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Sunday, October 08, 2006

flower and fencepost

Sunday Post ~ "We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence." -- Joseph Roux

2 Corinthians 4:16-17

file under: &Sunday Post

12 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger Lynn said...

No Gospel? I'm still too lazy to look it up. As for the quote - perhaps there is no word for one who has lost his friend because one who is friendless becomes, in a sense, akin to invisible (no friends, no unbiased mirrors). Perhaps people know this instinctively and no word has materialized because most people are basically good and know intuitively that the stigma of such a label would be damaging to the soul.

Blogger Platypus said...

Hi Susie, hope you're having a good Sunday. I like this one. I see it slightly differently from Lynn: there is no name for someone who has lost a friend. They don't carry a label that clearly identifies them but their loss is still great. It's a good quote, thank you. x

Blogger Susie said...

lynn, I am always humbled by how your mind works, and by your sharing. I hadn't even thought in terms of being "friendless." That state would be damaging to the soul, with or without the label, I suppose.

platypus, yes, this quote struck me in much the same way. When we lose a family member, everyone knows. When we lose a friend -- in whatever way that happens -- our grieving is likely to be much more solitary, though often just as difficult and long-lasting. If I say I lost my father, there are immediate (even if inaccurate) assumptions made. If I say I lost my friend -- what kind of friend, for how long, how'd you meet, lost how, etc. Much explanation is required, sometimes more than is possible.
You lovely ladies got me thinking. Thinking is good :)

Blogger Squirl said...

I know for a fact how much sympathy and support is there when you lose a family member. It's hard to get the same from people when you lose a friend.

Happy Sunday, sis.

Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Great. Just great. I can delete junk mail all day but can STILL come here and find out I'm impotent?

*goes off to buy some of that weird-named African bark stuff*

Blogger judypatooote said...

Beautiful picture Susie....

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The picture is lovely...as usual.

Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

That is a very good point. I never thought of that before. Seems sorta sad there is no word for that.

I love coming by here on Sundays. I always get thinking about new stuff.

Blogger eclectic said...

In physics class, I learned the principle of "conservation of matter" which, in my simplified memory, essentially stands for the idea that matter is not truly lost, though it changes form and seems to disappear. I would postulate that the same is true of friendness -- that which is good and enobling that passes between friends remains, even if the friendship or friend is eventually lost.

Blogger Susie said...

Happy Sunday, squirly girl :)

mrB, I only tell you because I love you. Let us know how that bark works for you :p

thanks, judyp

aw, thank you, traci

kranki, I never thought about it much either, until recently. Then I saw this quote and it's been rattling around in my head for months. I'm happy you come here on Sundays (any other days too).

eclectic, that is beautiful and I would like to believe it's true. Been thinking about friends I have lost, both IRL and here. Through death, loss of contact, through learning that someone is not as he or she seemed . . . and thinking of friendships that I'm losing even now . . . but I like what you said, about what remains.

Blogger Nina said...

I read this yesterday and really had to think about it.
When my grandma died, to most people grandmas' are suppose to die. But since she raised me for the first five years and then the rest of my life much of my time was spent with her. It was like losing a mother in so many ways.
If someone is a friend of mine they are like family.
I hope I have learned not to judge by whom has died ~ a parent, child, friend, spouse or beloved pet. I hope I listen and take the grief for what it is and at face value.
Losing someone that you love, means the grief is as individual as the love.

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

The thing about losing family vs. losing friends -- when you lose family, you lean on your friends for comfort, support, understanding. When you lose a friend, it's hard to know where to turn.

I've been blessed with a couple of very close friends, and several good friends online... including you, Susie Q.

I love you!


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