional. Of course you're nuts, as is everyone who spends lots of time in blogworld. But it's the kind of nuts that are good for you, you know, with the right fats, enzymes, and whatnots.

Gotta run, talk to the rest of y'all later!

I'm not exactly sure if I remember how I found you, but I saw a picture of Biscuit and he just reminded me so much of my beloved 4-legged brother/Lhasa Apso that died in March of 2003 that I have come back a few times to see that sweet face. Please forgive a little nostalgic puppy love.

I had no idea how personally and competitively this was all becoming. I have not been doing this long, and I only link to people I know in person, very well. Or sites referenced in my writing.

I have no desire to do a huge blog list- how very undiscriminating for me. I bookmark promising blogs, and go to them. Since I have few readers, I figured the sites I felt drawn to post on were going to have readers who might like my writing as well. Passive advertising. Avoids being linked to porn sites.

I would prefer to get more comments on my site. The Complimenting Commentator came once and just made my day, so I try to spread positive messages- at very least- when I visit a site that I like. My point in putting this out on a blog was to get feedback. But, you know, whatever you are comfortable with.

Since I don't care if anyone likes me or not, I tend to assume no one cares if I like them or not. Therefore I think not reading the blog of someone who subscribes to my little site is irrelevant. If this bothers you, you probably are not going to enjoy my writing anyway, so it's as good a filter as any.

My spouse thinks my writing is very "brave" which I chose to take as a compliment.

nilbo, When a "thing" is like that, it's a THANG.

effie, I'm glad to be in the neighborhood with you, too. Yea, the time thing and the enjoyment thing make sharing blogging with my SO the thing to do, here, as well.

torrie, I could second pretty much everything you've said. I confess to hanging out at the site of someone I like and visiting their links, because I'm linkless, and I figured that person's taste was quite like mine. I feel overwhelmed, too, sometimes. So many interesting people, so little time. And, as I said to blogaholic, I agree with you, say something nice or move on. Life is tough enough without strangers giving you crap in blogworld. I'm happy to have met you, as well, and Dexter. (Not to dis Mookie, but I'm a dog person.)

futurefoodTVstar, no need to apologize. I was just waxing nostalgic for a lost doggy at greenie's the other day. I'm sorry for your loss, and happily share my VBD with you.

2. likes the read but doesnt have anything to say? maybe the person is worried they wont "fit" into the bloggroup

3. do they comment back to you when you comment on their site?

4. i have a list of blogs i enjoy reading, blogs i came across one way or another.

5. i dunno? lol

6. i guess thats why i have the linked list

8. i think this goes back to #2, and why people dont always comment everywhere they go. what if they get "rejected" by the group. no one likes rejection!

10. no partner, spouse, or SO here, but i think if there were one of those, they would know about the blog...

11. great read, thats why i come back...

zhoenw, you must have posted while I was writing. I wasn't aware, for a long time, of the personal/political. But I did become aware of it, and try to navigate when necessary. There are SO MANY blogs, that I'm quite sure most everyone can find people whose values, or style, or humor, or intellect, or whatever, appeals to them. I think the Complimenting Commenter has the right idea. Perhaps like you, that's what I was trying to do, go around saying nice things to people, then I discovered that there is that one person who has devoted his/her whole blog persona to doing just that.

madmanan, welcome. You may be right, I would hope people would get enough of a "flavor" here that they wouldn't be concerned about not being welcomed, but could be. As for #3, no, they don't! So maybe they ARE trying to tell me something! Although, I don't get back to everyone who comes here everytime; but I do try to make sure I get to them at least every now and then, to catch up with their posts and make sure they know I appreciate their visits. Thanks for participating in the discussion. Bloggers like to talk about blogging, it seems!

Ayup, Susie, bloggers do love to talk about blogging. Sometimes I worry that my blogging is too self-referential. Sometimes I don't care.

Jomama, I was just crackin' up about your comments over at HDL's place this morning. Hell, there's new inside jokes bein' made every day - because my blog life is much more daring and entertaining than my real life! - so never be afraid to jump in. Surely you understand it's hard to be "inappropriate" at the Cotillion. :)

Susie...I try to be pretty laid back about the whole blog thing. It's supposed to be fun. If it's not fun, it's time to quit. That general rule of thumb seems to work for me. If blogging feels like "work" something's wrong.

Sometimes I get busy and cannot reply to everyone or go to their blogs and comment. I still love them, I'm just busy. Sometimes I run across someone who's linked, refered to me, or blogrolled me...I'm always flattered.

That's how I do it!

I'm guilty of "lurking". There are blogs that I read daily that I've probably never commented on. Part of the reason is, like this entry, I can't think of anything that hasn't already been said.

As for linking, I'm flattered when other people link to me, I can't imagine anyone finding anything I write that facinating. It doesn't bother me though when people who I link to, don't link to me. I like to read alot of different styles of blogs, those people's reading interests may not include the types of stories I write. There are blogs that I read, that aren't on my "Daily Reads" list, because others may find them offensive.

Comments are another reason I sometimes check back on certain blogs a few times a day. Sometimes the comments are as entertaining as the post itself.

Dang I do tend to ramble :)

Ok, after visiting you several times today, I think I have drank enough Kool Aid to comment.

1. Trapped? In my blog? Never, your not trapped, you like it, its a good place to be, look deeply into my boobies, say it with me Susie, Its nice at Jessica's, I love it there, boobies, boobies.

2.If you want to accuse me of stalking just say it, dont beat around the bush and leave hints, I understand. Fine. Be like that then, see if I still stalk you. (dives back into the bushes,waiting for the beating to start)

3.Is there such a thing as an ordinary blogger? I think not. Therefore, your question is null and void.Next time please phrase your response in the form of an answer. Thank you. Please drive through.

4.So what your saying here is late at night your up lurking around blogs but yet you call ME a stalker? Uh huh. I think the panties are on the other hiney now aren't they dear Susie.

5. I do try to link the people who link me, and then the ones I read alot but sometimes, I am flat out having way to much sex to remember to update so I just keep going into my favorites list. Man, I need to stop practicing my karate and get my links updated. Thanks for reminding me during a brief moment of clothing.

6.Ok all I saw in this one was "tickle me". Gladly. When is good for you?

7. If you want a real way to "give back" just email me, I have LOTS of suggestions. Heh. What? I am totally talking bout cookies or rice a roni.

8.I recognize no authority besides the United Front of Jessica's No Pants Liberation. I go where I want and say what I want, some places are just alot more fun to be. Especially when you have on no pants.

9.Um was I supposed to give you credit when I told that story about the airport workers finding the sex toys in my bag? I mean I know you told me about it during one of our girls nights curl our hair paint our toes parties, so I didnt think you wanted anyone to know it was really about you but now that you say that, Im all paranoid.

10.Nick knows everything I do, he is such my bitch, what is he going to do about it? Tell me no? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA that would be so cute if he did. I love when people try to tell me no. Its so adorable.

11.Your welcome and thank you. And really, there IS more fun you can have then this, but I dont know if your ready for me to tell you that secret yet. But you did so good with the naughty email to the hubby, you might be ready soon.

hi susie,

i stumbled upon your site some time ago, back in the day when dooce comments were still around. i think i posted once there, but mostly i was just highly entertained by it all. i think that's a reason i fall into number two [there's a google search for you]. but i do enjoy reading here, and thought this as good a time as any to de-lurk. besides, any fellow believer that is not offended by dooce-like writing has to be all right in my book. ;)

and number three i've been wondering about, myself. i don't get it. hmmm.

I am guilty of #2, and I hear you on #5! I don't know WHAT proper linkage protocol is, truthfully. I atually look at many more blogs than I have links to, but it's hard to get around to updating. And I don't want to feel like I HAVE to link...
I don't think #4 has ever happened to me... I am not very good at figuring out who has BEEN at my blog, so it's not really an issue, actually. :)

I'm sort of guilty as charged in #2. Sorry. Sometimes I have nothing to say...or I'm at work and am afraid of getting caught. I've cut back on the latter significantly of late.

So do you know which sites I visit from? teehee

I just figured the people who link to me but I don't know who they are recognize ultra cool when they see it ;-)

and as for not listing your links, here's another reason: it's a bitch to maintain that list! I haven't added at least 20 blogs because it's the only nice thing to do after they've commented....silly me. However, if you need a reference for who's blog you want to see next, go to Kristine's blog, and use her list. When you're done with one blog, click the back button to Kristine's blog, and click on the next one you want to read. Works for me anyway ;-)

Oh, and the likely-to-be-ditched- soon Hot Prof thinks my blog and photo blog are stupid and I've purposely been annoying him lately by talking incessantly about the blogosphere and my photo blog page...that's really a lot of fun, too. When I'm at parties with him, though, I don't talk about it, I want to make friends with those people and have someone nice to talk to.

bucky, blogging can be like therapy in that way -- it's all about ME. But that's OK, everyone knows that. And even for the most narcissistic among us, it's not ALL about me, just mostly.

laurenbove, and you do it so well; a true original, and always a pleasure to visit :) (I love to flirt with you; have you noticed this?)

romani heart, rambling is strongly encouraged here. Like you, I enjoy comments as much as or more than the posts, on my blog and on others'. The post is the invitation, and the comments are the party -- sometimes.

JR . . . Ahem, . . . . oh, lordhavemercy, I guess my response to all that can best be summed up in a quote by a famous anonymous reformed stripper: "the panties are on the other hiney now."

mdog, welcome, thank you for delurking -- and for lurking, too -- with dooce's 40,000 hits per day, there were clearly more lurkers than posters. I guess that's true for most of us, certainly true, here.

cat, thanks for your input. I read in a blogging article that won a "bloggie" last year that the whole link thing had certain rules of etiquette. From what I've gotten here today, y'all are some rude dudes who just don't mind your linking manners at ALL ;)
I shall not give it another thought.

lilsis, you comment sometimes. I'm seriously talking about people who comment NE-VER. I have used Kristine and others (mrtl, greenie, closet metro) in just that way.
Are you really going to dump him? I thought he didn't know about your blog. Actually, I thought of your situation today. Like, what man wouldn't want their girlfriend to go on the internet and talk about how hot he is? Well, some, maybe, but most would really like that.

Ok, I have to admit, I fit #2. I have been blogging for about a month now and have been visiting different blog sites for the past few weeks. As you said, there seem to be blogging communities and I guess that I am just a shy blogger and I don't want to intrude where I am not welcome. I also feel that you have to get to know the person (like a character in a good book) before you just start commenting. From this time on, I will try to comment if I read someones blog more than 2x. Also... how do you know someone has read your blog? Is there some way to track this????

As for my DH knowing about my blog. Yes, he does know about it, but luckily for me, he is very technologically challenged and doesn't know how to find my blog.
Also, yes, it does take a lot of my time, but this just gives him more time to watch sports.

By the way, I am KGrams and I have a blog about my life with my DH (dear hubby), Teenager and Doodlebug. OK, it also includes some ranting and raving about work. But come on, we all have to vent sometimes.

HOLY cow! I don't get online all day, and there are already 51 comments (52 now) on this post. Which means it's all been said ;)

Seriously, I've been thinking I need to cut down my blog-reading time somehow. I read way more blogs than are listed on my blog. I have thought about organizing folders in my Favorites for each day of the week (but there are some that I would HAVE to check every day, or I would quickly fall behind. You are one of them, Miss Booty-flies.)

It doesn't bother me that people lurk and don't leave comments. I think a lot of people enjoy reading the posts but don't feel the need to join in on the discussion, for whatever reason.

Re: #5, I'm totally with you, as you know.

kgrams, like you, I have lurked for quite a while before commenting. You do want to make sure you like the "character," I appreciate that. To see who's visiting, you can go to sitemeter.com; they have a variety of free and pay services to track who's visiting you.

andrea, I hear you on the time thing. I have to come up with a plan, too, before I have to get out altogether. I've thought of doing a schedule like you mention, some daily reads, maybe some a couple times a week, etc. Let me know if you come up with a good plan!

kalki, I almost posted an addendum to this post, for clarification of #2, but I didn't want to beat a dead horse. I want to be clear: I understand lurking, I lurk, myself. What I'm curious about is the lurking dozens of times a day for months.

summer, you are so cool.

Hey! I saw your blog and had to comment with regard to the linking thing when we "haven't met." Guilty as charged! :) My intent, on my blog, is to basically try to provide people with something/someone that I thought wrote well, was amusing or just plain had a different take on things. I don't "introduce" myself for a "meet and greet" primarily because I don't think one should feel like an "obligatory" link back; to me this blogging thing is about self-discovery and creativity in a sense, not a popularity contest. :)

Hey, Anon, thanks for stopping in :) I appreciate your low-key attitude, hakuna matata, and like that ;)

I am guilty of the "2. What is up when someone visits a site MANY times a day, but never comments?" offense as well, for I am a lurker. I have just broken my lurker status by posting a comment, but you are an enjoyable read so what the hey.

CSS = Cascading Style Sheets. It's what makes your page look nice. Google has done this for you with with the template you use.

And yes, I CAN see your body. It looks like this:

body {
margin:0;
padding:0;
font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, sans-serif;
font-size: small;
text-align:center;
color:#29303B;
line-height:1.3;
background:#483521 url("http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/bg.gif") repeat;
}

Zero padding. Very nice. But you seem to come from an odd background.

There are many times that I don't comment and for me, it is normally a time issue. However, it is almost a certainty that the blogs I have listed on my site, I visit just about daily - sometimes more than once a day. I love to keep up and only comment when something really grabs me or I have something to say. I loved your list though. I have wondered those same things myself.

I tried briefly to keep my blog from my husband but I broke down. I had to tell him. I think he thinks I'm kind of a nerd. But I don't think he reads it very often.

Just wanted to say hello, SusieToo. When I originally started JOTD several years ago, I kept it secret. That got to be too stressful, so I took it down. When I brought it back, I told everyone. Even my boss. That's had its pros and cons.

There are so many amazing blogs out there and only so many hours to each day. I think we all try to make the rounds as best we can and comment when we feel like we have something to add (or just want to say hi). But sometimes it does start to feel like a full-time job.

hmmm...so successful that her blog is not even reachable (does it even exist?)

and YOUNGER than Susie? Wow...shocker. Suze, you can delete this my comment if you want. I just couldn't resist :)

WOW! Fabulous post! I have wondered the same myself on some of those. I am guilty of #2 sometimes. Referring to the post and not the body function here. I do have an affinity for #8, if you can tell a little by my blogroll list. I visit many places that are outside of my normal life. Susie, you are one of the coolest blogfriends I know. I'm glad I found you through Dooce b4 she shut down the comments. LOL! And I will always give you credit for taking an idea from you. It's just not right to do otherwise. :)

srh, thanks for letting me know you were here, you're welcome to lurk or comment, as the spirit moves you :)

peefer, oh my! You know me better than I know myself. You even got the odd background right. (Except, believe me, there IS padding ;)

sfg, I do get the time thing; this hobby takes a lot of it. I have been very surprised, and pleased that so many people have said they wondered about these things. I don't know that we've come up with many answers, but maybe it helps to know we're all asking the same kinds of questions :)

paintingchef, I would imagine it would add some stress, for those hoping a spouse doesn't find out; so even if he doesn't read, at least you don't have to keep a secret. But I'll be he reads ;)

audrey, ...let's see....OK, I got one: Sincerity is an admirable quality :) Hope your day gets better.

julie, you have dealt with something that I haven't, being self-employed I don't have to worry about a boss reading; on the other hand, clients reading raises a whole 'nother Oprah. I completely agree with the time, the trying to make the rounds, and sometimes just a quick "hi" to say, "I still think your cat's pajamas, just can't hang out right now!" BTW, that's for you, love, haven't visited in a while but you're on my list :)

andrea, what are you saying?! It's not hard to be younger than ME?! You hurt me to the core, Andrea ;) I think I'll keep you, anyway; although be advised you may be asking for troll trouble :)

Dr.M., lordhavemercy, if this is where you come to get your sanity, I don't even want to know where you go to get your crazy . . . oh, wait, I'll bet I could guess ;) Thanks for commenting today :)

nic, 'fess up, you're guilty of all sorts of #2s! Thank you for the love today, my friend. You are a bright spot to me, as well :)

Wow, I read this post and had so much to say. But I see it's all been said before, already, in some form or fashion.

So the only thing I'll add is that nobody who knows me in real life knows about my blog. At least not that I know of. And if they did? It would cease to be, because I'd cease feeling as 'free'.

Time consuming, yes. But if it's a passion, there's a way.

I visit you often, and never comment, and don't quite know why. So I'll add one more thing, to spite myself.

Hello, it's nice to 'meet' you.

NOOOOOOOOO!!! Only that someone is acting in such a way that makes it quite obvious that she is infinitely younger than you, in SO many ways :) You are young in spirit, but not in wisdom, Susie, and both of those are important.

And I have to say I'm horrified that someone with such a great name ;) could be so mean to my friend Susie.

jennifer, it's nice to meet you, too. Realworld people do know about my blog, and I believe you're right, it does limit freedom a bit. Thanks for letting me know you were here. You're always welcome to comment or lurk, as you choose.

andrea, this is funny. I wasn't offended, but I did think you were saying, "Audrey, she's 45! We're ALL younger than she is!" But now I get it. I must be especially sensitive after the Kohl's incident last week! I thought the name would have attracted you to read that comment. Unfortunate, but you know, it's probably not her real one anyway :)

Hi Susie,

I was referred to your site by Kristine. I really enjoyed reading your post on Blogging and you make some excellent observations! I am fairly new to blogging and am still trying to figure out the proper "etiquette" and such in Blogland. :-) I really like your site. Have a great day!

OMG, I think you have been reading my mind from time to time! Fantastic post!

And you have so many friends!

Personally, I'm with Audrey. She rocks my world. I want her to comment on my blog. Come on, Audrey ... we'll cyber in my comments section!

refering to #7 - I love this..."That sounds compulsive, doesn't it? That's probably what I'll do."

I must admit, I've been a major lurker in the past 2 weeks - not many comments proffered...and I haven't caught up with everyone quite yet - and I see here that I gots lots to read up on.

by the way, yousah MAJOR cutie

no, thank YOU, Susie!

I've got a file for great blogs listed under my "Favorites," and I always enjoy a trip to yours. Ever since I stumbled upon on it just randomly blog surfing, I've been hooked. Thanks for sharing with us:-)

Hi Susie,
I've been reading your blog for a while.

I've been getting better at commenting in recent times but I never used to comment, unless I had something really significant to say.

I've just recently put you on my links list because I love reading your blog and I'm just getting learned in the blog-manners thing. I think your blog manners are great!

marie, welcome. We're all still trying to figure it out!

j bo, welcome. I have been truly surprised at how many people said they thought about these things. I REALLY thought this was just a venting post, that people would skip over. Shows what I know! I have made some wonderful blogfriends in the past 3 months. It's usually not nearly this busy here, though :)

nilbo, you tickle me. I hope she takes you up on it ;)

annejelynne, thank you, you honey bunny, I'm going to take that compliment, because who would know "cutie" better than you?

ash "le shark,", hello again, I remember your name and cute pic. Thanks for saying such kind things :)

maja, thanks for letting me know you were here, and for linking me. You're always welcome to comment or to lurk.