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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Talkin' Turkey

turkey farm

Across the hall from my office is what I believed to be a daycare center. Turns out, it is some sort of work-release program for 3- and4-year-olds, from which they operate a turkey farm. As you can imagine, it's been a busy place this week. I've dealt with a turkey or two in my day, so I thought I'd take a moment to offer some last-minute turkey selection guidance, with a little help from my turkey-raising friends across the hall.

Do look for:

good bird

A plump, confident bird that will look you right in the eye. All parts should be . . . "in the ballpark," so to speak.

AVOID:

visually challenged turkey

A bird that appears intoxicated, or just effin' goofy. You don't want that.


inverted bird

The upside-down turkey, with crossed legs and shifty eyes. May also exhibit a paranoid demeanor. This bird will NOT digest easily.


ingrown turkey

Watch for the inbred turkey. Its feathers and legs tend to grow inward. Also be leery of turkeys with excessive glue or other miscellaneous white liquids dripping from their beaks. You just don't know where a turkey like this has been.


afflicted turkey

This is the "WTF" turkey. Any bird that elicits, as your first response, a startled "WTF?!" is to be avoided. Just say no.


In the true spirit of Thanksgiving, please accept my sincere

THANK YOU,

for visiting me here, for reading, commenting, lurking. Thank you for your interesting, funny, strange comments, and for your kind and encouraging emails. Blogging is so much more fun than I ever would have guessed, thanks to you. Yea, you.

Americans, enjoy your Thanksgiving. Everyone else, enjoy your tomorrow.

Thank someone for something!

file under: &The Kids Across the Hall

42 heads are better than one . . .

Blogger Closet Metro said...

Thank you for sharing YOU with us.

(the last turkey was done by Picasso, right?)

 
Blogger Susie said...

Good eye, CM! That is indeed, Jamal Picasso's work :)

 
Blogger Dawn said...

lol, thats super cute. i was just going to say that i like the one with the goofy eyes-lol

 
Blogger hellokittn said...

SOOOO CUTE!!!

Ya kno, ya really can't trust the normal lookin birds either. Sometimes they turn out just fowl.

Foul?

Whatever :).

May your Thanksgiving be full of glee :)!!!

 
Blogger Cori said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Susie!

What a lucky woman you are to have a pictorial in the good, the bad, and the ugly in turkeys right across the hall. Thank you for sharing that knowledge with us!

 
Blogger Annejelynn said...

yer dah schweetest! Happy TURKEY DAY (those paper craft turkeys are the cutest!!!)!

gobble gobble!

 
Blogger Annejelynn said...

p.s. I love CM - he's so clevah!

And I love Susie too, of course!

 
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Thanks for sharing the delightful turkeys. I’m glad none will find themselves inside an oven today. May you find an abundance of blessings for which to give thanks!

 
Anonymous Emma said...

Happy Thanksgiving Susie!

 
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Now that I've seen the goods, which one can I eat??

Goble-dee-gobble-dee Goo!

 
Blogger eviluncledave said...

I <3 the "WTF" turkey. Reminds me of me.

And a very happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, Susie.

 
Blogger Nilbo said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Susie. I'm glad I found you ...

 
Anonymous Sharkey said...

As usual, that was hilarious, Susie. Thanks for sharing your writing and yourself with us.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 
Blogger Squirl said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Sis! Love those turkey pictures. Hope you guys are having a great day!

 
Blogger Susie said...

blogaholic, you have a lot to learn about turkeys, missy!

chchchchia, there are some foul fowl afoot.

cori, it's nice to see you! You're welcome. Have a great day.

annejelynn, well, OF COURSE you love ME ;) gobble gobble to you, too.

ssnick, every day is Thanksgiving. Truly; I don't really have a right to complain about much of anything.

emma, thanks, to you, too!

mr.b, actually, with the right wine, or should I say, with ENOUGH wine, any of them would do ;)

eud, oh my, I hope you're exaggerating just a bit ;) Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, too.

nilbo, thank you, it's good to be found :)

sharkey, thank you for all of your sharing, too. Happy Thanksgiving, happy cooking!

squirl, thanks, sweetie. So far, I'm the only one having any kind of a day. The other turkeys are still sleeping!

 
Blogger eviluncledave said...

lol. Perhaps I should qualify that by saying that the "WTF" turkey picture is a fair depiction of me pre-coffee/shower at 4:30 a.m. on any given weekday. At least that's what it feels like anyway. ;)

 
Blogger August95 said...

What happened to that poor WTF turkey. It has holes in the wrong place.

Happy Thanksgiving Susie. Thank you for sharing your funny, strange and interesting stories with us. Have a wonderful time with your family.

 
Blogger eviluncledave said...

P.S. I, uh, "borrowed" WTF turkey for my header image, lol.

 
Blogger Karen said...

I dunno, I have an affinity for the upside-down turkey. That one stands out in a crowd. Not so much paranoid as... observant. And think of the big brain that must be locked up in that giant head. Yes, don't underestimate that turkey.

 
Blogger Effie said...

Thank you for being you--and for such a lovely post with depictions of turkeys from every mode of artwork--impressionistic, classical, etc...

 
Blogger dashababy said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and thank you for your beautiful blog. It's always a pleasure to read. You are a beautiful lady with a beautiful heart. Thank you for sharing it with us.

 
Blogger Ern said...

Those turkeys are hysterical! Especially the drippy one.

And I'll join the others in thanking YOU for bein' a part of the fray. Love ya!

 
Anonymous lawbrat said...

Oh Susie...you do never know where the beak has been...


Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy.

 
Blogger afdalieuroiuf said...

whilst i still haven't had the opportunity to partaketh in the holiday eggnog, i still must write to say that this is one of your much funnier posts, rivaling perhaps only the "booty flies" post, which still makes me cry... i give thanks for you! and other such sweet-hearted blogger friends o' mine.

 
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

Thank you for those damned cute turkeys. Seriously CUTE! Happy Thanksgiving!

 
Blogger ducklet said...

happy thanksgiving, susie

 
Blogger Susie said...

eud, yea, I know what you mean; when I was reading these comments yesterday, I was looking a little WTFish myself ;) You are most welcome to the WTF turkey. It's not like he was in big demand for someone's table...

august, yes, the poor thing is afflicted. Thank you for wishing us those lovely wishes.

karen, see, I think the "different strokes" principle is at work here . . . no, maybe it's the "birds of a feather" thing. Myself, I cannot identify with a giant brain and a small butt, being fashioned in exactly the opposite manner. But YOU, you are probably someone who has more in common with this bird. I stand corrected, by your wise, observant self ;)

effie, yeaaaaa, that's the ticket. Fine art. That's what I was trying to tell y'all . . .

dashababymama, you are too sweet. Sweet as all that pie I ate yesterday :) I hope you and your family had a wonderful day.

thanks, ern! Rightbackatcha :)

lawbrat, that's all I'm sayin'... So glad you had a peaceful, happy day :)

razdreams, I thankest thou. (Art thou surest thou art not drunkest?)

kranki, thanks, I thought so, too. It is truly a treat being across the hall from those little whippersnappers. They always have bulletin boards like this out in the hall. Hey, maybe I'll make it a regular feature. They are often very funny.

brando, thank you kindly for stopping in :)

 
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

The WTF bird IS a Picasso!! Buy it quick before everybody else gets wise.

 
Blogger Random and Odd said...

Thank you for always being here!

 
Anonymous jessica_deva said...

I just love, love, love this post!

 
Anonymous kalki said...

Hee, this was hysterical and made me very happy.

Thanks for you. :)

 
Blogger WILLIAM said...

Susie, I am so sorry I missed this post yesterday. What a great treat. Thanks for sharing.

 
Blogger LadyBug said...

The inbred turkey got me. I was afraid my giggling would wake the kids. Teehee.

I'm so thankful our paths have crossed in the blogworld, Susie. Love and hugs to you and yours today and every day.

 
Blogger mrtl said...

Those are excellent turkeys!

Bug had drawn a picture of Mom Mom and Pops, which was displayed in her room. When Pops saw it, he pointed at a big blue circle near the top of a straight line and asked her if that was his nose. She said it was, but then drew his face again. The nose was next to the eyes, and the mouth was a foot away to the side. What does it mean?

 
Blogger Susie said...

hoss, ooh, good advice! Watch ebay . . .

you're so welcome, Princess Kristine, and same to you.

jessica_d, so glad you enjoyed :)

kalki, if you're happy, I'm happy :)

william, no worries, it'll be up for while! Glad you like it :)

ladybug, I am happy to have helped you laugh, and happy to have met you, too :)

mrtl, I've heard of that; some have wandering eye, some have wandering nose . . .

 
Blogger _Summer_ said...

Thanks for this, Susie. This is, I think, my all-time favorite WWIT post. (I liked it even more than "booty flies.")

:)

 
Blogger eclectic said...

Your mind is a work of art in itself, Susie!

**still chuckling**

 
Blogger espresso bean said...

That is hysterical. I wish I would have seen your turkey picking guide before the holiday.

Taylor

 
Blogger Karen said...

Well, that turkey looks like it might have a big backside that it's trying to hide by being all prim and proper and tucking its legs in nicely. Yes, I identify with that turkey all right.

 
Blogger momo said...

I loved this one! You are so clever with the "look for" and "avoid" and "WTF", and those are really cute turkeys.

Thank you so much for sharing.

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

those turkeys are HILARIOUS! check out this Turkey Craft Collection - some funny ones in there, too :)

http://squirl.info/collection/show/1058

 
Blogger tAnYeTTa said...

i personally love the WTF turkey. he looks exactly the way i do on a daily basis :)

 


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