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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

When Bad Words Happen to Good Kids (#2)

Here's another "bad word" story -- well, sort of.

Background: We're not allowed to say "shut up" in our family. Last year, in second grade, LG still had the teeniest tiniest bit of a lisp (lithp) left, when saying a word with the letter S.

One day we three were "working" (OK, hanging out) in the backyard, and she says to me, "If Daddy doesn't stop teasing me, I'm gonna say it. I mean it, I'm gonna say it."

"You're gonna say what?" I ask her.

"I'm gonna tell him the F-U word!" Jif and I look at each other; I have a heart attack. There's no way. I have her repeat it a couple of times, and I finally get that with her lisp, what she's saying is "ETH-U," which still isn't registering with me, so she comes and whispers the bad words in my ear, "You know, 'shut up.'"

Oh, ETH-U!

27 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Hee hee! I love that! Next time some driver cuts me off, or honks at me, I'm going to shake my fist out the window and shout "ETH-U!" ;)

Blogger _Summer_ said...

I had a very, very slight lisp when I was her age, too. I had a little speech therapy, got some braces (to help correct the cross-bite that didn't help), and now, as an adult, I'm quite able to say ALL the bad words perfectly.


Cute story, Susie.

Blogger Pissy Britches said...

Damn..that is so funny. How cute! That makes you want to tell her to go and say that to Daddy just this one time! Kids are CUTE!

Blogger Pissy Britches said...

BTW-you have officially been added as one of "Mrs. Pissy's Bitches"

Blogger little sister said...

LMFAO!! That beats every story I've ever heard or told.

And as Stephanie and Kristine (and probably 10 other bloggettes) have, I also have added you to my list of sister bloggettes.

Are you Erma Bombeck's neice or grandaughter or other relative?

Anonymous LadyBug said...

"Shutup" and "stupid" are not allowed at our house.

When The Drama Queen was in kindergarten, she came home telling me one little girl had said a bad word at school.

"Mom, K said the 'S' word today."
"Oh, really? Which 'S' word?"
"The bad 'S' word."
"Oh, really? Which one?"
"The really bad S-H word."

At this point, of course, I was thinking, Holy crap, K said "shit" at school. In Kindergarten!! And I know this little girl, and wouldn't have put it past her.

So, with much anxiety, I asked The Drama Queen, "What's the really bad S-H word?"

She whispered to me, "Mom, K said 'shutup.'"

I tried not to let her see me breathing that huge sigh of relief as I said, "Ooooooh, that is really bad."

Then I thanked God that my little girl was still so innocent that she still thought "shutup" was the really bad S-H word.

Blogger Squirl said...

We weren't told not to say stupid or shut up. That's a good idea. One might even say it's a brainy idea.

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Growing up, STUPID and SHUT UP were VERY commonplace in our house. We thought it might be a good idea to change that pattern.

Of course, now when our 7 year old hears my Mom say either of those words, she tells my Mom "We don't say that word."

Blogger Spurious Plum said...

Eth-ing hilarious!

Blogger Susie said...

CK the ETH-U while driving reminds me of something I heard about one of my sisters-in-law: she yelled the F-word apparently rather frequently when in traffic, until my niece, about 18 months at the time, would respond to hearing a car horn with the innocent question, "Fuck? Fuck?" I was thinking the same thing as what you said, earlier today, about how in my house growing up, everybody told everybody to shut up, all the time! I'm glad we don't do that; although I have been guilty of a "Princess Diaries" kind of "shut UP!" meaning, "no way," "get outta here," etc.

Summer, I'm so glad you can curse clearly now;)

Mrs. PB, this is truly an honor. Are there tiaras or sashes or something that your, uh, bitches wear?

little sister, thank you, you're too nice to me. It makes me smile a lot to think that I've made someone else smile or laugh. Much of my life is life-and-death serious, a lot of the time. This blog is where I play, be just as goofy as I wanna be.

ladybug, it's so precious how they try so hard to do the right thing (AND to make sure we know how BAD other kids are!) Their innocence just gets you right HERE.

Doh!squirl! I told you no brainy ideas up in here! Look at this mess...

Eth. Plum, Eth it ith. That reminds me, as a toddler, LG never said, "yea," it was always, "Yes," which of course, sounded like "Eth." There was "eth" or "no."

Blogger SierraBella said...

When Bad Words Happen To Good Moms?
My mother never said anything stronger than darn... until she was cut off suddenly (in traffic) and spat out SHITHEAD!
Giggles erupted from us kids, and she had to pull over because she began laughing so hard.
From then on we just had to egg her on- "C'mon Mom say it! She wouldn't- darn.

Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Oh, the bad word stories are too ething priceless! Now I have a new phrase: "Well, isn't that a dammit?"
And Squirl, don't have brainy ideas where people can see you. I think you're old enough to know better, girlie.

Blogger Greenthumb said...

Cute...I got nothing here. XO

Anonymous SUB said...

Then they go to college.

Blogger laurenbove said...

I'm so glad mine isn't the only one. He's two and decided to use the word "fart" lound and clear for the VERY first time at TJ MAXX (the finest store in the land.)

Right after I read your "bad words #1" post I whacked my head trying to get him into the car seat and HE said: "fuck." Not me, the two year old said it for me.

Laughed so hard I got a stomach ache and gave him a little too much positive reinforcement. I'm waiting for the next time. I will have control.

Blogger Susie said...

sierrabella, I imagine that's a very smiley memory. Sounds like your mom had a great sense of humor. My mom used to have, I think, various levels of swear words. She never went beyond Level 2. No "F" words and nothing involving God or Jesus.

bucky, it is a very functional expression, I think. BTW, I think your brainy sister peed on my blog.

aw, greenie, even though you don't have a little one, surely you've had a speech impediment at some point; or a favorite curse word you'd like to share? XOXO.

laurenbove, see, that shows how much empathy your son has for your pain; it's a beautiful thang, you're raising him right!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is too cute!


Blogger Greenthumb said...

We were never allowed to use the word 'Fart' around my grandma's house...we could say 'fluffer', which holds entirely different conotations for me now that I'm a huge porn star.

Blogger Susie said...

greenie, "fluff" is what LG used for "fart," until this year when the 3rd graders overpowered the family as the dominant influence. When she was about 3 and got really angry at her dad, she needed to call him a name, but didn't know any, since we never did that or allowed it, no older sibs, etc., but she came up with, "you..you... you big ol' fluffer!" I didn't realize you were a HUGE porn star. I'm only a minor porn star, so I have to fluff myself. (I'm crackin' myself up here...)

Blogger Nilbo said...

A schoolteacher friend of mine told me about a kid who ran up to her in the schoolyard to tattle on one of the boys who was " ... sayin' the "R" word!"

They looked at him, baffled.

"You know, the "R" word!" he repeated.

More baffled looks.

"He said if I didn't like it, I could kiss his arse!"

Blogger Susie said...

nilbo, thank you for adding a little cultural diversity to the exchange. I just came back from dooce where Bucky was tossing around the "P" word(s): "penis afficionado," which I think translates roughly as "slut." I need to investigate further, though...

Blogger Andrea said...

I thought of a couple other "bad" words I occasionally use that, despite not truly being bad words, I would never let my kids hear me say: freakin' or friggin'. Ironically, even though freakin' sounds more like the original, I'd probably be more shocked if she said friggin, because it's otherwise not even really a word (at least she may have heard "freak" in a better context).

Blogger Susie said...

andrea, I say "freakin'" too, and don't let LG hear it. I think.

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Greenie, re: "fluffer" and you currently being a huge porn star... I think it's so great when kids figure out early what they want to be when they grow up.

Hey, did someone say Freak? That's my middle name. ;)

Circus (Freak) Kelli

Ha! kidding... I'm off in search of caffiene now...

Blogger Robert P said...


I just have to add that whenever my 3.5 year old gets out his fake tools he inevitably says "This damn thing is broken again."

I'm really working on watching my language...promise...

Blogger Susie said...

chuckles, welcome, and thanks for letting me know you were here. I visited your site...and now I'm wondering, what would little Chuckles say if someone said the word, "Dole" to him? Hmmm? THAT would be the test of how well you're watching your language;)

Blogger laurenbove said...

Thanks Susie/lawbrat...i think you're right. It's empathy. I'm going to explain it to his father like that if/when it happens again.

Now, Fart? Friday's my TJ's day so we'll have to see what happens. If his daily banter is any indication I'm in for trouble if he eats raw fruit.


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